Freak4ever: Destiny

October 2006

INFO

Mon, Oct. 2

03:05 pm

This week

I have to start thinking about what I want to be when I grow up. I have a pretty good idea of what I'd like to do for a future career. I really like working at the Torch and I like investigating stuff. It gives me a sense that I'm actually doing something important. This week I'm going to be doing a story on the tolerance. That should be an easy one. Just in case it didn't show, I was being sarcastic. There are still people at school who avoid looking at me or talking to me. At least I still have my two best friends. Chloe and Pete will never abandon me no matter what.

I spent some time last night at dinner speaking to my parents about what I want to do after I graduate. Financially, things still aren't great for us, but dad told me not to worry about that. I'm going to look at some brochures for a few universities I have in mind. Should I skip MetU because Lois goes there? I think it's my first choice, mainly because it's close to home and it has some great courses that I'm thinking I might want to get into.

I plan to look over all my options very carefully. After all, this is the rest of my life I'm planning for. I can apply for a few scholarships and possibly get a part-time job. I was thinking model or something like that.

In other news, Lex and I are very much back together. He's been so busy with work that I literally have to make an appointment to see him. Most of the time, we talk on the phone. We have a date every night at ten PM on my cell phone. It's been a great week and the weekend was even better. Lex showed up without calling on Saturday night and we had a great time. I mean really great time. It was wonderful to have him so close where I could touch and taste him.

Now it's Monday and it's back to the grindstone.

~

Tue, Oct. 3

08:58 am

I wish I could do that every day.

Yesterday after class I rushed home and dressed up in my best suit (no tie) for my meeting with Mr. Lex Luthor. I had booked a meeting through his assistant last week without telling Lex. I wore a dark grey suit with a light grey dress shirt and my best shoes. I even flew to the city so I wouldn't ruin my shoes. I brought a note pad to make it look like I was a real reporter there to interview Lex.

Best meeting ever.

When I arrived at LuthorCorp head office in Metropolis, I was led into a boardroom with this monstrous table in the center of the room and eight plush chairs. Lex looked completely taken off guard for about two second before he put on his professional face and, asked his assistant to hold all his calls and then he locked the door behind us. It felt great because I could pretend to be Clark Kent, reporter, and Lex was my prey. I could be somebody else and I was out to dish major dirt on him. I cornered him against the table, pressing against him. I was so hard by then, and I asked if he could help me with my little problem, which was really a big problem. When we kissed the first time, it was electric, and the touch of his lips on mine sent a thrill through my body. I teased him with kisses on his lips and chin and neck, completely distracting him. He said he didn't mingle with reporters, but I showed him how much fun it is to mingle with me.

Before he knew what had happened, I yanked off his tie and used it to tie his hands behind his back. I used a little of my speed to accomplish this but the effect was amazing. Lex was so hard I thought he was going to bust out of his pants. Then I slowly unbuttoned his shirt and kissed him all over his chest, bit his nipples, and slid down to undo his pants so I could suck his cock. I glanced up as I sucked him and saw that he was spellbound by my performance. When I caught his eye, I deep-throated him and received the reaction I was hoping for: his whole body shuddered as he lost control and came.

After his climax, I undid my pants and pulled them down. I turned Lex around and bent him over the boardroom table and fucked him. I did it nice and slow and held onto his hips, making sure to leave some bruises. I wanted to mark Lex as mine. I knew just the right amount of pressure to use to leave only light bruising.

I know part of it was the location and the small chance that we'd be caught that helped turn me on. I never realized I could feel that excited by this fantasy, but I did and Lex was awesome, and the satisfaction I felt when I came inside him was incredible.

I untied Lex and we cleaned up and put our clothes back on. When I was leaving, Lex even said that I could come back any time for any follow-up questions that I might have for him.

I had to rush home for dinner since my parents were waiting on me. I was smiling so much all night that Dad asked me what was up. I told them that I loved them and I was happy they were my parents. Now I can relax and relive every second of my afternoon meeting with Lex.

~

Wed, Oct. 4

11:19 am

Embarrassment all around

Does Lex have to tell his whole friends list about our private stuff? I wish he wouldn't do that. I know I can't control what he does and says on his own space, but wow -- that was a really detailed post. I read it last night in my room, and by the time I was finished reading it, I was hard, and I had to jerk off. Five seconds after I was finished my Dad walked into my room. I totally freaked out on him and he ran from my room. Luckily, I had my back to the door, but I had my laptop open in front of me. I didn't even ask what he thought of that. He probably thinks I'm a total pervert who was jerking off to porn, which I sort of was since Lex's post could be considered porn.

I cleaned up and went downstairs to tell my Dad off. We had a huge fight. I think I deserve some privacy. Dad said he was truly sorry for barging in like that. He said he's just used to having access to me all the time. I told him that I'm not a refrigerator that he can just look into whenever he feels like it. After that argument, we agreed that from now on he and Mom would knock whenever I'm in my room and they want to speak to me.

When I went back up to my room, I listened in on their conversation. Dad's just freaked because I'm not a boy anymore, and Mom is freaked because I'm a man. Did they just suddenly realize this, because the fact that I'm dating Lex and I tower over them and I've had sex and I'm not sucking my thumb anymore didn't give it away? I have needs and I'm going to satisfy them. They have to realize that, right?

At least my dad didn't tell Mom what he'd seen. He hinted and Mom caught on. Then I tuned them out when he said he was going to show her how much she means to him and the kissing started.

When I went down this morning for breakfast, they were both in a really happy mood. I didn't ask because I can guess. Dad even hugged me and said he was sorry for what happened last night. Then on his way out, he smacked Mom on the ass. She blushed and threw a dishtowel at them. I must have looked at Mom with horror because she smacked me on the shoulder and told me that since I'm a mature adult now, I should be able to handle knowing my parents are still getting it on. Those were her exact words! My mom actually said getting it on.

I told her that I'd be sleeping in the loft from now on. I think I need my memory erased.

~

Thu, Oct. 5

11:16 am

Happy life

I couldn't be happier with life at this moment. I'm back with Lex. Everything between us is awesome. My Dad actually knocked on my door this morning instead of barging in. The other day, we had an argument about privacy and I reminded him that I'm eighteen now and deserve some respect in that department. I was really glad that he knocked because most mornings I wake up excited and I always have to take care of it before I get out of bed, or I'm knocking things over and breaking stuff. That didn't come out quite the way I meant, but it's the truth.

Lex and I talked on the phone last night. We discussed diplomacy and tolerance because I still have to write that article for the Torch and it's supposed to be on Chloe's desk this morning. I haven't even started it yet, but I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to say. Then we talked about extracurricular activities and how much fun they can be.

Lois is in town this weekend to be with Chloe. She's been spending a lot of time with her cousin because of what happened with Chloe's father. I swear I am trying real hard to be nice to Lois. She's been so good for Chloe and I don't want to step on toes. Come to think of it, Lois hasn't actually said anything mean or nasty to me in a while. She's living in Chloe's house which helps. Maybe we're finally in a place where we can actually be civil to each other.

~

Fri, Oct. 6

11:21 am

A friend in need

Chloe came over late last night. I ended up missing my call with Lex. He did call, but I told him I'd have to take a rain check since I had a friend over.

We sat in the living room and watched DVDs until she started to cry. Then I held her in my arms for a while. I was at a total loss as to what to say to her. All I could do was listen while she talked about her dad and how much she misses him. I told her I'd always be there for her and that no matter what or when she could count on me. I'm not sure what I said wrong because it made her cry even more. She fell asleep in my arms and I carried her up to the spare room and put her to bed. Then I called Lois to let her know that Chloe was safe.

This morning Chloe looked a little better. She was very apologetic, and I told her not ever to be sorry for getting upset. We had breakfast together and I managed to make her smile, which was so nice to see because she has a great smile. We drove to school in Chloe's car, and now I'm here in the Torch office, hiding out. Lana was just here. She's really worried about Chloe. I told her about last night and she told me she had things to do and left.

~

Sun, Oct. 8

07:16 pm

This has been an interesting day (post made by Lionel)

Lex and I went on an unplanned visit to see his father. It surprised me the way Lex behaved towards that poor man. His own father lies sick and dying in a hospital bed and Lex shows no remorse at almost having sent him to jail. It's sad. I wish it were different for him, because it's important to love your parents.

Anyway, I'm home now and really happy to be with my parents. Dad put me to work on almost every single chore on the farm. I didn't mind, because I love to do these things for my father. After that I took a long hot shower and washed every inch of my body very carefully. Now I'm chilling out in my loft. I should go check and see what my mom is doing. I think she's baking cookies for me. I bet she could really use my help. I wonder if she'd let me lick the bowl.

~

Mon, Oct. 9

11:33 am

My simple life (post made by Lionel)

I was awoken much too early this morning, which was unfortunate because I was having the most incredible dream. In the dream, I was rich and sunbathing in the Riviera. What made it worse was being dragged out of bed to do chores before going to school. I wasn't in the mood at all. I wanted to do other things, like get back to that dream.

School is boring. I feel as though I've done this all before. I really wish I could have skipped class, but I'm pretty sure my parents would be upset at me for doing that. I'm betting the school would have called the moment I didn't show up for class.

I can't wait for this day to be over. I'm planning on rushing home to watch mom bake pies.

~

Tue, Oct. 10

02:34 pm

A much better day (post made by Lionel)

Today school has not been that bad. I decided to try something different and dress up nicely. I was pleased to see people take notice, especially the girls. I have to admit, I liked the attention. It was freeing to be able to flirt without any pressure or obligation. I think it's time I made a few changes in my life. I really feel like I'm growing up. I'm not going to be here on this farm all my life. I'll have to make my way in the real world and that's going to require a different approach.

Mom has been so great about everything. While I was searching for something not flannel to wear, we had the most amazing talk. We hugged and I felt as though everything had suddenly become so much clearer. I love my mom. I feel like I could take on the world.

I wonder what Lex is up to. I should go visit him after class today. I bet he misses me, especially since I had to cancel out on our usual phone date last night.

~

08:17 pm

My god! (post made by Lionel)

The foolish boy has made things so much easier for me. Kent should learn to be less trusting. Imagine my surprise when I found this journal on his laptop and discovered that he's already logged in. A simple matter of a password change and this space is now mine, marking this as the beginning of my new life as Clark Kent. I had no idea what my son was hiding from me, but now that I know, I can see why he didn't want me to find out about young Kent. This body is amazing. I lifted that tractor like it was made of cardboard.

When I summoned Lex to my bedside, with the purpose of taking control of his body, I wasn't expecting that young Kent would know what I was up to and try to stop me. Unfortunately for him, I now have his life and I have big plans for the boy. Or should I say for me.

On the drive home from that hospital, I did bring up Lex's attitude towards (me) his father. I couldn't resist. I had to know and I knew Lex would speak freely, thinking he was with Kent. The hate my son feels for me was palpable. He's content to allow me to die in that bed. Well, the joke's on you son. I have a new lease on life and I am going to take full advantage of it.

I've never felt as invigorated as I do now. After spending months in that wretched body of mine, this is a welcome change. The victory I felt at the look in my eyes, Kent's eyes, as I walked off with Lex, was nothing short of triumphant. The drive home with Lex was interesting. He touches Kent a lot. I've never known Lex to touch anybody so much. To make it look good, I had to touch him a few times myself. Luckily, we didn't have to talk the whole drive.

This is incredible. I wonder if Kent is like those mutants we have locked away... If he is, he's got the mother lode of mutations. Strength like I've never seen, and just a moment ago, I discovered the speed.

I'm going to have to tread carefully. I must play a much more convincing part if I'm to pull this off. It seems Lex is rather closer to Kent than I'd ever realized. I knew they were lovers, but I had no idea Lex was truly so smitten with the farm boy. It was an innocent enough game that I played tonight. I went over to the mansion to observe my son in repose. We played a game of pool and Lex flirted relentlessly. I shouldn't have gone there. It was foolish. Lex could very well start to wonder what's wrong with Clark.

I had no idea Lex could be so affectionate. A part of me almost wishes his words of kindness had been for me and not Clark. I'm going to have to steer clear of my son, otherwise what happened could happen again, and I'm not sure I could continue to fake that level of affection. It was one thing to allow the touching. I've always touched my son, but I shouldn't have allowed that kiss. It was foolishness. Lex might start to suspect something.

I must watch my step.

~

Wed, Oct. 11

08:18 am

I should have expected that (post made by Lionel)

After a very eventful day yesterday, I ended it with phone sex. My son and young Kent have a standing engagement to talk dirty via a cell phone most likely generously provided by Lex. That was a first and I think I pulled it off. Lex never even suspected I wasn't his boy toy. After the fiasco of the pool game, I had to go along with the conversation or Lex might start to suspect something was wrong. I knew Lex was rather loose, but I had no idea how depraved he could be.

I must admit, I was momentarily thrown when he asked what I wanted to do to him. I think the spanking fantasy I concocted threw him for a loop. The thought of bending that ungrateful son of mine over my knee and administering a well-deserved spanking does sound rather appealing. It's not Kent's usual fantasy, as I discovered after reading some of the rather tedious posts here in this journal. Kent is boring unless provoked by my lascivious son. Kent is boring period, but I'm about to change all that.

I meant for the body switch to be with Lex, but this is so much better. Now Clark is trapped in that dying old shell that I once inhabited and I am in his youthful hulk of a form. Not only do I have a new lease on life, but I have a very interesting one indeed. Clark Kent isn't just a pretty boy. He's gorgeous, well endowed and comes like a freight train.

This is unforeseen. I'll need to alter my original plans. First I have to get away from his parents. Having Jonathan Kent slap my back like a comrade was almost too much to stomach. Beyond that, that hypocritical windbag never knows when to shut up. But Martha is another story. She looks incredibly beautiful, especially in her tight jeans. I am sure that my eyes lingered on her assets longer than was proper. Not that Jonathan noticed. He's such a trusting man. Neither Kent suspects a thing. As far as they are concerned, I am their loving boy Clark.

Once I obtain my money from my account, I can get out of this hick town and move into a new high life as Clark Kent, playboy. Alas, I cannot take Martha with me, unless she'd be willing to run off with her own son. Wouldn't that make for interesting gossip?

How can Martha buy these ugly clothes for her son? All that plaid is disgusting. As soon as I have a chance, I am burning every article of clothing Clark owns. I did find a few garments in the back of his closet and in his loft that are much more suitable for where I'm headed. I'll probably keep those, but once I have the funds, Clark and I are going shopping.

I can't stop looking in the mirror. I see now what Lex finds so attractive in Clark. He's nothing short of perfect. I should find a pretty young thing to bed, test out Clark's stamina. Perhaps Chloe Sullivan would be up to the task.

~

Thu, Oct. 12

10:22 am

(post made by Lionel)

Threats on his own person did nothing, but once I threatened to kill Lex, Clark complied with my wishes readily. He thinks I'll never get away with taking over his life, but he's sadly mistaken. As soon as I have my money, I am out of this hick town. I abhor this place. It's filthy and disgusting.

I've already gotten a head start on Clark's new life. After I discovered the ability to shoot flames from my eyes, I burned all of Kent's flannel and jeans. They made a wonderful bonfire. I had thought to possibly bring a friend along for the ride, but alas Miss Sullivan turned down my advances and Jason Teague, yet another of Lex's lovers, wasn't up to the challenge. I must admit kissing them was rather pleasurable, especially Chloe. It felt good to have all that brute strength behind my actions. I suppose I should have been more careful, but I doubt Chloe will contact the authorities. I'm sure she wouldn't want her good friend Clark Kent to get into trouble. It was well worth it to see the look in her eyes. She's a rather attractive young lady, especially when she's in tears.

There's a very interesting story behind the discovery of the fire-eyes. It seems that my own libido awakens this body, as I discovered for myself when I elicited a simple hug from Martha. That woman could make anybody shoot fire from their eyes.

Now I must concentrate on retrieving my financial assets. After that, my traitorous son needs to be taught a lesson.

~

11:51 am

(post made by Lionel)

That ungrateful bastard. Lex pilfered my account. Every cent is gone. I want that money back now. The little thief is going to pay for this. I will see to it.

~

Fri, Oct. 13

07:58 am

I wish I could change everything

Lionel took my life from me and almost destroyed everything, but Lex figured it out. He knew something was wrong, and he saved me.

While I was trapped in Lionel, I was drugged almost all the time. The person who helped him made sure I was out of commission. Lionel had promised him a huge payoff. He told me how Lionel had found the stone and how he had planned to trick Lex into switching bodies and taking over Lex's life while Lex died in Lionel's body. Lionel was trying to use that stone on Lex, but I got between them and ended up body swapping with Lionel. It was horrible to be in that old gross body.

Luckily, I finally managed to convince the guy that Lionel was a double-crossing jerk. He gave me the stone Lionel had used for the transference and I phoned Lex, who came to my bedside as soon as I proved I was me.

I was so happy to see Lex after being in that hospital bed for the last few days. As soon as he was there, I forgot that I was Lionel, Lex's father, and tried to kiss Lex. When Lex backed away in horror, I realized my mistake. Lex wasn't angry at all. He was just glad I was okay. Lex came up with a plan to trick Lionel into returning to me so that I could get my body back.

Once Lionel showed up, Lex and I tricked him into getting close enough for me to shake his hand. It was such a relief to be me again. Lex and I left a very confused and disoriented Lionel (who seemed to have forgotten everything that had happened while he was me) in his room, and drove back to Smallville. It was a little awkward mainly because I wanted to hold Lex's hand the whole way home and he kind of had to drive. It just felt so good to be able to touch him again.

After a long kiss and a hug, Lex dropped me off at home. My parents were worried sick about me. They told me everything Lionel had done. They said Chloe and Lana had stopped by to speak to me. Chloe was in tears and Lana was furious. I don't know how she did it, but somehow mom convinced them not to talk to anybody about what had happened.

And on top of all that, he crushed my cell phone, (the one Lex and I used to talk late at night) and he destroyed my laptop. I'm using my mom's computer to write this post. I don't know when I'll get a new one. I paid for that laptop with my own money. It was upsetting to find it smashed to bits on the floor of my loft. At least I was able to gain back control of my journal. That would have totally sucked if I'd lost it.

~

10:27 am

I'm back for real

This is a really hard post to write, but I need to tell somebody. It's me this time. My journal was taken from me and used by somebody else. I know this is going to sound totally insane, but Lionel tried to steal my life. He almost got away with it except Lex figured out something was wrong and Lionel revealed himself. I'm not sure how he did it and I can't describe it any other way and I know it sounds totally insane, but somehow switched our bodies. I was in his body and he was in mine, and he took over my life. I was trapped for the past week in him. It was a total nightmare.

While I was him, I couldn't contact anybody and when I tried to call Lex to warn him, he hung up on me, thinking it was his dad calling.

If that wasn't bad enough, all the horrible things Lionel did while he was me altered my relationship with all my friends. Chloe and Lana both hate me and when I tried to tell them it wasn't me, they told me never to go near them again. Chloe has this bruise on her cheek and I'm guessing Lionel had something to do with it. I tried to get her to tell me what she thinks I did, but she wouldn't listen. Then Lana told me off. She was so angry. I can't tell them what really happened and even if I did, it just sounds so insane, they'd never believe me. I guess I'll just have to give them some space and hope they forgive me eventually.

Lionel even tried to sleep with Coach Teague! What am I supposed to do? How do I get my friends back when I can't tell them what happened?

I'm going to have to use other computers because Lionel destroyed my laptop and my hanky panky cell phone. I wish I could hide out for the rest of my life, that or move far away until everybody forgets what happened. I'm really sorry about everything.

~

Sat, Oct. 14

11:46 pm

It gets worse.

All my friends hate me. I learned more details of what Lionel did to them. He tried to force himself on Chloe. He grabbed Coach Teague by the wrists and kissed him hard enough to bruise. Then Lionel told him that he could do way better than Lex. He told Lana she was a bitch who could probably be fixed with one good fuck. Chloe and Lana both still refuse to speak to me. Coach Teague told me not to go near him because there are rules of conduct and he could lose his job.

If only I could lay low for a few years.

I don't even want to think about what else Lionel did to my body. He destroyed all my clothes and all I have left are my black shirts and dress pants. Now I'm going to have to go shopping again. And I read those private posts he made. Lex hasn't said anything to me about what happened while he thought it was me he was talking to for the past week. Lionel totally violated my whole life. He got horny with my mom! God -- I think I want to die. I don't even want to think about the phone sex. Spanking? I'd never want that. For one thing, I am way stronger than Lex, and it would be totally unfair. And kissing? I am going to play totally dumb with Lex. Something I can do easily.

It feels so good to be back in my own body. I have the second stone and sometime soon I'm going to the cave to put it in the slot. I'm thinking of asking Lex to come with me so I can show him what I'm doing, but I'm afraid he might freak. Maybe after I see what will happen once all three pieces are assembled, I can talk to Lex. I finally told my mom and dad about the secret room in the caves and how I put the first stone in its slot. I hate making them worry even more than they already do. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to tell them about it at all, but I guess I have to face the fact that my life is never going to be normal. I really wish it could be.

Now we have to worry about what Lionel is going to do with what he's learned about me. He never discovered the true secret, but if he remembers everything that happened while he was me, we're screwed.

~

Sun, Oct. 15

09:49 am

I have a new laptop

It totally rocks just like my boyfriend. On Friday, I got home from school to find a brand new Sony Vaio laptop with a big red bow on top waiting in my room. It was the gift Lex told me about. He also got me a T-Mobile sidekick that's purple and black. It's the most awesome thing ever. I can even go online with it and use e-mail and make posts to LJ. I dared my dad to argue about the gifts, but he didn't say a word.

I rushed right over to the mansion to thank Lex in person, properly and multiple times. I can't really give details here, but let's just say I am sore and I left him with the biggest smile on his face. And Lex did this thing with his hands... it was totally hot. When I close my eyes and think about his touch, I feel all warm inside.

Off to play with my new toys. I think I'll send Lex some e-mails thanking him for the amazing awesome hot sex.

~

Mon, Oct. 16

11:03 am

I am truly forgiven

When I arrived at the mansion on Friday to thank Lex for his generous gifts, I stopped at the door to his office and stood watching him. He was gorgeous and to drink him in with my eyes felt like heaven. He was wearing casual dress clothes, and my mind was already on how to get him out of them. At first I felt a bit timid and unsure of whether I would be welcome after what had happened, but Lex put me at ease right away. When he reached for me and we kissed I knew everything was going to be okay.

We sat down on his leather sofa and talked briefly before I returned his original gesture and kissed him. I could have kissed him all night. We went up to Lex's bedroom and I undressed him slowly, revealing his body to me. The bruises on his neck were a shock. I knew what it would have taken to make them. As I undressed and tossed my own clothes aside, Lex lay down on the bed, stretching out for me, his luscious body mine to explore. I took full advantage and caressed and kissed my way up from the tips of his wonderful toes to his lush mouth. When I was satisfied that I had lavished enough love on him, I lay down on my stomach and gave myself up to him.

Lex fell upon me immediately and before I knew it, he had my legs spread. I jumped at the feel of his tongue on my back. He worshiped me with kisses and his gifted hands. The sheets torn in my tight grip and I screamed out my release as he thrust into me with his talented tongue.

As I lay there barely capable of coherent thought, I felt cool wet fingers probe into me, fucking me gently at first. Then moments later they were replaced by the hard thickness of Lex's cock, stretching me, filling me. If I thought I'd experienced the best moment that day, I was wrong. His hands gripped my hips tightly as he raised my ass higher to get a better angle. I whispered words of encouragement. Lex sped up his thrusts, pounding into me. It was ecstasy. My mind was spinning, completely lost in him and what we were doing.

When Lex came, he cried out my name. We collapsed on to the bed and I lay there in a haze. I don't know what set it off, but I felt this grateful pang in my heart and I told Lex that I loved him completely. I had tears in my eyes and I tried to hide them, but he saw and he asked me what was wrong. Nothing was wrong. I was so happy to be there with him and be me again, and I told him about my fears that I'd never be free of his father. Lex immediately reassured me that he would never have allowed that to happen. I hugged him close, afraid that it was all a dream and that I wasn't really there. I wanted to be sure that I was really me and Lex was still in love with me. He held me as I cried out my fears. He never wavered and he never gave up on me.

I feel like I'm the luckiest person on the planet, because I love Lex and Lex loves me. I close my eyes and I imagine the look on his face as we lay in his bed at that moment. If it hadn't been for Lex, I never would have gotten my life back. For that and for everything Lex has ever done for me, I am grateful. I will probably never be able to thank him enough, but I sure am going to have fun trying.

~

Tue, Oct. 17

02:02 pm

I woke this morning

When I got up this morning, I felt really weird, and then I realized it was because I was me. I wasn't him anymore and that was a huge relief.

I got to school, and Chloe once again left the Torch office as soon as I walked in. I tried to talk to Lana, but she told me to back off. I guess it's going to take more time.

At least I have my new laptop and I can e-mail Lex any time to tell him that I miss him and that I love him. I just sent him an e-mail and reminded him to destroy the message as soon as he's done reading it.

I'm off to gym class.

~

Wed, Oct. 18

08:35 am

Will my life ever get back to normal?

This morning I woke up to find my Mom by my side. She said I'd been calling out Lex's name in my sleep. She said I was saying stuff like 'No, Lex don't leave me here' and 'Help me, Lex.' My t-shirt was drenched in sweat and my hair was wet. I guess I had a nightmare about what happened. Mom was so freaked she stayed with me and held me in her arms for a long time. I didn't want her to let me go. I told her all about how horrible it was while I was trapped and how I was so afraid I'd die as Lionel. Once I felt safe enough to peel myself away from her, she went downstairs to make breakfast and I took a long shower.

Mom is so amazing. She made my favorite breakfast: food! I ate everything in sight. I was so hungry. Dad called me a bottomless pit and we laughed. It felt so good to be there with my parents. I love them both so much. At first I thought that maybe I should tell mom about what I'd read in those posts Lionel made in my journal, but it's probably better to just leave it alone. It's bad enough that I know how Lionel used my body. If mom knew that he was having those kinds of thoughts about her, it would probably not go over well. I wish I could be in the dark about all that as much as my parents are. I'm just grateful that Lionel didn't do any more damage. What he did do is already bad enough.

I have to stop thinking about this. It's driving me crazy! I wish I hadn't read those posts before I deleted them! Unfortunately, it's too late to change that, and I'm stuck knowing what he did. I wish Lex had figured it out sooner. I'm really afraid that I'm going to slip up and mention the whole phone sex thing. We haven't done it since I returned to my body, and maybe it's better that way too. I'm willing to bet it's on Lex's mind, and he can't bring himself to start it up again. Last night our talk was very brief.

I am totally over-thinking this! I just know I am. I have to stop it because that's Lex's job. I should concentrate on getting on with my life. Put the whole thing behind me and act like nothing ever happened. The only problem is I'm reminded of it every time I see Chloe and Lana. I don't even want to think about what Lois will do to me when she sees me.

The good: I am me and I am awesome.

The bad: there is no bad, just stuff that happened that I can't fix.

~

09:45 pm

I spoke too soon

I should never have invoked the name of she who can't be talked about, because then she will show up and harass me.

I was not in the mood after what happened this morning to speak to anybody. My plan had been just to go quietly through classes, rush home and hide out in my loft, but fate had other plans for me. Lois showed up at the school. She was loaded for bear. Let me tell you, a crazed Lois Lane is not a pretty sight. She was furious. I told her to back off and that I didn't have time for her. I was on my way out the door, but she managed to corner me. I resisted the urge to stuff her into a locker.

I was surprised when Chloe and Lana showed up and saved me from the wrath of Lois. They didn't stick around to talk afterwards. Lana glared at me and walked away. Chloe pulled Lois off of me, and I could have sworn I saw sympathy in the look she gave me. I might be wrong, but maybe Chloe is finally coming around. She knows how insane things in this town can be.

I was in a hurry today because I wanted to put that stone in the wall. I don't want anybody else ever to use it to switch with somebody else. After my run-in with the three witches, I went home to get the stone and then I went to the cave to place it in the slot. Nothing much happened. The room lit up and that was about it. I need that last piece to complete the puzzle. I think it might be that piece that made me fly to it the summer I was Kal. It looked like it would fit. I have to find it again. I have to get this over with.

~

Thu, Oct. 19

11:12 pm

My day summed up

No phone sex again. Lois sucks. Lana still glares at me every time I see her. There was one thing. Chloe didn't leave the Torch office the second I walked in and she even said hi to me. Maybe she's sort of ready to forgive me.

I did chores after school, and then talked to Mom about the nightmares I've been having. She said I yelled again in my sleep. I guess this isn't something I can just forget about overnight.

I really wish I could talk to Lex about it, but he has his own demons to slay.

~

Sat, Oct. 21

11:50 pm

Alexander and Hephaestion

I woke up this morning later than usual. I'd been so tired last night and I fought sleep because I was too afraid that I would dream again, but I didn't dream. It felt so good to wake up to that instead of sweaty sheets and the panicked feeling that I'd lost my life.

My parents were so awesome today. Normally I'd be up and doing chores at five in the morning, but Dad said I could take it easy for a change. I was a complete slacker. I lazed around my loft, then in the afternoon Mom and I went into town to the thrift shop to pick up some t-shirts for me and a few pairs of jeans. I found the nicest red flannel shirt. I totally love it. I wore it out of the store. I ended up with almost a whole new wardrobe, and it didn't cost too much.

We had a wonderful family dinner. Mom made steak and potatoes. It was delicious. After dessert, I went up to my loft. I was going to read, but then I decided to go see Lex. He was in his office, sipping a drink by the fire, looking all sexy and lost in thought, so I tempted him into joining me up in his bedroom, not that it took much. I threw my jacket at him, winked suggestively, and he followed me up to his room. We lay down on the floor on a plush rug with big fluffy pillows. I haven't felt that relaxed in such a long time. I think I was smiling the whole time.

We started to kiss and I wanted to touch every inch of his body. I slowly stripped our clothes off, throwing them aside. I bet his clothes cost a lot, but there they were -- his 1,000 dollar silk shirt and tie tossed in with my 10 dollar red t-shirt and worn leather belt. They made a nice pile.

We sort of started to role play. Lex was Alexander and I was his faithful lover Hephaestion who would join him in his bed at night. Lex said that I was the only one who could do that to him. At first I felt a little self-conscious. I even blushed at the silliness of it all, but then I started to get into my part. I kissed him from his lips to his bellybutton, and then I slipped his pants and briefs off, licking his hips and thighs and cock. He whispered dirty words into my ear, urging me to take him and make him completely his. I was so fucking hard. I thought I would explode before I even entered him, but I held on.

When we were both naked, I slowly kissed him all over, trying to drive him mad with passion, but it had the reverse effect. I grew impatient and I pinned Lex under me, gripping both his wrists in one hand so that he couldn't escape. Then I kissed him long and hard. His body responded to my every touch, my every caress, and when I entered him, we locked eyes. He begged me to fuck him. I was so lost in the moment, thrusting into him much harder than I usually would. I called him Alexander who was my conqueror on the battlefield, but in the bedroom he was mine.

I want to do it again right now. That was so much fun, pretending to be somebody else. I could cut loose.

By the time I left to go home, I could see that Lex already had bruises forming on his hips and his wrists. I wanted to feel bad, but while I was fucking him I said I would mark him so everybody would know he was mine, and I guess I did, though nobody else will see the bruise but me and Lex. I like it that way. He can wake up tomorrow sore knowing it was me who made him that way.

I think I need something to drink.

~

Sun, Oct. 22

09:59 am

I feel so awesome

Last night I stopped by the mansion to see Lex, and we had the most amazing time. This morning I woke up happier than I've been in a long while. I woke up slowly, lazing in my warm sheets for as long as possible. Then I went downstairs for breakfast. Mom and Dad gave me strange looks, then pointed out that I was whistling. I didn't give details, but they both knew it had to do with Lex. Dad didn't seem too thrilled that my boyfriend (who is the most awesome person in the whole world) was the reason for my great mood, but I ignored his sour response and practically skipped through my chores. I told them to go out and do something together because they deserved a chance to relax.

How was I supposed to tell my parents that I had the most amazing sex ever last night? I couldn't exactly share that with them. I couldn't even hint without blushing, which I did --blush that is, when they asked about my smiles.

I don't have anybody I can scream my joy and happiness to, so I write it in here.

Lex, my boyfriend, is the hottest, most sexy guy ever and he's all mine! I am the only one who makes him feel the way he feels and I love him more than I could ever express in words.

After I came back to the house from chores, I found a note from my parents saying they'd be in the city all day, having fun. I have the whole place to myself. I think I'm going to dance in my underwear and sing. Anybody want to join me? Hint, hint -- Lex if you're not busy, stop by to see the worst dancer in the universe.

~

Mon, Oct. 23

10:56 am

Caught in the act

We weren't in the middle of anything.

Yesterday Lex showed up at the house just as I was about to make some lemonade. I hadn't stripped down to my underwear yet, but I was planning on it when he walked through my back door. I was playing some music so I swept him into the living room and we danced. Lex said in as polite a manner as possible that I needed lessons, so he showed me the right way to slow dance. I never did get to finish making that lemonade.

We danced and kissed and then I dragged him up to my bedroom so we could have even more privacy. I could spend hours kissing Lex. He has the most amazing lips. Have I ever talked about how great a kisser he is? He can get me turned on with just his mouth.

I won't go into heavy details about our sexcapades -- sorry. Some things should remain private, but I will say that by the time we were finished, I could barely move and Lex was practically purring. After getting semi-decent (we put our underwear back on), both of us were way too lethargic to move. Lex practically wrapped himself around me. He totally cuddled me. I call it! Lex cuddles after sex. He's a big shot in the boardroom but in my bed, he's a pussy cat. I was just about to drift off to sleep when the door of my room opened and my mom called my name.

Mom ordered us to put some clothes on, and get downstairs immediately. We quickly got dressed and went downstairs to find my parents in the kitchen. Mom was busy making lemonade, and Dad looked very upset. They were both very polite while Lex was still here, but as soon as he made his escape, claiming he had work that needed his immediate attention, my Dad let me have it.

To make a long story short, I can't have Lex up in my room when I'm home alone. I especially can't have him over and be naked with him. Not that my dad said it in those words, but that was what was implied. He was furious. Mom wasn't as angry but she did say she was surprised that I would do something like this, which is way worse because it was like she was saying I had betrayed their trust. Since I'm not a kid anymore they couldn't really ground me or anything, but they did make me feel really guilty last night. This morning all I can think about is how wonderful it felt to have Lex there with me. He makes me feel so warm and at peace.

This morning at breakfast, Dad asked me if Lex and I had talked about anything specific while he was over or if we'd just (then he paused and cleared his throat and made these vague hand gestures) and said "you know." It was weird and kind of freaky to have my dad talk about that, but I guess he was trying to be supportive or something. My Dad can be kind of strange about these things.

~

09:58 pm

So that's what he meant

Lionel is all better and, on top of that, he is now living at the mansion with Lex. I can't believe Lex didn't tell me. He was here yesterday, and then we were together the other night. He had many opportunities to tell me all about it, but he didn't. I had to find out from Chloe.

When I got home, I talked to my parents and they said they already knew, but that they were leaving it for Lex to tell me. Dad said he confronted Lex about it last week! I'm so clueless. Then Dad showed me the article from the paper all about Lionel's miracle cure.

This sucks. I have to go talk to Lex right now. He better have a good reason for keeping something this important from me.

~

Tue, Oct. 24

01:16 pm

I never made it to the mansion

I meant to go talk to Lex, but I had so much homework and so many chores yesterday that I didn't have a chance. Then while I was pacing in the loft thinking of how to approach the whole situation, my dad came up to talk to me. He asked that I not go see Lex about this. He thinks I should let Lex come to me and discuss it then. I was too tired so I ended up staying in. I had plenty of time to think about everything.

It also gave me a chance to catch up on my homework and do some research into Alexander the Great. That was really interesting.

In some other news, it seems that Chloe has finally forgiven me, but Lana is still holding out. When I said hello to her this morning in the hallway, she asked if I still think she could use a good f*** to straighten her out. She looked really mad, and I have to think that maybe it's about more than just me. I had better steer clear of her from now on. I'll just let her come to me when she's ready.

At least Chloe likes me again.

~

Sat, Oct. 28

07:19 pm

It's been a few days

Lex has been away doing business in the city for the past few days. It turned out that he was busy planning a charity costume ball that he's holding at the mansion on Halloween. He was busy finalizing everything for that.

He stopped in for a half hour to talk to me about some stuff. I don't really understand why he's letting Lionel stay at the mansion, but it seems that it's something Lex has to do. I mostly listened to what he had to say and tried not to remind him of the things that the man has done. I get that he's Lex's dad.

He also dropped off my invitation to the party. I told him there was no way I could afford the ticket and he said he'd take care of it. Then I noticed that it said to RSVP by October 26 which already passed. I think he wanted to hit me, but I was only kidding with him. He even got me a costume. It's cool. He said he's dressing up as Alexander and that my costume is Hephaestion. Even if we can't go to the party as a couple, we'll both know the truth. He seemed really upbeat about the whole thing. I can't wait until Tuesday. It's probably going to be a lot of fun.

I wish he could have stayed longer but he said he had more stuff to do. We kissed goodbye and he left just as Chloe was arriving. She and I were supposed to be doing some research, but Chloe was too busy oohing and ahhing over my costume. She made me try it on for her, and my dad walked in just as we finished putting it all together. The armor thing was hard to figure out even with both Chloe and I working on where everything should go. Dad invited Chloe to stay for dinner. Then my dad told me to change back into a man and flounced out of the loft. Seriously, you have not seen funny until you've seen my dad try to flounce.

I think the costume looks awesome. Chloe said my legs look great in a skirt. She said she can't wait to see the look on Lex's face when he sees me in it.

Dinner was nice. Chloe was very talkative. She's also going to the party. She and Lana are going together. They can do that since the whole town knows about them. She won't tell me what costumes they're going to wear. It was really nice to have her over and have her speaking to me again even if I barely got a word in at dinner.

After she left to go home, I came up to my loft to hang out and think. Then I decided to put the costume on again.

~

Sun, Oct. 29

11:19 pm

Talk with my Mom

Today felt like it would last forever. It was cloudy all day, and there was no sun. I wanted to phone Lex about a dozen times, but I resisted the urge. I know I'm going to see him on Tuesday night. My parents are going to his party. Mom showed me her costume, but dad didn't bring his out. He said he'll wear it on Tuesday and I can see it then. Mom's going to look so amazing in the pretty blue dress she chose. It looks like something out of Gone with the Wind. I'm assuming my dad's going to be her Rhett Butler. I didn't ask.

After dinner I decided to relax in a bubble bath. I hardly ever take baths mainly because I love showers, and the tub isn't big enough for my huge body. I ended up staying in the water for an hour. Afterwards, I got into my flannel pajamas and settled into bed with a few books I'd signed out of the library. I borrowed a whole bunch of books about Alexander the Great to do some research. Mom brought me some milk and cookies. We had a talk about Lex and what's been happening over at the mansion. She said Dad is worried about me and my safety. I reassured her that Lex had talked to me about it and that he would never let anything bad happen to me. I reminded her that what Lionel did to me had nothing to do with Lex. I could tell that my mom gets that and that she's worried about how Lex is holding up with his father around all the time.

She suggested that maybe I should stay away from the mansion and Lex could come over here instead. I know that was Dad's idea and Mom was the one elected to speak to me about this. She pointed out that Lex is a busy man, and I have way too much schoolwork. My parents think I should concentrate on figuring out what I'm going to do after I graduate from high school. We talked about college and other options. I joked that I could become a super hero with a costume and everything. Mom thought I was being serious. She thinks I could do whatever I put my mind to. I love my mom. She's so awesome.

I do have to start seriously thinking about these things. I know my parents are right. I don't know what I want to do. Maybe I'll travel or something. I'm not sure. I like the idea of traveling around the world. That would be so cool.

Back to my books.

~

Tue, Oct. 31

01:25 pm

Maybe I should have said something.

Last night I had an unexpected visitor in the loft. Alec stopped in to see me. He said he's cured. He wears this bracelet that releases lead into his blood and it stops him from using his teleporting ability. I know he's done horrible things and he tried to kill Lex, but he was nuts when all that happened. He said he was sorry for everything he'd done to hurt me and that he hoped I could find it in my heart to forgive him. I told him that he can't be a part of my life.

I couldn't help feeling bad at how defeated he looked as he described how he felt like he was watching somebody else do all those awful things. He told me he'd been drugged a lot while he was in Belle Reve but that he never once revealed my secret about my abilities to anybody. I asked him about my other secret and he apologized over and over for telling anybody about my being gay.

Before he left, he said he'd leave me alone. I hope he's telling the truth. I wanted to say something to my parents, but I didn't see the point. I can't imagine how bad he must be feeling and it's probably better to just leave it at that. If he's really better, it can't help to have people bothering him.

I can't wait for the party tonight. I'm so excited! I am really looking forward to seeing Lex in his costume. I want photographic evidence. My Dad made some grumblings this morning about my costume. He asked if I actually plan to wear "that thing Luthor (he called Lex by his last name which means Dad is upset) got you." I didn't say a word. I figured it was better to just ignore his complaints and leave it at that. I'm sure Mom will talk sense into him.

I have a test next period and I totally forgot to study.

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