The week is almost over!
How did that happen? I've been so busy with chores and other stuff that I almost didn't realize what day it was. I'm still hornier than I know what to do with. Sometimes Lex is there to help out, but a few times it was just insane. I have jerked off at least four or five times a day over the last week. I'm starting to get used to the idea that I am just a raving sexual beast that can never be satisfied. I need help. I have to ask Lex to do some tests on me or something because it's gotten worse over the last few days. I jerked off last night then called Lex to see if I could stop by. I almost rushed over to the mansion before his security person answered the phone and said that Lex was in the city on business. They had no idea where he was exactly, which seemed odd since I would have thought they would need to know that kind of thing. I thought maybe the guy was lying to me, so I tried to sweet-talk him into giving up the information, but he insisted that Lex hadn't told him where he was going to be. I wanted to go over there and beat it out of him, but then I calmed down, got off the phone and jerked off again.
At this point just about anything turns me on. I think about Lex and before I know it, my dick is rock hard I want to just fuck Lex over and over until he passes out. Maybe that would calm this whole thing down.
I have to stop this! I promised myself I wouldn't write another post about it and just try to stay calm and not think about it much. I guess that blew up in my face. Fuck! Now I said blew and I want somebody to blow me right now.
I was going to write about how weird my mom was acting this morning at breakfast. I was minding my own business, after having jerked off twice this morning, once in my bed and then in the shower. I bent the stupid towel rack. There's no way to hide that one, considering my hand left a very distinct impression. Then my mom comes over just as I'm about to eat my cereal and starts to smooth my hair because it was all wild from the shower -- it's getting long. She got this look in her eyes, then suddenly she got tears in her eyes and started to say stuff about how big I am and how I'm all grown up and that pretty soon I won't need her anymore.
I stood up and hugged her tightly then told her that no matter what I'd always need her. Then I jokingly asked if she wanted to feed me my cereal and she started to cry. My heart started to race. I don't like to see her cry. I held her in my arms and told her to stop crying because I love her and she's my mom and stuff like that. She finally did stop crying a few minutes later. I wiped her tears from away and she kissed me on the cheek and made me promise that I'd never leave her. I know she wasn't serious, but I told her that I'd stay with her forever. I promised I'd replace the towel bar as soon as I got home from school, then I went back to eating my cereal and she asked about Lex and school.
I love my mom so much. I love my parents. I think about all the stuff they've put up with over the years: broken things, crazy alien abilities manifesting out of the blue. They're the best parents ever. I love my life.
~
I'm totally calm. Really, I am.
I haven't really seen much of Lex this week. He always seems busy. When I called him tonight, hoping we could hook up, he seemed really distracted and at one point he didn't say anything at all. I called him and when he finally came back on the phone, he said everything was fine and that he had to go. Then he hung up on me. I didn't even get a chance to say bye. I wanted to rush to the city to make sure everything was fine, but Mom called me down for dinner.
I'm sure Lex was fine. He can take care of himself and he would tell me if he needed me. I know he would.
When I told mom and dad about the phone call, dad told me about this thing that had happened a few weeks ago. He said he'd found Lex in his car pulled over to the side of the road and disoriented. Lex didn't say anything to me about this, and when I asked dad why he hadn't told me, he said he assumed Lex would have mentioned it. Lex must have forgotten or something. He's been so distracted with work and things. I'll ask him about it the next time I see him.
We finished dinner and I told my parents to relax and I'd take care of all the chores. I went out to do as many chores as I could. I wanted to tire out, which is pretty impossible to begin with. I'd spent all day outside doing chores already but I needed more. I wanted more. I ran inside to ask my parents if they had anything else I could do. They were in the middle of making out on the sofa. I turned and ran out as fast as I could. Before I realized where I was going, I was at the mansion. I stopped and sneaked into Lex's room without getting caught. It's way too easy to get into the mansion. Lex has to be told that his security sucks. I suppose that I do have an unfair advantage.
I didn't stay long. I just walked around his room and checked out his closet. I sat in it for a while. I was hoping he'd left some of his scent all over his bed, but it smelled all fresh and stuff. I lay down in the bed and got hard thinking about the last time I'd been in the bed. I jerked off and whispered his name. I probably shouldn't have done that, but I wasn't ashamed. Before I would have been, but I've done so much now that something like this doesn't upset me or get me embarrassed. I bet I won't even blush when I tell Lex what I did.
I went home after I cleaned up to make sure nobody could tell anybody had been there. Before going inside the house, I used my hearing to check what my parents were up to. I didn't want to intrude on them again. My parents were up in their bedroom and I could hear my dad telling my mom that she's gorgeous. I stopped listening when I heard the sounds of sex. Even my parents are getting some!
I'm in my loft now and I am staying here until I can get the image of my parents doing it out of my head. I feel really antsy. I was on edge all day because my condition seems to have heightened over the last few days. I haven't had sex with Lex since April 28! I'm dying! I've been jerking off a lot more. I can't help it. I'm hard again even after jerking off at the mansion less than half an hour ago. I might have to talk to my parents about this if it gets much worse. I'm going to go call Lex and tell him about what I did. Maybe he'll talk sexy to me on the phone. I want him to tell me what he's going to do to me next time he has me alone.
I'm back from trying to call Lex. I got his voice mail, so it looks like he turned off his phone. It's late. He's probably in bed already. I think I'll do some stargazing then read a book or two and sleep out here in the loft. My parents deserve more privacy.
~
This just sucks
I finally managed to get through to Lex when I called last night. He apologized for not getting back to me and said he'd be in all kinds of meetings all week in the city. I asked if there was anything I could do to help, then felt stupid right after I said it, because what could I do? I'm just a kid, even if I'm going to be eighteen soon. That's kind of exciting. I wonder what Lex is going to get me for my birthday. I'd be fine with him naked chained to a bed, or something like that. Maybe I should tell him not to buy me anything. All I really want is to spend time with him. I could ask him for a fantasy.
Everything else in my life is cool. School is good. I've been doing amazingly well. Pete and I have been hitting the books hard lately. He's coming over tonight so we can study for this huge math test. Ugh. I want out of school!
My parents are really happy right now. They've been spending more time together now that I've taken over so much of the work around the farm. I'm more than happy to do that for them. Mom is smiling a lot more and Dad looks happier than I've seen in a long time. He even hugged me this morning before I left for school and thanked me for being such a great son. That was really nice.
I'm in the Torch office right now and Chloe is rushing around like she's lost her head. She's so cute. Now she just grabbed Pete, who only walked in ten seconds ago, and has swept him off to do something. I wasn't really paying attention so I'm not sure what they're doing. Hopefully it's not something crazy-ass. Chloe has a bad habit of getting into weird situations. Lately she hasn't, but it's only a matter of time. Lana and I are on sort of speaking terms. She said hi to me this morning. She's still limping a bit, but I hear she's doing really well with her physio.
Now I should probably get to class or I'm going to be late.
~
Sometimes my life totally sucks.
I got a frantic call from Pete last night. It turned out that Chloe was following a lead on some guy who had freaky abilities. At first I was really upset. They could have told me about it right away and I would have helped, but Chloe was sure she could handle it on her own. After all, the guy could turn into sand! He couldn't have been that dangerous, right? Wrong.
I rushed over to where they were. Chloe was already passed out and Pete was hiding from the guy. This guy, whose name I never got, was insane and wanted to make the town suffer for what it had done to him. I tried to reason with him, but instead of listening to me, he tried to kill me. When he saw that I was faster than normal he called me a freak and told me that I should die. I couldn't grab hold of him because each time I caught him he turned into sand in my hands and escaped. He wouldn't stop coming, so I finally used my heat vision on him and he went solid. I didn't have a choice. It was creepy and totally gross.
Pete and I watched as this guy crumbled into dust. I killed him. I fucking killed him, but I didn't mean to. I had no choice. He was going to kill my friends. Pete told me that he'd already killed three people before they found out about him. I was furious. I freaked and yelled at Pete the whole way to the hospital. Why didn't he tell me as soon as he knew about this? Why didn't Chloe tell me? I could have helped.
It turned out that Pete had only just found out about it last night. I wish he'd called me sooner. He told me that he'd suggested that to Chloe but that she'd said they didn't have time to call. It wasn't until they found another dead body that they finally decided to call. Pete was calling me just as that guy was trying to kill Chloe.
Chloe and Pete are both fine now. Chloe had to stay overnight in the hospital. I spent the night in the waiting room. Pete told me everything that had happened and tried to reassure me that I had no choice and that it wasn't my fault. I know he's right. I just wish there could have been a better way to handle it. Pete was so exhausted that he passed out in the waiting room. I told him to go home and get some rest, so he left this morning.
I had called Lana just before calling Lex. She came rushing in to the medical center as I was talking to Lex on the phone. She was angry that I hadn't called her sooner. I wanted to ask Lex if I could come over and be with him, but then he had to go, and Lana was really mad. I had to calm her down and explain to her what had happened. I left out the part about how I dealt with the guy. She got tears in her eyes when she saw Chloe in the hospital bed.
Chloe woke up and I told her that next time she's to call me right away, especially if it involved some crazed guy who wanted to destroy the town. Lana thanked me for saving Chloe's life. Once I knew they were both okay, I came home.
My Mom was frantic because they couldn't find me this morning. I'd totally forgotten to call my parents. Dad was a lot calmer. I'm glad because when I told them what had happened, it all hit me at once. My friends could have died, except I killed the guy. I started to cry. I couldn't help it. Mom held me while I cried, and Dad told me I did the right thing.
Mom said I could stay home from school, so I'm in my loft now. I wish Lex was here. I wanted to call him again, but I know he's busy and can't come over or he'd have rushed over. I'm surprised that he didn't and a little hurt.
I want to sleep. I feel tired and alone.
~
I feel a little better today.
I slept for a few hours yesterday, but then woke up in the middle of the night after I had a really bad nightmare. In the dream I was too late to save Chloe and Pete, and their ghosts were at their own funerals telling me that it was okay that I hadn't made it in time. Then I was in the room with that sand guy and he told me he did need to die. Then suddenly Lex was at my side and we were staring down at Chloe and Pete's dead bodies. Dream Lex told me that I shouldn't bother trying to be a hero because I always fail him.
I finally managed to get back to sleep. Just before I got up to get ready for school, I overheard my parents talking about letting me stay home another day. I was about to go down to tell them that I was fine, then my mom started to cry and my dad comforted her. I waited until she stopped crying before going down. I didn't want them to know that I'd overheard. When I went down for breakfast everything seemed normal. Mom was making all my favorite foods and dad was already sitting down to eat. We sat down to eat as a family and that was really nice.
As I was leaving, Mom gave me a big hug and Dad had a worried look on his face. I told them not to worry about me and that I'd be fine, but after I left, I heard my Mom start to cry again. I wish she wouldn't cry. I hate when it's my fault that she's so upset. I've been the reason for so many tears already. I wish there was something I could say to her to make it better. I'm sure Dad will handle it.
I couldn't call Lex last night because it was five in the morning, but I have to call him today. I need to see him. It's been over a week since I've seen him. He's always telling me that he has too much work to do, but that's never stopped him from seeing me before.
~
Was it just a dream?
I woke up in my bed this morning alone. I went to bed with Lex at my side, but he left some time late last night while I was asleep.
I finally managed to see Lex last night. I had called him during school and we made a date to meet in the city. After classes were over, I rushed home and begged Mom to let me go. I told her I hadn't seen Lex in over a week and that I was worried about him. She relented, and I ran upstairs to change into something nicer. I wanted to look good and not embarrass Lex.
Once I got to the city, I found the restaurant right away. Lex was already there and we sat down to have dinner and talk. We didn't really talk about anything in particular. We were in public so I couldn't touch him and I couldn't tell him how much I missed him. I didn't want to talk about what happened with that sand guy. He was acting kind of spacey so after dinner I followed him.
I could not believe where he went. I thought for sure it had to be a mistake, but he'd walked right into the Summerholt Institute, the place that had kept my friend Ryan captive and performed illegal experiments on him. I was devastated. I figured Lex must not remember what Doctor Garner had done to Ryan. I just couldn't believe that Lex would be there.
I followed Lex with my x-ray vision. I wanted to make sure he wasn't being hurt. I had no clue what he was there for. He met with Dr. Garner and they went to this room with this huge tank filled with green water. He was there for some kind of treatment. I watched as Lex was strapped down to a metal stretcher and lowered into the tank. He was in there for a while with only his face above water. These guys in lab coats were monitoring equipment as Lex lay there perfectly still.
After Lex came out I confronted him at his car. He was upset to see me there but I couldn't just leave after seeing where he'd gone. I had to find out why. He hired Garner to retrieve his lost memories. I tried to reason with him. I tried to convince him that it was too dangerous and I told him what they'd done to my friend. Lex remembered Ryan and he was still willing to go to this man. I was so angry, but then Lex went still and he wasn't responding to me at all. I didn't know what to do. There was no way I'd let him drive home in that condition. I couldn't even believe he'd drive at all knowing that he could suddenly go into a trance.
I was so confused. I want Lex to remember everything but I don't want him to be hurt. I know he's an adult and I can't stop him from doing this, but I wish he wouldn't have gone to that man. It's insane.
I managed to get him into his car and decided to drive him home. When he snapped out of his trance almost a half hour later, he told me that this was a side effect of the treatment. I couldn't believe he'd still be doing this treatment if it's doing this to him. That must have been what happened when my dad found him on the side of the road.
Then we pulled over so we could talk. It was really dark. I was so confused, and I wanted to talk Lex out of going back to that place. It turned out he had a memory flash of that Christmas with Bruce at the farm when we were snowed in. That was the time I'd kissed him and he was seeing Bruce back then. He even asked me why I stay with him and I tried to tell him that I love him. I reminded him that he'd stayed with me all last summer no matter what Kal did to him. He never abandoned me and I would never abandon him no matter what.
He looked so sad and confused and upset and all I could think about was how horny I was. I hadn't seen him in so long and we were close for the first time that night, and we hadn't really touched and then suddenly I was kissing him and he was kissing back. I shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't help it. At the time, I thought maybe I could make him see that all he needed was me and nobody else, but I never even got around to saying it because it sounded so lame in my head.
Then he was unzipping my pants and sucking me off and I was in heaven. I didn't want it to end. I wanted it to be that blissful all the time without all the confusion and the world in our way. I sucked him off afterwards and then we cleaned up and continued on to Smallville.
We continued on our way back to the farm and then I remembered the dream I'd had and I asked Lex if I failed him a lot. I couldn't help it. Here he was so screwed up because I'd failed to save him from his father and the shock treatment. If only I'd stayed and not run away. If only I'd made it in time to stop Lionel.
Last night was just so fucked up. Just before we got into town, I pulled over again and we started to talk and then suddenly I was telling Lex everything about what his father had done to him at Belle Reve. I told him about the EST. I told him about how I hadn't made it in time to save him. I told him that Lionel had threatened to hurt him worse if I even talked to Lex about what Lionel had done. I was shaking and I had tears in my eyes. I totally fell apart. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep it to myself. I had to tell Lex what his father had done. I didn't tell Lex about what he'd discovered about his father's past. I just told Lex that his father wanted him to forget things. Maybe I should have.
I feel so drained now just thinking about last night.
When we finally made it back here to the farm, we went up to my room and practically collapsed on my bed. I was tired and so emotionally drained. Then I woke up this morning to find Lex had left in the middle of the night. At first I thought I'd dreamed the whole night, but I hadn't. It all happened and now Lex knows what Lionel did to him.
I feel like I failed Lex all over again.
Mood: scared
~
11:12 pm
Embarrassment, thy name is freak4ever
Why is it always me?
I was sitting up in my loft after having watched Keanu do his thing in My Own Private Idaho. I was just hanging around, looking at a magazine that I'd purchased. It was the kind of magazine with pictures of men doing stuff to other men. I was having a great time when my friend Pete suddenly showed up. I was so intent on what I was doing, (i.e. my hands were practically down my pants) that I didn't know he was there until he asked what I was up to.
I jumped ten feet in the air and flung the magazine as far away as possible so he wouldn't see what I was up to. It sailed over the railing and landed at my mom's feet. She had just come out to ask if we wanted anything to eat or drink. My mom, being the very cool mom that she is, calmly picked it up and walked up the stairs to give it back to me. It's been a long time since I've blushed that hard.
Man. That was so embarrassing.
~
This weekend is off to a decent start
Lex just called. He asked me out on a date. He's taking me out for my birthday on Tuesday. I have no idea what he's going to do. I'm getting excited, thinking about what he has planned. It's a big birthday for me. I'm going to be eighteen. That means I'll be able to vote. Woo Hoo!!!
Now I am going to settle down with some good reading material. I lie. I only look at the pictures. Tomorrow I have to wake up really early and give Mom the day off.
~
Mother's Day and this morning
Dad and I took Mom out for brunch yesterday. It was wonderful. Mom was very happy, and Dad got her beautiful flowers. After we went home, my parents relaxed while I did all the chores. I spent most of the day working. It felt good to just work on one task after another, sweating and straining. Sometimes a day of nothing but chores is exactly what I need to make me feel good.
Then I went for a run. That was so awesome. I tore off my shirt and ran from one end of the field to the other over and over again, tossing a football as high as I could and catching it. Mom and Dad caught me and called me a show-off.
I haven't talked to Lex since he called on Saturday to ask me out on a date. The date is tomorrow! I am very excited. I can't wait to see him and I am going to dress up really nice. I want him to be proud to be with me, and I want everything to be totally perfect. That way, after what he has planned, we can have some hot wild sex, which is what I really want for my present. I really want him to tie me up and fuck me until we both collapse. Or maybe I could tie him up and ride him. I would love to ride him. I can imagine it so easily: me on top of him with his cock deep inside me. I'm still horny a lot, but I try to control myself. The magazines have helped a little.
I stayed out in my loft last night to give Mom and Dad the house to themselves. At least this time nobody interrupted me. I could jerk off in private to my favorite centerfold.
I have to stop thinking about all this stuff because it's making me hard and that can be very uncomfortable. My cock is rubbing up against my underwear. I have gym class right after this study period. All those naked guys! What am I going to do? Maybe I can duck away for a few minutes to jerk off.
Chloe is staring at me funny. We're sitting at our computer desks, supposedly writing essays and doing homework. Obviously I am not doing that right this second. I have the document open and ready, but I haven't written a single word. Actually, I typed "The Middle Ages by Clark Kent", so at least I have the title. It's not very original, but it's all I could come up with. I'll have to do it later when I get home. I've got way too much on my mind.
The thought of what Lex is doing to regain his memories is driving me nuts, but I don't know what to say to him to get him to stop. It scares me that he has these blackout periods. He could be hurt. If I hadn't been there the other night to drive him home, and he had one while he was driving... I don't even want to think about it. I would never forgive myself if he was seriously hurt.
I want to force him to stop, but I don't know if I even have a right to say anything. He lost all those memories and he deserves to get them back. I want him to regain those memories, but I don't want him to be hurt in the process.
Chloe just gave me the "teachers in mirror are closer than they appear" warning. I better go back to pretending to do work.
~
08:44 pm
I couldn't stop him
I begged and pleaded with him, but I couldn't stop Lex from going to see that doctor again.
After school today, Lana stopped by to tell me that last night she'd gone over to the mansion to talk to Lex about the Talon books. She said she found him on a ledge, screaming Julian's name. She said he looked like he was about to jump, and his eyes were open but he when she pulled him down off the ledge, he had no idea where he was or how he got there! When I asked her why she hadn't told me about this at school, she said she thought for sure Lex would have told me himself, but he didn't. I had to go see him at the mansion. That went really badly. He was just about to leave for the city, and he'd been drinking. I pleaded with him not to go. I begged him to find another way to regain his memories, but he wouldn't listen to me.
He'd been drinking, and he planned to drive to the city drunk. I was furious. I couldn't believe he'd consider driving like that. I was also upset that he was still going to go see that man after what had happened to him last night. Lex could have killed himself. I didn't know what else to do. I tried everything, including threatening to destroy all his cars, to stop him from going. Then he asked if I was hiding something about myself. He implied that I was so adamant to stop him from continuing his treatment that maybe I have something to hide that I don't want him remembering. I didn't know what to say to that.
I let him go. I couldn't stop him. He was so bent on making his appointment with Dr. Garner. Maybe I should have gone with him or something. Maybe I should have locked him in his room, but then he'd probably hate me.
I let him go and told him that I'm not hiding anything from him and then I asked him to be careful. I watched as he got into his limo. I hope he doesn't hate me.
To top it all off, Lionel stopped by the loft to talk to me. He was wearing his painful cufflink accessory. It fucking hurt and he stood there watching me as I writhed in agony, telling me that I had better convince Lex to stop his foolish quest for the truth. I hate him so much. I was helpless.
Just before he left, he leaned in close, touched my face and just stared at me. That man is so fucking scary. I can't imagine living with him, let alone growing up with him as a father.
I'd better call Lex. My stomach is in knots thinking about what Lionel might do to him.
~
I went to bed 17 and woke up 18
The subject line says it all. I feel older somehow. Just kidding. I don't feel any different. I still have big hands and huge feet, and now I can vote! Look out world.
My Mom made me all my favorites for breakfast this morning. My parents gave me clothes and a new pair of shoes. Parents always do that, don't they? I like the clothes, especially the flannel shirts. Dad also told me to go get a haircut and that I should probably shave. I joked that all the girls love me all scruffy. He practically hit me and told me to get off my ass and do some work before school. Can you believe that dad made me do chores on my birthday? I didn't mind. It was something he couldn't handle, so I did it and it only took me about three seconds.
Now I'm at school. I'm rushing in to the city after my last class and meeting Lex there. He's taking me out to dinner and then hopefully something more. I can't wait to see him. I'm totally psyched.
~
This year it will be different
09:25 pm
We're in the car, driving back to the farm after having the most delicious meal at a very expensive Italian restaurant in the city. Lex is driving and I am online using the new T-Mobile PDA he gave me for my birthday. I can even post to lj from this thing. It's so cool and has this little keyboard that pops out. It does all kinds of neat stuff.
More later.
~
11:00 pm
More later never happened
Dinner was really great. I went home from school to get dressed up nice. I even wore a nice dark gray shirt with a tie and my nicest pants. I wore a nice jacket. I thought I looked really good.
I met Lex in the city at a really nice Italian restaurant. We ordered dinner and he wished me a happy birthday then he gave me my gift, a really cool T-Mobile PDA that's a nice wine color and it says "For CK on his 18th birthday" in elegant script on the back. It does all kinds of really neat stuff. Mom and Dad gave me this look when I got home with it, but they didn't say anything.
Now I'm sending text messages to everybody I know. I sent Chloe a picture of my toes. She thinks I have mutant toes. Pete sent me a picture of really big boobs. Yuck! I'm tempted to send him cock, but that would be cruel. I could send him a picture and lie and say it's mine. I guess turning 18 didn't mature me any.
Lex and I didn't talk at all about the treatments he's been undergoing. We didn't have sex. We didn't kiss much. Lex was really quiet on the drive back to the farm. Lex apologized a few times for hurting me. It took almost everything in me not to drag him into the house and up to my room and cuddle him until he believes that I love him and want to be with him. I should have dragged him up to my room. Suddenly I feel so alone. Mom and Dad are just a few feet away and Mom just smiled at me. I know they love me, but I want to be with Lex.
I just sent Lex a message with a picture of my face.
~
New toy!
I've been having all kinds of fun with my new toy. The coolest thing is that it's hooked to the net anywhere I go. I can e-mail anybody and send images because it takes pictures. I have to admit that I've kind of been having a lot of fun at all my friends' expenses.
Chloe now has a collection of pictures of my toes. Her response range from "you have monster toes" to "they look like fingers." They are kind of long. Pete thinks I'm totally insane. Lex said ditto when I sent him a picture of some of the art from the back of my notebook.
I almost got caught with it a few times by teachers, but I'm way too fast for them. This is the coolest gift ever.
So, I sent Lex some pictures. One of my toes, one of my hands so he can remember what always grabs him and one of my... I'm not telling.
I need to run or something because I'm feeling really hyper. I wish I could go see Lex, but lately he hasn't really been in the mood to be with me. He's been busy and I'm not part of that agenda.
I better get to work. I have a load of homework to do. I've been so busy playing that I forgot all about it.
~
10:00 pm
Bad day finally ends.
I am so gullible. I totally fell for Lionel's bull about Lex being in more danger than he thought. I came home after school today to find Lionel in the kitchen with Mom. He'd stopped in to talk to me about Lex and this treatment Lex has been going through. I was so angry that Lionel would come to our house and harass my mom. Mom looked so upset that he was there. She was polite enough, but when he wasn't looking her eyes were filled with fury.
After Mom left us alone to talk, Lionel said that Lex was at the institute with Dr. Garner at that very moment and that he feared for Lex's life. As soon as Lionel left, I ran into the city to stop Lex. When I got to the lab and found Garner, Lex hadn't arrived yet. I tried to tell Garner to stop his experiments on Lex, but when I got close to the tank, I lost all my strength. A bunch of lab guys incapacitated me and stripped me naked. Then Lionel showed up. He'd tricked me into going there so that he could use that memory machine on me and find out more about where I come from.
I was too weak from the kryptonite, and I couldn't move or tell him to leave me alone. He stood and examined me, and then he touched my chest. He's such a disgusting man. I got the distinct impression that if we had been alone he would have touched more than just my chest. He had this smug look on his face then he made a crack about the size of my body. He even took Lex's gift from my pants pocket and kept it. Jerk!
Then they put me in these stupid ugly shorts and lowered me into that tank full of Clark-killer juice. It hurt like nothing has ever hurt. I was writhing in agony. They turned the thing on and I remembered something. I remembered my real parents putting me into the ship. I remembered my biological mother, Lara, saying that all she hoped was that somebody on earth would love me. Then Jor-El and Lara held hands as the ship closed and that was all I could remember. My biological mother's name was Lara.
There was an explosion and I heard shouts. I passed out. I don't know how long I was out for, but when I woke up, the tank was smashed and the water was gone. Lex was there to get me out. I was so glad to see him. He took me out of that tank. I could barely move on my own and I had to lean against Lex for support. I didn't even care about anything else but getting out of there. I was glad Lex wanted out of that place as much as I did.
We left and went back to his penthouse. I was cold and weak because that stuff was drying all over my body, and I was still only in the shorts they'd put on me.
Once I was in the shower at Lex's place, I felt so much better as the water washed away the poison. Then Lex undressed and joined me. Without a word, he kissed me passionately and held me tightly in his arms. We made love in the shower and when it was over, I held him and kissed him and told him that I loved him. I felt so satisfied and safe. I wanted to stay there, but Lex said that my parents would probably worry about me and he was right.
After, we cleaned up, Lex loaned me some clothes. Mine had all been destroyed. Lex took them and put them in the trunk of his car. He probably didn't want anybody to know that I'd been at the lab. I ended up having to throw them away. I did salvage my belt but the rest of my stuff was trashed. At least my wallet was still in my pants pocket. Lex did give my PDA back to me. I didn't ask how he got it back from his father.
Lex drove me home. My parents were a little upset when I got back, but I told them I was fine. I guess my mom must have freaked because I left right after Lionel showed up at the house without a word about where I was going. I didn't tell them what happened. It's probably better to keep it to myself. I didn't tell Lex much either. I felt like he already had so much on his mind that I didn't want to add to his burden.
I wanted him to stay with me, but he said he thought that we both should get some rest, and that he'd take care of everything to do with Dr. Garner. But as he was leaving, he went into one of his trances again. He just stood there as I called his name. I wanted to shake him or do something to get him out of the trance. When he finally snapped out it, I told him he should stay here with me, but he said he really needed to be alone. He didn't tell me what he remembered. I wanted to ask, but he looked like he'd seen a ghost. I let it go for now because if Lex wants to tell me about, he knows where I am. I wish he'd stayed. I'm really worried about him.
But he left, and I was by myself. I've spent most of this time thinking about the memory I recovered. I wish I could have known my real mom. If she were here, I could tell her that she didn't need to worry about somebody loving me, because I have Lex and my parents. They love me and I'm so happy to have them in my life.
I just hope Lex is going to be okay.
~
Memories
I told my mom about the memory of my biological mother. She got tears in her eyes, and said Lara was my first word. They never knew what it meant. They thought it was some word from my native language. It's my biological mom's name. She was so beautiful and she loved me so much. Even though I barely knew her, I miss her. I wish I had known her. I was just a little baby when they put me in the ship that brought me here.
I wish there were some way of letting them know that I'm okay. I think I'm going to spend the weekend with my parents. I haven't talked to Lex since last night, but I think it's probably better to give him time. I know he'll come to me when he's ready. I'm just happy this whole thing is over. I hope Lex found what he was looking for. The next time I see his father, I'm going to tell him to shove it up his ass. I'll probably be way more polite than that, but I seriously do not want that man anywhere near me. I'll have to talk to Lex about the fact that his dad's figured out about my reaction to the meteor rocks and that he wants to know where I come from. I'm going to guess that Lex will blow a gasket at that news. I wish there was some way I could help Lex with this one, but I know it's something he can handle. I guess all I can do is be there for him.
~
My weekend
It was quiet and uneventful. I hung out with my parents at home, did a lot of chores and even managed to finish a few projects that Dad's been bugging me to finish. On Saturday night I went to a movie with Chloe, Lana and Pete. I joked that Pete was my date. He didn't find it that amusing, especially when I slung my arm over the back of his seat and pretended to cuddle with him. I thought it was hysterical. The look on his face was worth the price of admission. I am a total sh*t-disturber. Pete laughed about it afterwards.
It was nice to hang out with Lana and Chloe again. Things between them seem to be going really well.
Sunday I did some more chores, then homework because the evil finals are coming. I've made a date with my friends to study for them all this week, so I'm probably going to be really busy for the next little while. Mom and Dad have once again warned that I am to get good grades or else. I'm not sure what the or else is, but I'm willing to bet they'll think up something.
I haven't talked to Lex in a few days. He still hasn't called. I'm giving him space. I'm sure he's been busy with stuff. Hopefully he'll call me soon. In the mean time, I better get my ass in gear. I have to meet Chloe to talk about the next edition of the Torch.
~
I redefine 'desperate to get some'
I flew to Gotham. When I say flew, I mean flew under my power, without a plane, without a helicopter. I just took off from the ground and flew and it took less than five minutes to get there.
Lex took off on Friday. He left a message on my cell. He just took off, saying he had business to take care of that would take him out of town for the weekend. At first I was fine with that. Lex is a busy guy. He has a company to run. Then on Saturday Chloe showed me a picture that totally pissed me off.
It turned out that he was in Gotham. Lex couldn't tell me this. I had to find out from Chloe who showed me a picture from the paper of Lex and Bruce together. I wasn't jealous. Nope, not at all. I know I don't have a reason to be, but why couldn't Lex tell me that he was going to be with Bruce? Why did he feel he had to hide this from me?
I really wasn't that upset. I was a little bit angry that he felt he couldn't tell me where he'd be. Lex finally answered his cell phone after all my calls had gone straight to voice mail. I only called him a few times to let him know that I was here for him and to tell him to call me back as soon as he could. When I finally talked to him, he told me where he was. I was cool with that. He was staying at a hotel and not Wayne Manor. I asked how Bruce and Dick were doing. Everything was cool, until I walked out to the middle of the driveway and took off into the air. It took me a while to convince myself that I could do it. I was afraid, but I had to go see Lex. I had to. I missed him after everything that had happened with that stupid lab and we hadn't spent much time together since. I was giving Lex space. Then he left without any warning. I had to see him!
So I took off, with my parents yelling at me to come back. Like I could come back after taking flight. It wasn't that simple once I was airborne. I was too scared after I left the ground to attempt to turn back and go home, and I think I was going way too fast at first because I was above the clouds and seeing stars seconds after lift-off. There was frost on my fingers. I sort of floated there, staring down at the earth. It looked so peaceful and beautiful from up there. I turned and aimed for Gotham. I think I aimed. I'm not really sure how I did it. I listened for Lex.
I found him. I landed someplace private and ran the rest of the way to the hotel he said he was staying. When I got there, the hotel guard wouldn't let me go up to Lex's room. I'd forgotten my wallet and I had no ID on me. I called up to Lex's room and he came and got me. It was sort of a shock since I'd been talking to him just a few minutes earlier.
We went up to Lex's room and when I told him I kind of flew to him, he wasn't pleased. I told him I had to see him and that I was desperate. Then I kissed him and ripped all his clothes off and fucked him in the hotel bed. After that, he was totally cool with me flying to see him. Not that he was really all that coherent. We cleaned up and settled in for the night since I was already there. It felt so amazing to fall asleep beside Lex.
The next morning, we had sex again and it was amazing. I sucked him off and then I fucked him. This time it was slow and gentle and more romantic. I didn't have to tear off his clothes because he was already naked. After we showered, I called my parents to let them know I was in Gotham. I should have probably called them the night before, but I was kind of distracted.
We flew back to the city yesterday. This time it was in Lex's private plane. We had sex on the plane twice. I'm still horny even after all that sex, but at least it's manageable. We went back to the mansion first so Lex could drop off all his stuff and I sort of distracted him up in his bedroom with sex. I tried to tell Lex what flying was like. It's so hard to describe. I even suggested that maybe some time I could take him flying.
After we cleaned up, I ate something because I was starved from everything that had happened and I'd forgotten to eat the last few days. Then Lex drove me home.
My parents are a little freaked out about what happened. They saw me take off. I told them I was very careful. I landed someplace very remote where nobody saw me, and I ran fast enough that nobody could see me at all. Lex talked to them and reassured them that I was very careful. Dad had a long talk with me this morning. He said they were just freaked out because I was there then suddenly I wasn't and they were knocked over by the wind I created.
I didn't mean to freak them out. I asked how upset my mom was on scale of one to ten. Dad said about 15. Pete thought it was the coolest thing ever, and made me tell every single detail about what it was like to fly. I left out the details about Lex.
I flew! I flew again.
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