Nothing new to report
Things haven't changed much in the past week. I got laid but that's about the only exciting thing that happened to me.
I'm trying really hard to keep busy. I swear I'm being a good boy. I'm giving Lex all the room he has asked for. It's driving me crazy! I
want to rush over to him all the time. I want to be there to help him get through all this. The other night when we did it, I felt weird
afterwards. I couldn't figure it out at the time, and even though I've had all this time to think about it, I still can't put my finger on
what it was.
I just feel so helpless. I wish there was something more I could do.
Is there a mood theme for stir-crazy? I'm growing my hair again. It looks pretty cool. I haven't shaved for a few days. I think it looks
cool. It makes me look older, but Dad doesn't like it.
"Son, you're looking a bit scruffy there. Maybe you should shave." Only said with a really authoritative voice.
Okay, that works way better if you're actually here to see the impersonation.
~
I haven't done one of these in a while
Dad bugged me again this morning about my hair and my scruffy look. It's not even that bad. I like it, but I didn't say anything. I just kept working.
~
Crap!
My class is going on a tour of Mr. Big's business on Monday. This sucks. The teacher was all excited about the fact
that Mr. Big himself would probably be making an appearance probably so he can throw all of us out a window.
After careful consideration, and with the help of that poll people filled out, I've decided to grow my hair. My Dad made me shave this
morning. He didn't so much make me shave as hassled me until I shaved. Hassled, pestered, badgered, bullied, take your pick. It was really
annoying, so I gave in and shaved, but I told him the hair stays. He was fine with that, sort of. He kept giving me these looks until I
threatened to grow it down to my ass crack. That didn't stop the looks but at least he won't bother me anymore. Mom said I look very nice. I
totally gloated when she said that at the dinner table. Dad almost said something about me looking gay. I don't think I look gay. Nobody has
ever said that to me. Not even people who know me.
Do you think I look gay?
Dinner was interesting and kind of fun with Dad acting like I was breaking a state law with my long hair. It's barely a few inches long! I
can't wait to see what happens in a few months when I really don't cut it. I plan to grow it as long as possible. Maybe I will grow it down
to my ass crack. That would be a nice change. Plus my dad would blow a gasket. Should be fun. You should know, I almost never disobey Dad.
He's always right. He knows best. He's the one who makes the decisions in this family. That kind of stuff.
Seriously, I'm mostly joking, but it's only hair. I can't believe he's being this way about it.
I was hoping Lex would fill out my poll, but he didn't. I haven't heard from him in a few days. I think he went into the city. I look
forward to seeing him again. Maybe he'll be there when my class goes on that stupid trip.
Back to work. I have a major paper to write. It's going to be totally boring.
~
That was not exactly how I thought things would go.
Somebody from school saw me use my abilities. I didn't have a choice. My class went to the city for the LuthorCorp
economics field trip. Lionel was annoying as usual. He made this speech about how he thinks you should do everything in your power when
running a business to make sure you make as much money as possible. He's such a fucking jerk! All I kept envisioning was him telling the
doctor to shock Lex.
That wasn't really the highlight of the day. There was this accident where I was in the elevator with this guy from class. He always keeps
to himself so I don't really know him that well. This guy, Alec, can teleport! Alec and I were in the elevator together because the tour
guide didn't like my lack of respect for Mr. Luthor. The elevator started plummeting to the bottom floor so I burned the security camera
with my eyes. Then I shoved my arm through the wall and grabbed something to stop our descent. That did the trick, but then people started
trying to break in to get to us and I was so scared. I begged Alec not to say anything to anybody. Alec looked so terrified at first but
then he touched my shoulder and suddenly we were not in the elevator. We were outside of it and safe. He asked me to keep his secret so I
did. I didn't say a word to anybody about how we escaped. I told the tour guide we had just stepped out of the elevator before it started to
fall.
I didn't get a chance to talk to him after it all happened. We were both pulled aside and asked all kinds of questions, so we didn't finish
the tour with the class. I thought for sure they'd end it and send us home, but they didn't. I guess that's what Lionel meant by getting
things done at all costs.
I wonder how long he's had this ability and how he's able to do it. It's kind of cool. Imagine being able to vanish from one spot and then
reappear someplace else. I can run really fast, but this felt different.
That was more than enough excitement for one day. I'm still terrified Alec will say something. So far nobody has come to cart me away to a
lab so I guess he didn't breathe a word of it to anybody.
I didn't tell my parents about what happened. They heard about the accident and I reassured them I wasn't anywhere nearby when the elevator
fell.
I did some research into him. He keeps mostly to himself, but he seems to be a really nice guy. He's lived here all his life. He is really
gorgeous. He has long blond hair, blue eyes and the cutest smile. He's not built like me -- all huge and clumsy. He's shorter than me and
slim. A lot of people think he's a freak so they stay away from him, but I think it's time I get to know him better, especially if he's like
me. Not only does he have an ability that he hides, but I'd heard the rumor that he likes guys. Not that I'd do anything about it, but it
would be nice to talk to somebody who knew where I was coming from.
~
This is so cool!
I just ran into Alec in the hallway on the way into morning classes. We're going to a movie together tonight to talk
about our differences and not just about how he can teleport.
It turns out he has his ability because of the meteor shower. He said it changed him and made it so he can jump from place to place in the
blink of an eye. He said that it's all complicated science stuff. I believe him! He's a total science geek, but he really does not look like
a geek. I even told him about my LJ.
Lex didn't show up at the loft last night. I hope he's okay. I tried to call him this morning, but it went straight to voicemail.
~
10:03 pm
I almost kissed him!
Alec and I went to the movies and had a great time. It was so nice to get out and do something for a change. He's so
great and he is gay. He used to date a guy but he said once his ex found out about his ability, he freaked and broke it off with him. That's
too bad.
I know I shouldn't have almost kissed him, but I was so happy and I haven't felt that way in a while. Things with Lex have been so
upside-down and crazy. Lex forgot so much and I thought I could handle it, but maybe I was wrong.
Alec knows about my abilities and he's not freaked out about it. He thinks it's cool. I even told him about the heat vision and he was cool
about it. I was kind of forced to because he saw me fry the camera in the elevator. He really liked my telescope. Everybody always thinks
I'm a geek for having it, but he thought it was cool. We did some stargazing together and it was so nice and relaxed. It almost really did
feel like a date. Alec called it a date, but I insisted that it wasn't that at all. He seemed to be cool with that.
We talked about so many things: about growing up in this crazy town, about what it's like to have strict parents. We have so much in command
and the fact that he's gay is a nice change. He seems to get me. Then I drove him home even though he could easily have just teleported
himself there. I have to admit, I didn't want the night to end. That was when I almost kissed him, but I didn't do it. I stopped myself.
I had such a great time. I couldn't tell Alec that I was already seeing somebody because then I'd have to tell him who I'm seeing. That
would be bad since everybody in town knows who Lex is. I wish I could have been honest with Alec. I'm just happy to have a new friend I can
talk to.
~
He showed up in my bed late last night!
And I was totally powerless to stop him. I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about Alec, the almost-kiss, and Lex
and how things have been between us lately. Then suddenly I wasn't alone in bed. Alec was there in nothing but white briefs and he looked so
hot! He wanted me and he wasn't pushing me away. He climbed into my bed and into my lap and begged me to kiss him. And suddenly I was so
hard. He kissed me and I kissed him back. I couldn't help it. He was sitting right on my cock and grinding against me and he was hard and I
could see that he was already wet. I grabbed hold of his hips and wanted to do things to him. I almost did. We were kissing and he was
touching me, and telling me he wanted me. Then suddenly my Dad was in my room. I'd knocked over my alarm clock and the noise woke Dad up.
Dad ordered me downstairs and once he was out of my room, Alec kissed me goodbye and teleported home. I put on some clothes and went
downstairs to explain the situation to my parents. I was terrified because how was I supposed to tell them why there was a strange guy in my
bed almost impaled on my dick.
Dad was not impressed at all. My parents freaked when I told them that he knew about my abilities. I had to tell them about what happened in
the elevator and how I had no choice but to use my strength in front of Alec. Dad was so furious. He wanted to know if I'd spilled all my
secrets to Alec, including my weakness to the meteor rocks. That was so insulting. I'm not that stupid!
I tried to explain how it felt to finally have somebody who understood what it meant to hide not only a huge secret like our abilities but
also our sexual preference, but I don't think my parents got it. I know Mom tried, but Dad wasn't even willing to try to get where I was
coming from.
After I went back up to my room, I couldn't get back to sleep until I jerked off. I really did try to think about Lex when I did it, but
Alec kept popping into my mind. I couldn't help but imagine what would have happened if we hadn't been interrupted.
I feel so guilty for thinking that, but I couldn't help it. At least nothing more than kissing happened. I can fantasize. I know that's
something that wouldn't bother Lex. I didn't tell Lex about the accident at LuthorCorp. I can keep this to myself. Alec was just excited and
I don't want him to get into trouble just for that. Maybe if I try to explain that to Lex he'll understand.
~
10:05 pm
This is not good
When I went to get my book from my locker this morning, Alec was there waiting for me. He tried to kiss me right there
in the hall! I pulled him off of me before anybody could see and tried to tell him that we are just friends, but he said that there was no
way I would have kissed him and touched him the way I did last night if we were just friends.
Every time I saw him in the hallway or in classes, he tried to get my attention and in economics class we're doing a project together, so we
had to sit together, and at one point he touched my knee under the desk. After class, I pulled him aside and told him that he knows I'm not
out and that I want it to stay that way. He understood that for sure.
I pulled him into a bathroom and tried to reason with him. I told him that even if we were to date, we'd have to get to know each other
first before we did anything. Of course he brought up last night and told me that we have to date because we're the same and we understand
each other. I pleaded with him to understand this just isn't the right way to go about building a friendship with me. I hope I finally got
through to him.
I tried to avoid him for the rest of the day. When I got home from school, I found a framed picture of Alec in my loft. Then Alec was
suddenly there, telling me that he missed me. I told him my parents were really upset about what he did. When I tried to reason with him, he
vanished.
I just hope he doesn't pop in on me again tonight. If it gets worse I might have to talk to Lex about this.
Fuck! I really have to stop thinking with my dick! Must use head next time and not think about getting head. Great! Now I'm thinking about
Lex giving me head.
I just tried to call Lex. It went to voicemail! I can never seem to get a hold of him.
~
I have this problem
I met this guy, and everything seemed cool. We have a lot in common. We clicked right away. It was really nice to
finally make friends with somebody who not only knew what I was going through, but also knows what being in the closet is like, especially
in a small town. Then something happened and he suddenly thinks we're dating. I can't tell him about who I'm dating.
I'm not sure what else to do. I've tried to tell this guy that we are just friends, but he's not taking no for an answer. He's kind of hard
to pin down and hard to stop. I really tried hard to let him down easy and not hurt his feelings. Maybe I should just be blunt with him
since he's not taking no for an answer.
This week started off so well.
~
Big happy sigh
All is better now. I just spent the afternoon in Lex's bed, performing one lewd sex act after another and the best part
is I was doing it with Lex.
I guess I should start at the beginning. I stopped by Alec's place just before school to talk to his parents about him. They told me that
his weakness is lead. They warned me that he was a bit unstable. Now they tell me! So I devised a plan to trap him, only he somehow found
out about my weakness to the meteor rock and trapped me instead. He also knew about Lex and was determined to make sure I understood Lex
wasn't good enough for me.
He went to the mansion and tried to kill Lex. I was so panicked that I wouldn't make it in time, but I managed to get away from the rock.
Just as I arrived, Alec had a knife right at Lex's throat and he was going to cut him. Luckily, I stopped him in time and Lex only suffered
a shallow cut on his arm. We had to take Alec out into the hallway because when I got there, Lex and Alec were in the room where Lex keeps
all the stuff about me.
Once the police took Alec away and I answered all their questions, Lex and I had a long talk. I told him everything about my heritage. I
told him that I'm an alien. It was a lot easier this time around. Lex seemed to take it okay. Then he suggested that maybe I'm too young and
he's too old (like a few years really matter to me), for us to be so serious. He thought maybe I'd rather date somebody my own age. I told
him that I loved him way too much to give him up. He was very cool with that.
We had hot sex on the floor of his obsession room. Then we went up to his bedroom and did it again a few more times just to be sure. I
showed him how much I love him with my tongue, lips, teeth, hands, mouth and cock. Then I told him with words.
I should have come with instructions: suck, fuck and repeat until unconscious.
I hope he's really okay with my secret. Alec said that I can't trust Lex not to hurt me, but I know I can trust Lex. I know we'll be able to
work through everything. I really hope Lex starts to remember, but even if he never does, I can remember for the both of us. I should
totally tell him that red Ferrari is mine. He won't remember if it really isn't.
I better go get ready. Lex is coming over for dinner tonight.
~
Best weekend ever
I'm still walking on cloud nine.
I spent Saturday night over at the mansion with Lex. We had dinner, then we played some pool, a few games of chess, that I "lost", and then
we had some other kinds of fun, the kind that takes place in a bedroom with a bed, pillows, soft sheets (that I ripped) and lots of
lubricant. It was so nice to relax and not have to worry about stuff, like a stalker.
I still can't believe what happened. I can admit here that I wasn't 100 percent truthful about what happened with that guy, Alec. I didn't
lead him on, but he mistook my friendliness to mean he should give me a lap dance in my bedroom. The only thing that happened between us was
a kiss and a little groping (mostly on his part). Luckily, Lex isn't the type to exterminate somebody just for touching me. Ha ha -- just
kidding. I knew that already, although I haven't seen Alec since he was taken away by doctors. Hmmm.
I told Lex all about it and he forgave me. I wasn't sure what to do or think about everything. I mean, I have a normal reaction to somebody
I find attractive, and I did find Alec attractive. At least I did until he tried to kill my boyfriend. I draw the line at that. I thought I
could handle it, but everything spun out of control so fast and before I knew it, Alec had turned from a seemingly nice guy to a crazy
person.
I wasn't even going to talk about this. I guess I had to get it off my chest.
I have to get to class. More later.
~
11:08 pm
This can't be happening!
I'm always so careful, but this time, I hurt Lex during sex!
He's leaving tomorrow for Europe on a business trip with his dad. He'll be gone for a week. I went over to the mansion after school to spend
some time with him. It wasn't long (okay, I jumped him and almost tore his clothes off in his office) before we went up to his room and
started making out.
When I felt his tongue on my cock, I practically begged him to suck me off. I came and it felt so awesome, and then he was on me and he
topped me. He was thrusting into me and it was so incredible. I held onto his shoulders and now he's all bruised and tender. I've never done
that before. I was just so excited and caught up in the moment. He was in me and it felt so good.
He said he's okay, but the bruises looked bad. His hips and shoulders were already starting to look all black and blue by the time I left!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! And he's going away for a week and I won't see him and now this happens.
I shouldn't have held onto him. I should have held the bed or something else. The sheets! I could have held the sheets. At least if they rip
then nobody gets hurt. I was just so excited and it's been so long since he's topped and he felt so amazing inside me. The look in his eyes,
and I was coming and I lost control. I should have stayed with him tonight. My parents told me I couldn't because tomorrow I still have to
go to school even though spring break starts this weekend.
I was really surprised that Lex topped me. It must be because he doesn't remember that I usually top him. It would have been such a perfect
night if it hadn't been for the fact that I held on too tightly. Lex said he was okay, but he flinched when I touched his bruised shoulder.
He tried to hide it, but I saw.
~
Here I am...
... all alone sitting in my loft. Homework finished, chores done, and cookies eaten. I spent the day hanging with my
best friend, Pete. We went out to a movie, and then we stopped off at the mall in the next town over and just walked around. We basically
did nothing but hang out. At least we had his car. That made things so much better.
We stopped off at the Talon for a coffee on the way back. Lana was there. We talked. She said her therapy is coming along great. She's still
limping with a cane. She didn't look any better to me, but what do I know?
After Pete and I left the Talon, we came back to my loft and settled in for some guy talk stuff. Not that Pete wanted to hear this, but I
told him I'm seeing somebody, and that it's a guy and that we do that kind of stuff together. That was when Pete looked at his watch and
realized that he needed to be home fast. Needless to say, he didn't stick around for details. I wasn't about to reveal any. I just needed
somebody to talk to about what happened with Lex, and going to my parents about my sex life (the one that involves Lex and me doing things
together) is just something I can't do. I almost did. I was ready to talk to my Mom about it last night but then she looked at me with her
Mom eyes and I couldn't. There is no way in heck I am ever going to Dad about this.
I'll have to come at this from another angle. I mean, how do I talk to Mom about what happened the other night with Lex? Pete is the only
option. It's easier to talk to him, and he already knows my secret, so I'm hoping he'll stick around long enough to hear me out. I'll try
again tomorrow.
I just have to figure out how to word this:
"So, Pete, the other day Lex and I were fucking and I broke him."
"Hey, Pete. What do you think is the best way for somebody like me who's so strong he can lift the tractor to not damage the sex toy?"
Nope that won't work at all. I have to find the right words. I don't want to lose control again and hurt Lex like that.
Lex hasn't called or anything since he left for his business trip. I can't call him because I have no contact number. It's only been a few
days. I can hold out. I can jerk off. I actually haven't done it yet, since I've been too preoccupied. Maybe if I keep myself really busy
with work, I won't even think about sex. I won't think about Lex naked beneath me with his muscular arms around me and his legs spread wide
and his hand on my cock, stroking me, and his sexy voice urging me to come in his hand and make a big mess. He'd kiss me gently at first,
and then tease my mouth open with his wet tongue. He'd say my name, only not Clark; he'd say Kal, my real name, really low in his throat and
tell me to fuck him.
I have to go right now.
~
I finally did it
Last night, Pete came over to play some ball and hang. I got him to sit still long enough to talk about my problem. I
only said that I am seeing somebody. I didn't give details. I didn't tell him who I was seeing. He guessed. He asked if the person I'm
seeing was somebody who lives in a huge mansion and owns a million cars. I couldn't deny it. Pete said he'd been thinking about it since I
told him the other day that I wasn't single. He realized the only guy I spend more time with than him (and he's pretty sure we're not
dating) is Lex.
So now Pete knows about Lex. I made him understand that Lex and I are serious, and that Pete really needs to be as discreet about that as he
is about my secret. He thinks I'm totally insane to want to go near somebody as nasty as Luthor. Pete's never liked Lex. He even tried to
kill him once, though he doesn't really remember that. Come to think of it, maybe he's tried to kill Lex a few times.
I tried to tell Pete that Lex is really good to me, but he didn't want to know any more about my relationship with 'that snake'. I have to
admit that I find it really irritating that he still talks about Lex that way even though Lex has done so much good for the community. He
even paid all of Lana's hospital bills!
I let Pete know that my parents know all about my relationship with Lex and that they are cool with it. He couldn't believe that my Dad was
cool with it. I didn't elaborate about how long it took Dad to come around to my way of thinking, but dad really is cool with it.
Anyway, so Pete didn't have any suggestions other than to keep my hands off of Lex. I told him that was not an option. Then Pete and I had a
little fight. He let me have it. He told me I was insane and that Luthor is way too old for me and that I am way too young and how Lex could
get into major trouble if anybody knew about us. I was so pissed off. I didn't mean to threaten Pete, but I guess that was how it came out.
I told him that I would know who spilled if it was to get out about Lex and me. He said it was so obvious that I had a thing for Lex that he
was surprised the rest of the town didn't notice.
I never thought it was obvious, but Pete said that ever since Lex came to town, I've mooned over him and followed Lex around like he was
some movie star. Pete always thought it was because Lex was so different from the people I was used to, and that it would eventually wear
off. He knew I liked Lex but not this much. Pete really let me have it.
He left angry and now he's not talking to me at all. I tried to call him but his mom said he was too busy to come to the phone. I had better
give him some time to cool off. This just totally sucks. I don't want to fight with Pete. I hardly have any friends as it is, and Pete's
always been there for me.
Maybe Pete wasn't the best person to go to about my problem.
Dad and I are going into town. I had better talk to him about what Pete learned. I really need his advice right now. I can't talk to Lex
because he's unavailable and won't be back until some time next week. I can't wait to see him again. I miss him something fierce.
~
I figured out what to do
I've been experimenting with slivers of green Kryptonite. I was hoping I could somehow bring a piece into bed with me
when I'm with Lex. I found a small lead box that I can easily carry in my pocket. It blocks the effects of the meteor rock until I open the
box and expose myself to the stone.
Pete helped me out. Things between us are cool again. He just needed time to wrap his head around the fact that I'm dating Lex. He found a
rock and broke a small piece off that I can experiment with. He was totally against it but I convinced him that I really need to do this.
I discovered that the pain isn't that bad if the piece is small enough. The only problem is, after a while I really start to feel horrible.
I want to feel weak, not horrible. I want to be like Lex instead of so strong I leave bruises all over him. I don't want to hurt him again.
I'm going to keep experimenting. So far, I can stand to be close to the small piece for fifteen minutes before my insides feel like they're
going to fall out. Maybe I can develop a tolerance to the rock. It's worth a try. I can't hurt him again. I don't want to. I try so hard to
control my body, but sometimes I get so excited.
My plan is to somehow get the box out and hide it where Lex can't find it. Then hopefully go from there. Pete thinks it's a stupid plan. His
suggestion was that I stop doing it with Luthor. He was trying to be funny, but that was the last thing I needed to hear. I still haven't
been able to talk to my parents about it. I just can't do it.
~
Lex is back
I went over to the mansion after school to say hi to Lex and welcome him back from his trip. We started to make out on
the sofa in his office and everything was going great. I felt so amazing. Then I forgot myself for a second and squeezed his leg too hard. I
probably bruised him. He flinched so he must have felt it. I didn't stick around to find out. I panicked and said I needed to get home to do
stuff.
I feel all anxious now because I sort of suddenly took off on him.
Now Dad knows about all this. Later in the day, when we were working together on some repairs, Dad asked me what was wrong. I wasn't sure
what he meant until he said that I'd avoided touching him all day. We sat down and had a talk. I didn't give details. I told him about today
and how I'd been so excited to see Lex again after he'd been away that I hurt him.
Dad tried to tell me that it was just an accident and that I was probably overthinking it. Maybe. All I know is that I don't want to hurt
Lex again. I'm carrying the box with me all the time just in case. I exposed myself again to the rock this time for twenty minutes. I moved
closer to the rock and then farther away to see if distance would have any kind of effect. It didn't really seem to make a difference. It
hurt about the same at any distance. I can get used to it. I have to. I can't think of any other way to do this.
I'm going to experiment some more before I take a shower and go to bed. I feel too wired to go to bed right now.
best viewed at 1024x768.
Disclaimer: Smallville is owned by DC Comics.