09:37 am
We did it
We saved the day, thanks to Lex, and managed to stop Leviathan. Lex called me yesterday to give me all the information on the project. His dad was behind the whole thing. When I went to tell Arthur that he'd been totally wrong about Lex, I couldn't find him anywhere, so I went to the lab that Lex told me about. AC was there strapped down. He said Lionel had captured him and tried to torture him by withholding water. AC can't survive without it. Every time I discover somebody who's different, I don't feel as alone.
I freed him and together we went to stop the demonstration. We stopped the project. I used the information Lex gave me to circumvent the security and we trashed the thing beyond repair. I crushed it completely. I loved it. I feel so good about what we did.
Once we were done we went back to the Talon. AC was apologetic for blaming Lex. I told him that maybe next time he shouldn't jump to conclusions until he has all the facts. He told me to never stop being a boy scout. He left after he said goodbye to Lois. I was hoping he'd stay longer, and we could get to know each other better. I'm really glad I met him.
I went over to see Lex later in the evening. He was still working in his office, completely distracted by Leviathan. I told him that we stopped it and he said he knew. He kept track of what happened to be sure that I was not linked in any way that his dad would find out. I worried that his dad will somehow link Lex to it, but Lex said he can handle anything that comes his way.
We went up to his room and I stripped him naked. He made jokes about getting me a costume with tights and a cape. I distracted him by getting naked. After that, we didn't say much else. I licked Lex all over and gave him the best blow job ever.
I have the prom to get ready for today. I'm kind of looking forward to it. I plan to have lots of fun.
~
04:42 pm
My senior prom.
Everything was almost perfect. I didn't win prom king, but Chloe won prom queen. We were all very proud of her. I went over to the mansion before I picked Lois up for the big night. Lex tied my bowtie for me, since I have huge, clumsy hands that always seem to mangle the things. I wore a black tuxedo of course, and when I stared into Lex's eyes at that moment I wanted to throw caution to the wind and walk into my prom with him on my arm. I wanted to walk into the middle of the dance floor and kiss him right in front of the whole town. I wanted to declare who my true love was, but I knew I couldn't.
Instead, I kissed Lex. At first it was gentle and slow. When he slid his arms around my neck to pull me into a toe-curling kiss, I wanted to stay with him forever. I did go. I picked Lois up at her place. She looked great in her dress. All the girls looked great. We danced and had fun. My parents were there as chaperones. Lois behaved and we took pictures. It was a really great time and I'm really glad I went. I had so much fun. Lois actually told me that I was the best date she's had in a long time. That was very flattering coming from her.
Once I made sure Lois was okay, I left at 11 to go to the mansion and spent the night with Lex. We went up to his room and had the best night ever. He removed the bowtie that he'd just tied only hours before and pulled me close to him. I was so hard by that time, because he is such a tease, that I almost came on the spot. Then he kissed me and told me in great detail how he would take me and make me his. I got down on my knees and sucked him off. Then he we took each other's clothes off and got into bed. I wasn't in a hurry and we had all night. It was the best prom night ever.
Now I'm lounging around in the loft, dreaming that Lex is here with me.
~
08:38 pm
Exams over
I had my last exam and it's over. High school isn't officially over, but it may as well be. My graduation ceremony is on the fifteenth. I was so excited because we were fitted for our cap and gowns today, so I went to talk to Lex about what he had planned for after. I was surprised to find Lana at the mansion. She and Lex were arguing when I first arrived. They stopped as soon as I entered the room. When I asked what was up, Lana said that everything was fine. She didn't look fine. She looked really angry and frustrated. Then she said she was leaving anyway and stormed out. I followed her to her car to see if she was going to be okay. She told me it wasn't my business and drove away. I don't think I've seen her that angry in a long time.
When I went back inside to talk to Lex, he was having a drink. He refused to elaborate on what the argument had been about. When I pushed he said it was nothing that I needed to worry about. I suggested a game of pool because Lex looked a little stressed and I thought maybe it would relax him. It worked. He almost won the first game but when he bent over the table to make his winning shot, I cheated and pinched his ass. He jumped and I pinned him against the table and kissed him. After that, we had some fun. This time we left the table out of it.
Lex is coming to my graduation. He says he wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. I can't wait. I am so excited. Maybe we could come out. I'm nineteen now. We could hold hands or something. I could just imagine the looks of horror on people's faces when they find out. It's not like anybody could say anything worse than they've already said.
~
05:22 pm
I just want to be me
I have to hide so much of my life from the world, but why should I have to hide the fact that I love Lex? I talked to my parents this morning about hiding the truth about my relationship with Lex. Dad was against coming out, and Mom thinks it's probably best to leave things as they are. I get that they worry about me. I get that they don't want me to be hurt and they're always worried about people digging deeper into my past. They're afraid of what reporters would write about in the papers. Dad argued that Lex is a public figure and that reporters wouldn't hesitate to write all sorts of nasty stories. I pointed out that it wouldn't be forever. They'd move on to the next story eventually. I'm just a farmboy from Kansas. I've got a boring life. How much interest would there be? It was so frustrating trying to convince them that it wouldn't be a bad idea.
I went to the mansion right after my last class to talk to Lex. He was in his office working. I brought up the subject of us going public about our relationship. Before he could say anything I told him all the reasons why it would be a good idea. I reminded him that I'm nineteen and that people already know I'm gay. I said we didn't have to make a big deal out of it. We could just start holding hands or something. I told him I didn't want to hide it anymore.
I never thought Lex and my Dad would agree on something. He said it wasn't a good idea and that he wants me to have a normal college life. He doesn't want my name in the tabloids and he doesn't want reporters camped outside my door. I told him I was ready to deal with that stuff, but he said I wasn't. He insisted that I had no clue what being in the public eye entailed. Sure I've never had an article written about me by the tabloids, but I told Lex I was ready for something like that. I argued that eventually they would go away. He pulled out a paper from last week that had a story about his family on the cover and said that it never goes away.
It was frustrating, but eventually I got tired of trying to convince Lex that we could go public. Lex countered every single point I made. Then he told me that I'm too young to know what's best at this stage in my life. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was furious inside. I told him I needed to get home. I pretended it didn't bother me to hear him say those words, but after I'd rushed home and I was up in the loft alone, I realized just how much it upset me. I didn't care about any of the other excuses Lex or my parents used. They didn't hurt, but being told by Lex that I'm too young did.
When I did the chores with dad, I reassured him that Lex and I wouldn't be coming out any time soon. I told him that he and Lex were in agreement on the subject. He was glad that Lex had put some sense into me, and he even said that I should invite Lex over to dinner some time. Dad said I should be happy for what I have and I guess he's right.
At least I don't have to hide it when I write in here. I know he's right. I should be happy that the people who matter to me most know the truth. I should be happy that my family loves me just the way I am, but there's a part of me that wishes I could just be myself all the time.
~
07:06 am
Nightmares
I had a nightmare last night. I was flying over a white expanse. There was nothing for miles around and then there was ice everywhere below me. It was the fortress, and I could hear the voice of my father Jor-El, in my head. He was telling me to come home and fulfill my destiny. Then I woke up and Lois was hovering over me. She said I woke her up. She said I was calling out incoherent babble. It was three in the morning when this happened. She said she couldn't sleep so we went downstairs to make some tea. Lois has to leave after my graduation ceremony because her dad called to tell her that she has to go get her sister Lucy, who ran away from her school in Paris.
I know I promised the fortress that I would return, but I've been so busy and I was too afraid to go back to that cold place. It's so harsh and lifeless. I don't want to go there. I want to just be me.
11:11 am
Today I graduate
Chloe should be on my side. This is totally not fair. I thought she of all people would understand why I want to come out about Lex, but she agreed for all the same reasons as my parents and Lex. She said as a reporter, she would think that Lex Luthor shacking up with a Kansas farmboy would be the story of the century. We're not even shacked up. For us to be shacked up we'd have to be living in the same building and since we're not, it's technically not accurate. Chloe even asked if she could have the exclusive when we went public. She totally sucks.
I'm sitting in my room staring at the suit I'm going to wear to my graduation. It's today. I'm officially done with high school and after today, I will be a graduate. I'm going to have to go out into the world and be a grownup, sort of. It's a whole new world for me. I can't wait.
~
02:21 pm
Grand gifts
Last night, Lex took me out to our favorite stargazing spot on the pretense that we'd be looking at stars, but when we got there, I discovered it wasn't just about looking at stars. It was about my graduation gift. This time, I am not giving it back. Lex got me the most awesome truck ever. It big and red and has a fast engine.
We had to christen my new truck so we made out for a while. It was peaceful and serene. I don't know that I'll get moments like this when I move to the city to go to college. I wanted it to last all night, but eventually we had to go our separate ways. I drove home and it was really late so my parents had already gone to sleep. This morning I woke before the crack of dawn and my dad was still up before me. When we went outside to start the morning chores together, he saw the truck. I told him where it was from and that I wasn't giving it back. I told him that I am old enough to make my own choices. He seemed grumpy about it, but he didn't fight me.
Now I'm going into town to show off my new vehicle.
~
03:03 pm
Another ship
This can't be happening. A ship landed with the second meteor shower. Lex has it and he's had it for a while. He told me about it last night. He claimed he didn't want to burden me earlier with the information because he felt I already had enough to worry about. I hate when he does that. I can't believe he waited so long to tell me about the ship.
That's not even the worst part. Lex said his father had the ship first, and that Lex managed to steal it from him. I freaked when he told me that. Lex insisted that his father didn't link it to me in any way, but how does Lex know for sure? Lex's dad never tells you what he really means.
When I pressed Lex for more information, he told me that Lana had seen the ship when it landed. He said that according to her it opened up. It's sealed shut now and doesn't have any seams that indicate a doorway. The ship is Kryptonian. It has to be. It came with more kryptonite and it has symbols on the side. I don't understand what the symbols mean, but they look like my native language. The longer I stared at it, the more I wanted to run. Eventually I touched the surface. The ship is large enough to hold a grown man or two and triangular in shape. The surface is so smooth and it doesn't look like it has an entrance. I hate it.
I couldn't stay. Just looking at that thing was upsetting. Why did it come here? What was inside? If it was open it must have had something inside. Why couldn't Lex just destroy it?
I had too many questions. Lex couldn't answer most of them. He said he's having the ship studied and analyzed. I wish he'd told me about it right away. Why does he always feel like he has to protect me? I've been avoiding his calls since I came home last night from the place where the ship is being stored.
This is totally freaking me out. I have to tell my parents.
~
06:09 pm
I talked to my parents
Last night after considering all my options, I talked to my parents about what had happened with Lex. I told them about the ship. They were upset to say the least. Dad was the most upset. He wanted to rush over to the mansion and give Lex a piece of his mind, but I told him to back off. I reminded him that I can handle my life. I only wanted to confide in them because it is something that could impact on us all.
I don't know what to do. I hate that Lex kept this from me, but it's Lex. I love him and I know he didn't do this to hurt me. I need to think more about what to do.
I thought about going to the fortress. I haven't been back there since it was first built, but I can't. It's something else I'm avoiding. I had another dream last night. Jor-El called to me and told me to come home. He said that the fate of man depended on me. This is insane. How am I supposed to deal with all this at once?
I need more time. I can't do this.
~
02:09 pm
I had another dream
I woke up early this morning from another dream. It was about the fortress again. It called to me. I went and it was black inside. It looked like it had been destroyed. Then my father's voice called to me. He told me that they have come and that I must be ready for them. When I tried to find out what he meant, his voice faded. Then I was standing in a field. The field was blackened and burnt. There was nothing and nobody for miles. At my feet there was this symbol that looked like the letter Z, and then I woke up.
I told my parents as soon as they woke up. I'm not sure what to do. They don't like Jor-El.
I should probably go to the fortress, but I need to talk to Lex first. I haven't talked to him since he showed me the ship. I want him to be a part of any decisions I make, especially if it has to do with my other identity.
09:54 pm
They did come
This is the biggest mess ever. Two Kryptonians attacked Lex, and Chloe knows I'm an alien from another planet. I need to wrap my brain around this because just this morning everything wasn't this bad.
I was screening my calls because I didn't want to talk to Lex. He called and I check the message right away, which was good because he was in danger. When I heard him yell for Chloe to run, I ran to the mansion faster than I have ever run in my life. When I got there, I found Lex and Chloe in Lex's office, being attacked by two people. They claimed to be from my home world. They called me Kal-El and they had some my powers. One of them was choking Lex and the other was holding Chloe. I had no choice but to use my abilities in front of her. There wasn't any time to think about what I was doing. Luckily, I was faster than they were and I managed somehow to get Chloe and Lex from them. I stood between them and the alien intruders.
I was ready to kick their asses all the way to the moon. There was no way I was going to let them touch Lex or Chloe again. Then one of them told me that I must join them in taking over the planet and turning Earth into a utopia. I wasn't about to comply with that. They'd already killed Lex's security guards. I told them I would never let them harm anyone else again, and they said that some humans would have to be sacrificed for the greater good.
I yelled for Lex and Chloe to get out, and then I threw the guy across the room and the girl punched me in the face. Her blow actually drew blood. She was strong, but I was stronger than both of them. Then I tried to stop them with my heat vision, but that barely slowed them down. The girl pulled something off her wrist and said that if I wouldn't join them then they would exile me to the Phantom Zone. The device from her wrist turned out to be some kind of portal to another dimension or something. They tried to throw me in, but I managed to punch a hole in the floor and held on until I could grab one of them and toss them in the portal. I was stunned and terrified when I saw Lex push the girl towards the portal. He waited for an opportunity when she wasn't looking at him and took it. My heart almost stopped and everything seemed to freeze as I watched Lex tumble toward the hole. I managed to catch him before he followed her into the depths of the Zone. I've never been so glad to have fast reflexes. Even though they were way more powerful than him, Lex had risked his life. I was amazed at his bravery.
I don't know why or how, but the portal closed behind them and then vanished.
When the dust settled, I saw that Lex's office was totally trashed and Chloe was staring at me with this look of horror in her eyes. She'd seen it all. She's seen me use my abilities and heard those people call me by my given name.
We stood there in silence. I made the choice to tell Chloe the truth and she stood listening to my story. Then she vowed to keep my secret no matter what. I'm still scared because I've known her for so long and now she knows about me. She looked at me differently. I could tell she didn't see Clark anymore. Then she asked why I look so human, and I told her there's a lot about my people that I don't know. She confessed that she's always suspected there was something different about me, but not this. Then she told me that last year she'd seen me catch a car like it was a beach ball.
I can't believe that Chloe knows about me.
~
12:38 pm
The dust clears and life goes on
I've had an interesting weekend. After everything that happened at the mansion Friday, I spent the evening with Lex up in his room. We talked about the implications of Chloe being in the know when it comes to my secret. I reminded Lex that Chloe did vow to keep my secret. I trust her and I want him to trust her as well. I hope in time he'll come to feel that she's worth confiding in.
On Saturday I went over to the mansion to spend some time with Lex. I wanted to reassure him again that Chloe would never tell my secret to anybody. We talked about stuff, and I admitted to him that I was afraid Chloe would look at me differently. I don't want that. I want her to see me, the Clark she's always known.
Chloe came over Sunday. My parents had gone to the city. I spent most of the morning doing chores, and just as I was finishing up, Chloe appeared on my doorstep. I was hoping she wouldn't look at me differently, but she did. It wasn't bad or anything. She just stared at me a lot and kept looking me up and down like she expected me to do something freaky.
She made up a really lame excuse about why she had come to see me. I told her that if she was expecting me to grow tentacles or something she was out of luck. That broke the tension. She laughed and said she wasn't sure what to expect. She admitted that it was all strange and she probably needed time to get used to the idea that her best friend is not of this world.
Then she asked it. The question I hoped she wouldn't ask. She didn't have to say the word. I knew what she was getting at. Her eyes trailed down to my crotch and lit up with glee. I was tempted to whip it out, just to embarrass her, but the thought of Chloe seeing my penis made me blush. I suppose she could ask Lois, but then Lois would probably ask all kinds of questions and tease Chloe about her sudden interest in my private parts. I reassured Chloe that all my parts were the same as any human's. She touched my cheek and told me that I am awesome. When I saw that little twinkle in her eye, I knew everything would be okay between us.
She also wanted to let me know that Lana had been asking about what was going on with Lex and the ship. Apparently, Lana was there when the Kryptonians asked to be taken to Kal-El. Chloe reassured me that she stifled Lana's enquiring mind. I hope she's right. I don't want Lana to find out the truth. It's enough that Chloe knows. If Lana knew that the meteors that killed her parents were from my home world and brought to earth by my ship, I'm not sure that she'd understand. I wanted to ask Chloe what she thought, but I couldn't bring it up. I couldn't say the words.
Chloe also broke the horrible news that Lois would be returning on Tuesday from her overseas adventures. She joked that she would tell her cousin how much I missed her. Then Chloe promised to make sure Lois stayed far away from me. It was a relief to finally tell Chloe how much I do not want Lois staying at the farm with me. I hate having to do my chores at normal speed. It takes too long.
After that, I made dinner for us. We had a great time talking about normal stuff. My parents got home just as Chloe was leaving. I'd already told her that it was better not to tell my mom and dad that she knew about my alien status. Chloe understood, but as she was saying goodbye to them, she acted squirrelly and Dad asked what was wrong with her. I joked that she and I had just been making out before they'd arrived and Chloe was afraid they would tell on us. Dad got the hint that it wasn't anything I wanted to talk about.
I admit that I still feel apprehensive about Chloe knowing about me, but at the same time, I'm so glad she knows. I've wanted to tell her so many times over the years. Now I have somebody else to confide in about my differences. At least I won't have to make up lame excuses for how I do the things I do.
~
01:39 pm
Home away from home
The last few days have been interesting. I went over to the mansion on Wednesday with some grocery and cooked dinner for Lex. It was a surprise for him and I wanted us to have a nice quiet normal evening together. I also wanted to bring up something. I told him that I felt it was important for me to go to the fortress. I needed some answers and I was hoping that my biological father would have some.
I went to the fortress and stayed a while for some of the training. It was nothing more than being caught in a beam of light and information flashing in front of my eyes. Most of it was about my home world. My dad came to earth once. That's totally freaky to think that Jor-El was here on earth once. He was exiled from Krypton for punishment. It's nice to know that my people used earth as penalty for being different. There's so much more for me to learn, but Jor-El broke the lesson off and told me there was time and that I should return again at a later date. I asked about the two people who had landed with another ship, but he insisted that no other ship had been sent out to the galaxy. He did seem hesitant. Unfortunately he was reluctant to reveal more.
When I got home, I discovered that I'd been gone for almost two days. I hadn't even realized how much time had passed. I guess I got caught up in the history lesson. I'm going to have to return again soon. Too bad I couldn't learn more about those people. I did learn that the Phantom Zone is a prison for Krypton's deadliest criminals. That would have sucked to get stuck in that place.
I should probably tell Lex what little I learned. I thought about keeping it to myself, but that always turns out bad.
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