12:55 am - Life never gets easier.
I think my mom actually, for a moment, thought that dad would kill Nixon. She hesitated. There's a lot of that going
around. I am so glad he didn't. We were lucky Lex showed up when he did. I don't even know how to thank him for saving my dad's life. I
haven't had a chance to talk to him at all since it happened.
I was passed out when it happened so I didn't see it. Nixon was going to take me. If Lex hadn't shown up dad might be dead now and who knows
what Nixon would have done with me.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Lex saved my whole family. I could have lost everything if it hadn't been for him. I wish I
could call him or something but it's so late.
I e-mailed him.
to let you know
I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for my family. I was really busy all day today, but I promise I'll come by tomorrow to see
you. Let me know when would be a good time.
How is your dad doing? I hope the surgery went okay. See you soon.
Clark
It's such a crappy e-mail. I should have said more. I just didn't know what to say.
I'm going to wait to see if he e-mails me back.
~
11:32 pm - I had no idea what to say.
I went to see Lex but I was totally at a loss as to what to say. I told him if he needs to talk I'm here for him, but
he said he didn't want to talk. He was already drinking when I got there. It feels like a million years have passed, and we're not the same
people any more. Only it hasn't and I'm still me and he's still Lex.
What am I supposed to say to him? Thanks for killing Nixon for me. Hey Lex, sorry you were forced to shoot a man to save my dad who hated
your guts.
He was right there sitting beside me and I was a total loser. All I could think was that anybody else would have known what to say, but as
usual I couldn't find the right words. I made up a lie about having to leave to help dad. He didn't look like he wanted me there. I felt
like an intruder.
I ran to Gotham before I even knew what was happening. I kept thinking that Bruce would know what to do. I went to see him, and told him
what happened. I could tell him everything because he knows about me. He knows about what I really am.
He's coming to see Lex tomorrow. I was so grateful I would have given him just about anything he wanted at that moment. He just asked me to
go home. So here I am alone in the loft, wondering when the pain of my crash landing will end.
~
11:06 am - Maybe I was a little hasty last night
I should have thought things through when I talked to B about what happened with
Lex. What if Lex gets mad when B shows
up? He might not be too thrilled that I brought B into this. I don't care. I only care that
Lex is happy again, and right now I don't really
feel that I can help him to resolve what happened.
I should have been more coherent when I talked to B. I totally freaked him out. Last night I came away from his place feeling like things
would be better, but this morning all I can think is that Lex will get mad, and I've totally screwed everything up again.
Part of me is too scared to go see him, and part of me feels that nothing should be different, but I know it is. So much has happened. I
have to do something. The things I said can't just be brushed off. I really wish they could. We're not really still fighting so much as not
sure where to take things from here.
I just e-mailed Lex and asked him out. He said yes!!!! Yeah! Now we just have to figure out what we want to do. I didn't really think that
far ahead.
So, this was his response:
Sounds very tempting, angel. This will give me something to contemplate as I work. I'll come up with a plan. How long would you be able
to get away for? A day? Overnight? Let me know the parameters of our excursion.
Now I just have to ask mom and dad. Wish me luck.
~
11:13 am - Mom and dad said yes!!
I asked last night after dinner and to my shock mom and dad debated it right in front of me as if I wasn't even there.
Then they finally decided it was a good idea and that both Lex and I could use some time away since we've both been through so much.
I was amazed that dad only put a few restrictions on what we could do. He said flying somewhere was totally out of the question, but that I
could go anywhere within the state.
I just got Lex's e-mail in response to the one I sent last night. I e-mailed him to let him know that mom and dad were okay with us going
somewhere to have some guy time, as dad put it.
Hi Clark,
That's okay. I turned in early yesterday evening anyway. After Bruce's surprise visit, I found myself rather exhausted.
I'm very pleased (if a little surprised) to hear that your parents don't mind if we get away for a few days. Though I'm disappointed to have
to cancel the reservations I made for that little hotel by the Seine.
Kidding, Clark. Kidding.
I know a place that's private and quiet and only a few hours away, where we could relax and perhaps do some stargazing. Among other things.
How does that sound to you? I know it's exactly what I could do with.
If you're wondering, I'm not upset about Bruce. It was good to see him, even if he can be a little pushy sometimes. I know you meant well.
Yours,
Lex
I had to look up Seine to see where that is. I think I'll just tell mom and dad that we're going camping.
I am so glad Lex isn't angry about Bruce. It's funny because Bruce didn't say much to me about Lex when he stopped by yesterday in the late
afternoon. I don't mind as long as Lex is okay. I know he isn't going to get over this quickly; I just want him to deal with it instead of
just pretending it never happened. I have no idea what he is going through and I know it was something that he did to save dad. I feel like
I have to help him deal with it.
I also told Bruce about Nixon and how he blew me up and how he had proof about what I am and how Lex said Nixon tried to sell the
information to him. I voiced my fears that maybe Nixon had left something that could be found. My dad told me he destroyed the tape in
Nixon's camera, but there is no telling what else he had on me. When I told Bruce I was planning on investigating he told me he would take
care of it for me.
The ship is gone, and I am so glad. There is a big part of me that really hopes I never see it again.
~
11:25 am - Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom and dad said yes so this weekend Lex and I are going off to spend some time out in the wilds of this great state.
I can not wait to be out alone with him. He even said we could stargaze! I am so excited. I want to make this all about him so I plan on
giving him whatever he wants.
In other news the tractor broke down again. Stupid tractor. Now I have to go fix it. I wish I could throw it into the next county and say
'Oops, dad, looks like we need to get a new one.'
Anyway, off to work for me. I do deliveries today. I can't wait to see the look on
Lex's face when I tell him that the trip is on. I am so
excited to find out what he has in mind.
~
11:23 pm - We're here
It's really out of the way. There's nobody else around, which is great since it's what I had hoped for. We have an
amazing view from this huge window, there's a fridge full of food, and the place is just huge. I'm in the living room on the fold out sofa
bed right now, using Lex's laptop, since I didn't bring mine. I didn't think we were supposed to, but at least I brought my telescope.
Tonight looks like a great stargazing night.
Lex is taking a shower. I peeked for a few seconds with my x-ray vision. I shouldn't cheat, but I didn't think it would hurt to take one
little peek. He seems so tired. I just hope this weekend he can relax. I know that he won't be able to forget everything, but I just want
him to have a chance to take a breath. He pushes himself so hard. I think that's because of his dad.
My dad never pushes me. He wants me to be the best I can be at whatever I try, but I don't think he ever really pushes. He usually tells me
what the right thing to do is and then expects me to do what he says.
Lex just came out of the shower. He's wearing nothing but green, silk pajama bottoms. They are so soft. He fell asleep beside me. Now he's
rolled a little toward me so that his body is pressed against me. He's so warm. Oh, oh his arm just slid around my waist. He's so smooth.
I think we're actually going to go for a hike tomorrow. That should be nice. I'm really looking forward to doing normal things with him. He
never seems to do normal things except drink coffee. I've seen him do that a lot, and that's pretty normal. Maybe it's just that he's a few
years older than me. He's expected to be adult whereas I'm still only in high school so I don't have the same responsibilities that Lex has.
Although dad would say that isn't true. I've always had too many responsibilities as it is. Now I have to add adulthood to them.
I have no idea where all this is coming from. I guess I've been thinking a lot on things lately. Growing up is totally sucky. I hate it so
far. In some ways it's cool. I get to drive. I drove us some of the way here since Lex was so tired. We took the red Ferrari and that is
totally awesome, but then there are things like being responsible for your actions. I've been taught all my life that there are consequences
to everything you do. I never truly understood that until this past year.
We talked about LJ and decided to friend each other. I just added his LJ to my friends list. Now I know somebody on my friends list in real
life.
I need to get some sleep.
~
11:25 pm
Tonight you fell asleep beside me, and I swear it was like watching you relax for the first time since I met you. You
looked gorgeous and you didn't even drool, much. Thank you for taking time out of your busy life to do this with me.
Maybe sometimes I might not be able to say things straight to your face so if it's okay with you I made this filter so that I can tell you
private things that might occur to me when you're not around.
~
11:45 pm - We're here
Man this place rocks. It's so cool and way out of the way. I can totally see us doing some cool stuff in that Jacuzzi.
Lex took a shower then promptly passed out. Now he's sprawled beside me. It's a graceful sprawl of course. He has one hand on my ass. Even
asleep he homes in on my butt.
Tomorrow I'm going to wake up and make breakfast for both of us. I need to get to sleep. Our first night and we didn't even make it into the
bedroom. In fact he just kissed me once and then passed out. He has the nicest laptop, though. I wonder what games are on it.
He's got a few games. I think I'll play some Mythology before I fall asleep.
His hand is making me hard, but I don't want to move it.
~
11:56 pm - The weekend
It was such a great weekend. I completely forgot all my worries, and it was all because of Lex. He's so amazing! I
totally could see myself spending the rest of my life with him. He's undemanding, and all the time we spent together was so easy. I have
never felt so at ease with anybody before beyond my mom and dad.
Saturday morning I woke up and let Lex sleep in. He looked so peaceful asleep. He doesn't drool at all. I can't figure out how he manages to
still look so elegant even in his sleep. He's gorgeous. I took pictures when he wasn't aware of it. He looked so relaxed.
I walked around the area while he slept and checked things out. It was very secluded. It occurred to me that Lex had chosen this place so
that we wouldn't be seen by anybody.
I decided the best way to handle this was to not push him. I wanted him to talk to me, and the only way I could ensure that is if I didn't
push. He eventually talked to me about Pam and how much he misses her now. I wasn't really sure what to say so I told him that I thought Pam
was very happy in the end. She looked happy to me.
He told me that Bruce and Feegan had pushed him hard about how he was feeling. A lot of things have happened to Lex over the last few weeks
so I understand why they pushed. I know Bruce was my doing. I knew that he would understand better what Lex was going through. It might have
been a bad move. I know Bruce was glad I let him know what was happening, but a part of me thinks that maybe I shouldn't have gone behind
Lex's back.
It's been such a great weekend I don't even want to think anymore on those things.
We spent Saturday hiking and making out. It was so cool. It was refreshing to be somewhere with Lex where nobody was demanding his time or
mine. I didn't have to leave to do chores or stop any of the things we were doing. We were together like it was just us in the world.
We managed to do some stargazing Saturday night. For some reason I was really tired by the end of the day. I was the one who passed out this
time.
The next morning he woke me up with kisses. He even brought me breakfast in bed: a powdered jelly filled donut and a glass of milk. It was
awesome. I kind of messed up the bed with donut, but it was totally worth it since he gave me the most amazing blowjob ever. Then I sucked
him off and it was the best morning in my entire life. We were just us. No pretending anything, no asking, pushing, or pulling. It was
wonderful.
He packed a picnic lunch for us and we went for another hike. We meandered around the area, taking in the scenery. It was wonderful and
relaxing. I hated to come home to work. It was a ton of work. Dad kept me going nonstop all day. I am totally beat.
~
03:46 pm - Last night
Bruce stopped by to give me the files he found. Nixon had pictures of me from when he blew me up in the truck. Mom and
dad are going to the next country to pick up a new truck. The insurance money was enough to cover the cost of another truck. It's not a new
model, but at least dad can get something decent.
There is this guilt in me about all that has happened. I try to shake it, but I just can't help but feel that if it wasn't for me we'd still
have our truck. When I talked to Bruce about it he said all the things I expected him to say. I know my parents don't care about the truck,
and that I am the most important thing to them. I just feel bad that these things happen. Bruce also reminded me that because of who I am
there will always be somebody who tries to take advantage of that.
I can even think of people who would. I hate to admit it, but Lex is on that list. I'm so afraid that he'll be tempted to want something
from me because of my abilities, and I hate myself for thinking this way for even one second. Most of the time I feel like it wouldn't
matter, and then he'll suddenly start to talk about stuff. Stuff like when he heard from somebody that a ship fell with the meteors, and I
wonder how hard he would push me if he knew.
I am so glad he put the car accident behind him. When he promised to stop investigating, it was the biggest relief ever. He can be very
persistent and sometimes that worries me.
This past weekend I wanted to give him everything. I wanted him to be happy, and not have to worry about anything at all. I wanted both of
us to stop thinking about all those things that always haunt us. I managed to forget for just a few days that I am an alien and that he is
Lex Luthor. I know that in the end these things are going to really interfere with our happiness.
A tiny part of me hoped that Lex would finally want to take that last step with me. I didn't hold out much hope and I didn't bring it up,
but I can dream. I want it to happen.
I am not a Kansas farmer, and he is not just any man. Most of the time I can put these thoughts in the back of my mind, but sometimes, late
at night when I lay in bed alone, I can't help but think about them.
The ship may be gone but that doesn't change what I am. I have to drop pies off at the Talon today which means I have to see Lana. I hope
she doesn't talk about what happened. I want her to just forget, and move on. I want everybody to just keep pretending I'm Clark Kent, a
plain farmer who just wants to live his normal life.
Is that too much to ask for?
I had a little bonfire and burned all the files Nixon had on me. I didn't bother to look at what was on the memory stick. I snapped it in
half and then when Bruce was gone I destroyed it thoroughly in the flames, like Bruce told me to do. He's such an amazing guy. He seemed a
little down, but he said Lex was fine when I asked about how things had gone between them. I didn't even ask how he was doing. I was just so
nervous and upset about the files. I thanked him with a hug. I felt kind of dorky hugging him, not really sure why. I think maybe because it
just seemed so weird to hug somebody who's so strong. I wish I could be as strong and sure as he is.
He's seeing somebody now and I should have asked how that was going. I have to remember to do that. Maybe I should e-mail him. I should
definitely e-mail Dick. He's so cool and I did invite him to visit this summer. I have to set that up soon. First I will have to talk to mom
and dad about it.
I seem to always have so much to say now a days and it looks like it will be a very long summer. Lex is most likely going to be so busy. I
hope he can make his plan work. I wish I could go to his dad and tell him to stop knocking Lex down all the time. Lex is such a strong
person; I can't understand why his dad would be so down on him.
I feel so conflicted. I love Lex so much, but at the same time I fear him. That is totally fucked up and so hard to resolve in my mind.
~
05:45 pm - I just took a shower
And mom and dad got home a half hour ago. This was perfect timing since Lex left ten minutes before they got home. Lex
stopped by to tell me his deal went through. He now runs the plant. Very great news for the town since it means that nobody will lose their
jobs. I am so proud of him.
He caught me in the middle of work. I spent all morning digging ditches, and shredding branches from a tree I had to trim. Mom and dad went
to the next county to get the new truck so I was alone. When Lex showed up I was shirtless and covered in dirt and sawdust from the chipper.
I had the chipper on when he got here. I don't know how long he stood watching me. I'm pretty sure he didn't see me do anything
extraordinary. I did just break a branch in two and push it through the shredder, but I think anybody could have done that. Of course the
branch was almost as thick as my arm, so maybe not, but Lex didn't say anything about it.
We went up to my loft for a glass of lemonade. Lex was dressed up nice in a tie and everything. I felt like a pig, mussing him up, but I
have to admit I did get a thrill once he said he didn't care how dirty I was. Then I went all out. I even pinned him to the sofa, pulled his
pants open and sucked him off. It was such a thrill since we've never really done stuff in my loft. The last time mom caught us kissing
here, she told me that I need to be more discrete.
I was really shocked when he sucked me off right after. I came so fast because I was already beyond excited. He even told me my sweatiness
was a turn-on. I should have rubbed my armpits all over his face. That would have been funny. Maybe next time I will.
I have to take a deep breath now because first I need to get my hair cut, it's getting shaggy, and then I have to drive into town to drop
pies off at the Talon. Lana will be there to take the delivery. I begged mom to do it for me, but she showed not one ounce of sympathy. Moms
are so mean.
~
06:06 pm - Lex rocks
We had the most amazing weekend. He was the most relaxed I have ever seen him.
He just left less than an hour ago. He stopped by to tell me that thanks to his machinations (big word use, go me! I would never have used
this word until I met Lex) the plant will stay open. I am so proud of him. He's the most awesome, inspiring person I have ever met. I feel
so high right now.
My mom and dad were out so we were alone. We did a little fooling around. Is it normal for him to like my BO? I was totally amused by this.
I shouldn't tell people things like this but then he tells way more stuff (as I saw with his last post).
Anyway, I was half way through my chores when he showed up. Needless to say I stank like a barn. (Is stank a word? It sounds weird. Yup the
perfect word to describe how badly I smelled when he showed up)
I love the fact that my stink didn't bother him at all. I wonder how long he was in the shower when he got home.
I still have a ton of work to do and mom is making me sweep up my own hair. She's being really mean today.
~
11:12 am - Guilt is my middle name
I have it in spades. I eat breathe and drink it every single day.
Late at night when I lay in bed awake I think a lot about the pain and heartache I cause everybody around me.
To see it in writing, that Lex thinks I trust him. I do trust him: with my life, but not with my secret.
I think he deserves better than somebody who lies right to his face. I tell myself that my lies are not lies. That they are secrets that if
discovered would change my whole life. I fear that discovery. When Roger Nixon grabbed me and put that meteor rock in my pocket my insides
weren't just cringing from the rock. A part of me thought for sure that I would never see my friends or family again. A part of me thought
for sure that he would take me away forever.
Dad told me that Roger told him that Lex offered to pay him for information on us. If I ask Lex point blank if this is true I'm afraid he
will tell me to fuck off. My dad isn't a liar and I know Lex would never hurt me no matter what my stupid fears might be. I just can't seem
to reconcile things.
Maybe I should talk to Lex about it. But how do I do that without making him think I don't trust him? I'm too afraid and I think that maybe
this fear will eat at me until it consumes me whole. I need to get past it for my sake and for our sake. I need to figure out how to live
with myself, knowing that I can't tell Lex the truth of what I am.
I don't even want to tell him the truth because if I do then it's so very real and unchangeable. When he doesn't know I can pretend I'm just
me, Clark. Once he knows it changes everything. I become the alien that fell on the day of the meteor shower. If he hated me, after he knew,
I would die inside.
I can't chance that. I can't chance that things between us would change forever. I want them to stay the same all the time.
But if I told him he'd know and we could be together without things hanging between us.
Life sucks and I wish I could stop thinking these things.
I love Lex so much. Deep down I know I can count on him and I know that he would never hurt me no matter what. The only thing I don't know
for sure is if my origins would make him turn away from me or if he would stop loving me because of what I am.
Maybe I could talk to Bruce about it. He could give me an idea of how he thinks Lex would feel about me after the knowledge.
I want to wait until I am used to it and I just can't see that happening any time soon. Right now it feels like I will never get used to it.
~
12:16 am
Jeez, Lex did you have to say that out where everybody would see? You just told people that I make you hard!
Okay, I guess they know what I do to you, but still.
Um, so are you going to come over and show me those restrictive pants?
~
10:42 am - My summer is a dream
I'm supposed to go out with Chloe and Lana some time this weekend. Chloe's moving to the city for the summer which
totally sucks, but she has that internship at the Planet so I can understand her not wanting to commute all summer. I haven't really had
much of a chance to talk to her or Lana. I keep telling myself it's because I'm way too busy. I am busy, but I was never too busy for
friends before. I have to give Pete a call soon. He's going to be busy all summer so we're probably going to have less time together.
I've definitely been avoiding Lana. After that conversation we had where she told me that I can't hide forever I wasn't in the mood to talk
to her. When I finally did see her she didn't say anything about what happened. I hope it stays that way, because there is no way I am
telling her about my origins.
I did stop by the Talon the other evening. I was totally bored at home and I'm tired of having nothing to do all the time. The Talon has
become someplace I can go to just chill out. Lana was still cool, and like a total dope I completely forgot that she had asked me to think
up things the three of us could do when we go out. She made sure to write me up a post-it note to make sure I didn't forget again. I really
don't care what we do as long as I'm with my friends. That's all that really matters to me.
Lex stopped by last night. I was navel-gazing when he showed up. It was nice to just have him there. I thought it was funny that he was
totally ticked off that Bruce was named most eligible bachelor by People magazine. What he was really ticked about was the fact that the
article on his new company was relegated to a strip at the top of the cover. It's not like People Magazine is a business magazine. His press
coverage in the news was great. Lex looked amazing and so calm. I'm so proud of him. Even dad smiled when he saw it. When he saw that I had
caught him he claimed he was happy that all those people wouldn't be out of a job. I know the truth; he's as proud as I am. I can tell.
It's so cute what pisses Lex off. Stuff that I couldn't care less about makes his blood boil. I totally care about everything he cares
about, but a magazine really isn't that big a deal. I suppose the press coverage is very important to him so I don't blame him for that. It
was a nice article. I only read the article about LexCorp then totally forgot to read the one about Bruce. At least I looked at the
pictures. Bruce looked very relaxed in them. It painted him as an easygoing guy, which is totally not true.
At least I got to touch Lex. He's so pretty when he's relaxed. I love to look at him and touch him and just be close to him. When we're like
that there's no pressure to be anything but myself. In fact, that is all he asked of me when I asked if there was anything I could do to
help his weird mood.
Since we were in the loft and mom and dad were in the house nearby we really couldn't do much except a little touching and kissing. I still
got just as hard as if he'd stripped me naked and sucked me off. Thinking of him makes me hard. I hope that never fades.
I was trying not to be too needy, but I think I actually whimpered at one point when he kissed me. It was such a hot kiss I couldn't help
it.
Now I have to go do work. Dad is calling me.
~
01:29 pm - I love hot sunny days.
Yesterday I went over to the mansion to hang out by Lex's pool.
When I got there Lex was working, as usual. He never seems to stop. I stripped down to my swim trunks and invited him to come and play with
me. He joined me quickly and changed into his swim trunks. He looks really good like that, although I think he could use more sun. He's kind
of pale.
Once he swam some laps, he seemed much more relaxed. He probably worked all weekend and needed to unwind. I have a feeling I'm going to be
urging him to loosen up a lot this summer.
I swam for a while then just lounged around in the pool while Lex watched. It was so nice to just be able to relax. I love hanging out with
Lex.
That wasn't even the best part of the day. Out of the blue he gave me a gift. I'd completely forgotten about my birthday but he didn't. He
gave me a really nice choker necklace thingie that has this silver bead on it. The bead has angel wings carved into it. It's stunning! I've
never had anybody give me jewelry so I didn't know how to react. I'm wearing it right now. You can't really see it when I wear it though,
since it falls right along the collar of my t-shirt.
I have to be honest; when I first saw it I thought it was a collar. I've heard about that kind of thing and since I'd never seen one before
I wasn't sure if that was what it was, especially with the bead thing. The bead is so nice and understated. I really like it. I put it on
right away. I was afraid to insult him or something and I wasn't sure because he was giving me these weird looks. I think he was afraid I'd
hate it. I just have to get used to the idea of wearing a necklace. It's a little strange.
I took it off before I went to bed and just stared at it for a long time. I'm pretty sure it means a lot to
Lex that I wear it so I have to
remember to always have it on when I see him or when I go out. I have this feeling that he'd be sad if I didn't wear it. I don't want to
wear it when I work though, in case I lose it or break it or something.
He told me when he gave it to me that he wants me to always think about him and that this is to remind me of him. I tried to tell him that I
don't need a reminder of him.
After that, we made out on one of the lounge chairs. He is so hot! I love to touch his bare skin. I am a little ashamed to admit that he
made me come in my bathing suit just from kissing and touching. I don't think I made a complete dork of myself, but I came pretty close. I
didn't want Lex to feel neglected so I help him reach the same state.
When he told me that he'd be going away a lot this summer I felt my heart plummet. I was really hoping we'd spend lots of time getting to
know each other better. We've never spent a summer together. I know what he's doing is very important. I just hope he doesn't forget about
me while he's on all those business trips.
Maybe I should give him something to remind him of me so that when he's away he can hold it and think about me. I'll have to think of
something. I can't really afford much so it will have to be something inexpensive. Which reminds me; I get my allowance today. I better
start saving for Lex's gift.
Off to do work to earn that allowance.
~
10:49 am - Friends move on
She's gone. I really didn't understand what this would mean, but it hit me last night.
Chloe had to move back to the city
for the summer and she may not have much time for us. I miss her already.
Last Saturday Chloe, Lana and I went to a fair in the next county. We had a great time, although I could have done without the Ferris wheel ride.
I'm a total coward, and I hate heights, but when Lana asked me to go on it with her I braved it for her. We had a really cool time.
Lana and Chloe
looked so happy. They look really good together. I have to admit I still find
Lana attractive and she looked so radiant that day. It's
probably Chloe's doing. I can only imagine what they did after we went our separate ways.
Chloe looked radiant too of course.
I spent all of my time just watching them and wishing Lex could be there, but that kind of stuff really isn't his style.
Lana asked how things
were between Lex and me. I wasn't really forthcoming. I don't like to talk about my personal life, even when it's with somebody I know so
well.
I still have a ton of work to do today plus I want to go over to see Lex. I only saw him for a few minutes yesterday when I dropped off the
deliveries. He was very preoccupied with work so I didn't stick around. He's a total workaholic.
So, Lex, if you happen to read this today let me know when would be a good time to stop in for more than a little kiss.
~
11:01 am - It's almost summer time.
It's already started. Lex is leaving for a business trip this Friday for a little over a week! I didn't think it would
be so soon. I guess I didn't take it too well. To say I was a brat is an understatement. When he called me on it I tried to act like I was
joking.
I tossed and turned all night. I couldn't get it out of my head that I was being left behind. Here he is making these huge decisions with,
not just his life, but other people's lives too, and I'm just a kid stuck on a farm. I can't even believe that he would still want to be
with me. It couldn't possibly be good for his image. Not that many people know we're together. I might want to reinforce how important it is
that the people who do know say absolutely nothing to anybody about it. I don't even want them to hint at something more than friendship.
I feel so disassociated from that part of Lex's life. I can't relate to him on that level. He's so intelligent and strong and dynamic. I'm
just a big dork. It's totally depressing me to think about it. He's going to be out there in the real world while I'm trapped here, mucking
out stalls and moving hay.
What the hell does he see in me? I'm nothing but a big geeky, high school kid. I know he tells me that he cares about me and when he kisses
me he makes my knees go all weak. I loved sitting in the car, watching the sunset. We did that last night. I went over and he let me pick
out the car - I chose the red Ferrari - he even let me drive it. I drove us to pick up cheap drive through food, since all I had on me was a
few dollars, and Slurpees. We picked up burgers and fries with apple pies. Then we stopped off at a convenience store for the Slurpees.
I drove us to this nice secluded spot where we could watch the sunset. We ate and made small talk. His lips tasted so good, all salty and
wet. I love to kiss him. His lips were all red from the cherry Slurpee, and he tasted sweeter than cotton candy. I can not even imagine a
time when I won't love to touch his lips. Sometimes I think about the first time our lips touched (when I gave him mouth to mouth) and I
smile when I remember how I felt at that moment terrified, but humming with energy. I still feel that way around him more times than not.
He sprang it on me that he would be leaving this Friday on business. It totally sucks.
When he pushed me about how I felt I just told him I don't want to share him. It's partly true. I'm an only child, and I have only ever had
two friends all my life and they have always been there for me, especially Pete. I never had to share him with anybody.
I know with Lex it's not possible to not share. He's an important guy. I want him to do great things and I know he can. I'm 100 % behind
everything he wants to do. I'm not so selfish that I would stop him. I'm also not so egotistical that I think he'd stop if I asked him to.
We made out after that. At first I felt strange. I couldn't get the thoughts I was starting to have out of my mind, but then his kisses and
touches made me feel much better. I forgot to tell him that I love him. I should have. I just didn't feel like it last night now I feel like
a child for withholding just because my feelings were hurt. I'll have to say it the next time I see him.
I have to go buy him something. I haven't got one clue where to start.
~
10:40 pm
I went there today. The place we met: the bridge. The railing where his car crashed through is long fixed. I stood and
stared into the water and marveled at the irony that the reason I was on the bridge that day was because I was moping over Lana. I never
would have met Lex that way if it wasn't for that. I probably wouldn't have found out about my origins so soon. I could tell dad didn't want
to tell me. He knew what it would change.
He was right.
I'm glad it happened. I met somebody who makes my heart leap in my chest when he turns his gaze on me.
Lex is the change in my life that I would gladly embrace every single time.
~
11:16 pm - He liked the CD.
I think he loved the sex more. I didn't intend for it to happen. I mean I hoped of course, but I would never assume
anything. It happened so fast I barely remember even thinking it through. We were making out on the bed and earlier I was going through his
bedside table as he packed. I joked that he wouldn't need condoms on his trip and then there they were, handcuffs. I sort of accidentally on
purpose cuffed him to the bed while we kissed and told him he couldn't go anywhere now since he was cuffed to his bed.
I was only kidding around. Then one thing led to anther and before I knew it we were having sex. I was on top of him and it was so sweet. He
is so wonderfully tight. I love the feeling I get when I'm in him and he's under me. I feel powerful. Not that I'm not already powerful.
It's a different kind of power. I'm in control of us, of what we're doing. I can hold him and know I won't break him.
I know I bruised his hips. I held on a lot tighter than I usually do, but his ass was just so nice. He was hot, and lost in passion, and all
mine. I realized at that moment when I was pounding into him that I could have this every night. It was a heady revelation. It's so cool to
be inside Lex when he comes. It makes me come almost immediately.
Plus Lex just took it, and that is totally hot. I even forgot I had handcuffed him to the bed. He had to remind me, that's how caught up in
the moment I was. I think it really turned him on to be cuffed. I never thought of it that way, I was just trying to stop him from leaving.
It's so strange because I never saw myself as somebody who would be that way in bed. I always thought for sure I would be a giver. I suppose
pounding into him is giving. Maybe, I'm not sure. All I know is I think I am a total top. I love the feel of it.
That said I still want to have Lex top me some day. It's something I want to experience. Have him overpower me and take total control of my
body. I doubt it's even possible since I am so strong. I don't really see myself trying it with meteor rocks around. That time on the cross
when I was almost naked and had the necklace on, it seemed like forever, was enough of a weakening experience for me.
After we'd recovered and dressed I gave him the CD. Then we sat back down on the bed and kissed a lot. I thought for sure we were going to
do it again. I was so turned on. The truth is I was pretty much hard the whole time I was with him. I didn't want to leave. I had to and now
I'm home, filled with thoughts of what we did.
~
11:10 am - Lemonade on a hot summer day
I had to deliver some pies to the Talon yesterday. While I was there I saw
Lana for the first time since the weekend. She
mentioned something about helping kids out with a lemonade stand that's supposed to be set up in front of her shop on the weekend. I told
her I would help out. It could be fun, and distracting.
I also made Lana cry. I didn't mean to. I was trying to reassure her that before she knew it
Chloe would be back from the city, and things would
be normal again. Instead she burst into tears. I felt so bad. I didn't know what to say after that. I just kept my mouth shut and let her
cry on my shoulder. She looks so vulnerable when she cries. I get nervous when girls cry. I usually don't know what to do so I hugged her
and tried to comfort her. She told me that she may need to borrow my shoulder for the summer, which I am very glad to provide.
She really misses Chloe. I noticed she was wearing a ring. When I asked her about it she said that she and
Chloe both have one now. It's a really
nice ring. I think it's cool that they have that comfort zone. I wonder what she tells other people when they ask about it. I bet she says WF got it for her.
I totally forgot to wear my necklace since I'd been doing chores earlier. I put it on as soon as I got home. I won't lie about who gave it
to me when I get asked. In truth nobody has really noticed it, not even my mom and dad. Although most of the time, when I have it on, it
falls right under my shirt so it's hidden. As long as I know what it means that's all that counts. I can see how a ring would be harder to
explain. I couldn't imagine what I would say if Lex had given me one. 'Yeah, dad, it's from my imaginary girlfriend.'
My friend Pete came by yesterday to tell me that he would be away a lot this summer. He's going on the campaign trail for the election. His
interest in politics isn't totally altruistic. He told me he doesn't want to spend his whole summer with his parents.
Lex leaves on business today. I went over to the mansion last night and gave him the CD I made for him. We spent time in his room doing
stuff that is too private to talk about here, but I can safely say that I had a great time and I think he did too. He's so amazing.
I have a ton of work to do today which I am so glad for since it will keep my mind off the fact that
Lex is leaving. I can't even say good
bye to him since it would look weird having a high school kid see him off at the airport.
Dad's calling. He's in a really anxious mood today. I think he has a long list of stuff for us to do.
~
10:13 pm - I had such a great day today.
I spent most of the day with Lana. We took turns watching out for the kids that sold the lemonade. I wasn't sure about it
at first, but I had a great time. I only drank one glass of the lemonade. It was weird tasting, but nice. Maybe it was too sugary for me.
I took Lana out for ice cream after. It was perfect today to have lemonade for sale since it was a scorching hot day. I have to say
Lana dressed
for it. She was in these really nice shorts. I don't think I'd ever seen her in them before. She looked radiant in the sunshine.
I wore my necklace all day today. Both Lana and my dad noticed it. I chickened
out with dad. I told him I got it for myself with my allowance money. I had to
assure him it was inexpensive. I could tell Lana the truth about it, though. She was very happy for me. I did
notice that she had her ring on. I wanted to ask her more about it, but again, I couldn't brave it. Maybe I'll be able to next time.
I made sure Lana got home safe. We didn't notice how late it had gotten. I guess we were both so caught up in talking.
~
09:28 pm - I really don't want to get Mr. K in trouble.
I just came from the mansion. Mr. K is having a pool party! He invited the whole town it seems. Even my mom and dad
were there.
Things seemed really cool today. I got up and mom and I made dad a father's day breakfast, and then mom told me to clean up the kitchen so
she and dad could go do something together in town. They left in the truck. I cleaned as fast as I could since I had to go pick up
Lana to go
help with the lemonade stand again today.
When I got there her aunt answered the door. Her aunt has always been curt with me, but for some reason today she was really nice. I even
thought that maybe she was hitting on me, but that was crazy. I mentioned it to
Lana who said that her aunt was just in a great mood. I'm not
so sure though.
At least the lemonade sales went well. The kids were so busy I had to help out a lot. Mr. K came into town to buy some. He drove one of
Lex's cars! When I asked him if Lex had okayed that he just told me to stop being so stiff. I wasn't being stiff. I was just worried since
Lex is a bit odd about other people driving his cars.
While Mr. K was in town he handed out flyers to the pool party and even personally invited
Lana and myself. It was weird but It was such a hot
day so I understand wanting to cool off.
I went over to the mansion after I finished helping the kids to see what was going on. There was a full party in swing, and my parents were
making out poolside! Lana's aunt hit on me for sure this time! My mom flipped out and pushed her into the pool.
When I tried to point out to Mr. K that this was wrong, he told me to cool off and pushed me in the pool! I had to leave mom and dad there.
They told me to go home since I was being such a stick in the mud. Then they went back to making out!
I went home to change into dry clothes and then went over to talk to Lana. At least things at her place were calm. It was nice after all the
excitement of the day. There is something about her. She makes me feel different. Calm, like I can be with her and just be. We agreed to go
riding tomorrow. I haven't gone riding in a long time so I am really looking forward to it.
Now I need to clean the house. Mom and dad still haven't come home.
~
09:16 pm - Now I know for sure there is something weird going on.
Tonight Dad disabled me with a meteor rock, and then he and mom took off. They told me to grow up and stop being such a
burden.
I managed to crawl far enough away from the meteor rock to get my strength back, but by the time I did they were gone.
Mom told me to make my own dinner. That's not strange, since I have done that in the past. It was the way she said it. I can't believe they
would do this. I ran all over town, looking for them, but I couldn't find them.
That isn't even the most disturbing thing for me. This morning, when I came down for breakfast, I caught them making out on the sofa in the
living room, and then dad told me that during the pool party they made use of one of the rooms at the mansion. I can barely believe it let
alone write it here. My parents have never done anything like this before. I'm sure that they probably have done something like it at some
point, but to have seen it firsthand … man this is just making my brain implode.
I don't know what to do. I wish Chloe was here. This sounds like something for the wall of weird.
Earlier I stopped by the Talon to bring Lana her favorite ice cream. She needed cheering up since she had to cancel our morning ride. She
sounded so disappointed this morning when she called. I was glad I went. She seemed a lot happier after we talked. By the time I left she
was smiling.
It doesn't look like mom and dad are coming home. I guess that leaves me to do all the chores. Nothing has been done for the last few days.
I am so exhausted, and frightened, and I don't really know what to do. Meteor exposure totally sucks. I just know dad didn't mean it when he
called me a burden.
~
11:29 pm
Lana brought the lead box back to me so I could use it to get rid of the meteor rock in my loft. I hate those things. I
had to crawl to get it, but I didn't care. I put it in the box and got rid of it. Now I have the box by my bed. It's the box Lex gave to me
when we first met.
I close my eyes and think of that day, when he gave it to me, and now I can recall that he stood so close to me.
I miss Lex so much.
~
11:12 am - Taken me for a ride.
Yesterday I went riding with Lana to forget the weirdness that has been going on for the last few days. I had a great
time and it was so nice to ride again. I haven't done that since the last time she,
Chloe and I went riding together. It was a perfect day for
it and I really needed to get my mind off things.
We've both noticed strange behavior from a few people. Mr. K, Lana's aunt, and a few others seem to have suddenly turned strange. This all
started with the lemonade. Lana and I think something in it has made people go wacky, but we're not sure what it could possibly be.
She stopped by last night. I needed the box back that I gave to her a while ago. She brought it and dinner for us. Not that I can't take
care of myself, but it was nice to have dinner with her. Apparently her aunt left a note saying that she would be in the city clubbing. My
parents are gone. I have no idea where they went. I tried to find them again this morning, but no luck.
I'm so tired. I'm worried about mom and dad and on top of that I still have all the chores to do. I'm too worried to do chores. I just can't
believe they would do this.
Lana and I are headed for the city. We're taking a sample of the lemonade to
Chloe so she can have it analyzed.
~
01:13 am - With a little help from our friend.
Lana and I went to the city to have the lemonade analyzed. We won't know what it is until tomorrow. It was so great to
see Chloe again. Lana and I met her at Chloe's cousin's apartment. We stayed for a few hours.
Chloe seems really happy. I wanted to say that I was
sorry for almost kissing her at the dance, but there didn't seem to be any appropriate time to do it. I can't even remember why I suddenly
thought of that. It was probably when I saw Chloe and Lana kiss. They are so happy together. I felt guilty that I had, even for one moment,
thought of Chloe as more than just a friend. Not that I did that. I just got caught up in the moment.
We ate out and talked about what's been going on in town. Sometimes it just takes a good brainstorm session with multiple heads to figure
things out.
When Lana and I got back in town we found a street party going on. Even mom and dad were there. I asked them where they had gone, but quickly
told them I didn't need to know when they started to talk about motel rooms. The adults had set up a beer garden in the center of main
street only instead of beer they were giving away lemonade.
I ran into my best friend Pete and he, Lana and a few other friends of ours watched the adults. We managed to convince most of them to go home
and get some rest. It was chaos.
Now I'm at home, and mom and dad are finally in bed. I went over to the mansion after my parents fell asleep, to check on Mr. K. He'd been
acting weird, too. He was acting real goofy and tried to pick a fight with me. I don't think he was serious. I know he was just kidding
around, but it was so annoying that he wasn't acting like he normally does. I like him the way he is normally.
While I was there I stopped in the Troy room. I miss Lex a lot. I know it's only been a few days, but I really wish he was here. I can't
even talk to him. I miss his voice.
~
11:05 pm - Mom and dad
... have a hang over and Feegan was acting like a twelve year old.
Things are almost back to normal. The lemonade was spiked. Chloe called to say that the meteor rocks had something to do with it. I had to
watch my parents and Lana's aunt Nell, and Chloe's father. Once I got the lemonade away from them, I put my parents to bed. They were acting
like twelve year olds.
It was so weird, having them all act like children. I know one thing for sure, I am not having kids.
After they trashed the house, played my CDs and drove the truck into the side of the barn I finally got them to settle down.
Chloe explained why only the adults were changed by the lemonade. I drank some of it on the first day, but all it gave me was a stomach
ache. It's all gone now. I'm still trying to figure out what to tell Lex. It turns out the lemonade powder was made in level three at the
plant Lex owns. They used meteors somehow to alter the powder. I wonder if they knew what it would do.
I went over to the mansion last night because I knew Feegan was infected as well. I had to practically wrestle him up to his room. Once I
tackled him and convinced him to get in his bed (he was pouting all the way), he calmed down. Tonight, when I went over to see how he was
doing, he was overly apologetic. I promised to talk to Lex about what happened and to explain everything. I have a feeling that getting red
flames painted on the side of Lex's favorite black Porsche isn't the only thing Feegan did. I don't want Feegan to get in trouble so I took
the car. Unfortunately the body shop was closed so I have to wait until tomorrow to bring it in. I kind of like the flames. They look cool.
Mom and dad are in bed. They're both exhausted, but at least they are completely back to normal. I overheard them tell each other that they
were to never discuss what they did while under the influence. Neither of them has said anything about it. I think that's for the best.
The house is back to normal, too. And I need sleep.
Dick is arriving tomorrow at around ten AM. I have to go to bed so I can get up early to do the chores.
I wish I could talk to Lex.
~
09:21 am - I am so excited
It's so cool to have Dick here. I had to fight my mom and dad to get them to agree. I didn't tell anybody this at all
since I was afraid Dick would say that he didn't want to cause problems. I've never been allowed to have anybody stay over. It's always been
"what if somebody sees you use your abilities?" Dad is usually the one who argues it and mom just gives me sympathetic looks, and says 'Your
father has a point.' It's annoying, but this time I bugged dad relentlessly. I pointed out that I could refrain from using my abilities.
Once that agreement was reached he finally relented. I even agreed to take any punishment if I break my promise. So far I have not once used
a single ability, not even x-ray. It's kind of cool. I feel almost normal.
Yesterday I went to the airport just outside of Metropolis to pick Dick up. I didn't really have much of a choice except to the use the car
that Feegan had detailed. It was the coolest ride ever. I thought it looked awesome. They did such a great job with the flames and it kind
of looked like the car was on fire. Unfortunately Dick and I had to drop it off at the body shop to have it repainted. Frank said they would
be finished by today. He glared at me when I told him it was supposed to have been a present for the owner, since the plate said LEX 01 it
was kind of hard to hide who it belonged to, I told him I realized said owner would probably not appreciate the gesture. Frank promised not
to tell Lex. He was so disappointed that I was having it repainted since he felt it was his best work ever. He also commented that he never
gets to work on such a fine car. I felt bad for him.
I know Lex wouldn't appreciate something like that. He'd probably be horrified. He'd most likely think I was tacky for liking it. I get the
feeling sometimes that he thinks that about the way I dress. I never ask him so I don't really know if it's true, but he's always dressed so
well that I can imagine my K-mart wardrobe isn't exactly to his taste. It's not like I can help it. I hate picking out my clothes and I
trust mom. Besides, it is mom and dad's money that pays for my things which is not to say I don't pick things out for myself. I always tell
mom if I don't like something. Maybe I should start picking my own things.
Every since my dad told me about being an alien a small part of me feels like I'm intruding on their lives. I cause so much havoc for them.
There are so many fears and I can see it in their eyes. Like with Dick; I know my parents don't want to rob me of experiences that all my
other friends have, like something as simple as a friend visiting, but at the same time I can see where they are coming from.
Last night Dick and I just hung out and shot some hoops. We talked a little about Bruce and Lex. It's kind of weird because Dick is now with
Bruce and Lex was with Bruce. I am really trying not to feel uncomfortable about that since I think Dick is a real cool guy, but my brain
goes places now that it never would have gone before I met Lex.
It was so cool to have somebody over that I could talk to and show things to. This morning I showed Dick how to milk a cow. I never realized
how much fun that would be. I think he got more milk on his shirt then he did in the bucket. Once he got the hang of it he managed to get
enough out of Fredricka (that was what he named the cow), to have a breakfast of milk and pancakes. Mom is calling me right now to go down
for it.
I wanted to think about so many other things, but I'm being a bad host. Lana emailed, telling me she would entertain Dick so Lex and I could
have time alone, but I really don't feel right about leaving Dick with somebody he hardly knows. Lex will be back soon.
Dick and I have to go into town to get the car back. I stressed to the guy at the body shop that I needed it ASAP and he agreed to open just
long enough for me to get the car. I figured Dick and I can hang out at the Talon for a while and that way he can meet some other people
while he's here. I don't want him to get bored.
Breakfast smells so nice. I can't wait to eat. I am so hungry.
~
11:10 am - Guest falls for me.
Dick is having a shower. He fell in the mud (and other things) this morning when we were trying to clean a mess by the
side of the barn. It was so funny. I laughed my ass off then he splashed me. I've had other stuff on me before so I just kept laughing.
We had such a great time yesterday. He's so cool about helping out with the chores. I think mom is as happy as I am to have him here. He's
so cool.
Dick and I spent most of yesterday walking around fields and just enjoying the nice weather. We ran an errand for a friend first, and then
walked out to the windmill. It was nice to just sit and look out at the town. I pointed out all the landmarks, not that our town has many,
but you can see the mansion from there. We talked about the things we like. I think he is having a really nice time. I'm so glad since I was
worried that he would be bored, but I can tell he likes the change.
Dad gave us the worst chores yesterday. I know he did it on purpose so that we'd be occupied for hours. Dick never once complained. I think Dad
is just punishing me.
After dinner we crashed in the loft and talked a little about stars and farming. We were both so tired last night that we just passed out in
the loft; me in the hammock and Dick on the sofa. Dick is so nice. He never once complained about any of the things dad made us do. I warned him
that it won't end. Looks like Dad plans on testing Dick. He does that sometimes.
Later today Dick and I will be making the Monday deliveries together. First we have to check the orders and pick and sort them. That should be
fun.
I can't wait to see Lex. I am so anxious right now; I'm typing a mile a minute. Dick and I are heading over to Pete's place. I haven't had a
chance to go by and see him since he's been back.
~
12:39 am - I have had the best day ever.
Dick and I went over to hang with Pete. They got along great. We played two-on-two basketball. Pete's brother joined
us. It was so much fun. I had a blast and I know Dick did, too.
After we got back dad wasted no time putting us to work. Dick and I picked the produce orders and then delivered them, which meant the
mansion! We got into a tomato fight which was totally Dick's fault, sort of. Dad was not amused. I had a blast. I feel so free with Dick.
I finally got to see Lex. I was so excited and thrilled. After we dropped off the delivery, Dick said a brief hello to Lex and left us
alone. I practically jumped Lex when the door closed. I held him forever, and then I got on my knees and sucked him off. I needed to touch
him. He was so tired that he came really fast.
Unfortunately I had to rush off since I had my guest waiting in the truck. As soon as we got home dad put us to work. He has no shame. I
begged him to back off when Dick was out of earshot, but he gave me his patented 'You know better, son.' look. I totally know better. Dad is
so annoying some times. Dick was fine with it. He's so cool. I love having him here.
He's asleep now. I think we tired him out again. We talked for a while in the loft. I'm here now since Dick is asleep in my bed. There was
no way I was going to let my guest sleep on the sofa.
~
10:07 pm
There is so much time and so many things to do. Between dirt biking with Pete and Dick and then going for a swim in
Lex's pool, I went nonstop yesterday.
This morning Dick and I woke up in the loft again. We totally crashed after the day we had. Dad gave us the afternoon off so we immediately
left the farm in case he changed his mind. I was thrilled that we finally would have almost a whole day together. We walked through fields.
When we hit that field where it happened last year I actually told Dick about the scarecrow thing. I hadn't really told anybody about it. I
guess it's easier now that it's in the past.
I reassured him that things were cool between Whitney and me and that it was totally in the past and forgotten. After that we went over to
hang with Pete and do some dirt bike riding. The truth is I still have nightmares about it every once in a while. I've mostly forgotten
about it, but the helplessness I felt on that cross haunts me.
We cleaned up and went over to hang at the Talon. Lana was working so we talked with her and drank tons of coffee. It was really nice and
relaxing, and nice to see Dick getting along with all my friends. Lex showed up and invited us all to go swimming. Pete had to get home, but
the rest of us went.
The pool was so refreshing. As soon as we arrived Lex swam laps but Dick and I were too disruptive for him to keep swimming so he just sat
poolside. He looked amazing in his black bathing suit. The only thing that stopped me from drooling right there was embarrassment.
Dick is so cool. He urged me to go spend time with Lex, but with people there I just couldn't or at least I thought I couldn't. Eventually I
did go sit with Lex while Lana and Dick talked on the other side of the pool. They seemed to be having a really nice conversation. I'm not
sure what they talked about and I didn't ask Dick about it today.
I couldn't figure out what was wrong with Lex. Sometimes when he talks it's like he's speaking another language and I feel lost or maybe
like I'm not getting some double meaning. Like at the poolside. He'd say that he noticed that Dick and I are getting along, which seems fine
but then his tone is weird. I thought maybe he was implying that Dick and I were doing sexual things together. But that didn't seem right. I
wasn't sure what to say so I tried to reassure Lex without actually coming out and accusing him of implying something more.
I get confused even thinking about it. I can't imagine why Lex thinks anything more is going on between us. Dick is my friend and we're
having a great time. I didn't know what else to say so I just changed the subject to how great Lex looked. He always looks so good. I get so
excited when we're together. I felt daring so I touched Lex with Dick and Lana right there. Not that they were hovering over us watching or
anything. I had my back to them so I couldn't see if they saw, but I still felt self-conscious.
Lex and I even kissed. When Lex kisses me I usually get weak in the knees, this time with no exceptions. Thank goodness I was lying down on
a lawn chair. Eventually we sneaked into the pool change room and I begged him to suck me off. I was so hard and I couldn't help it. He
forced me to say it, and it just felt so awesome to have him touch me, and put him mouth on me like that.
When he was done we practically collapsed right there. I even got up the nerve to ask him if I could suck him off. I can't believe I did
that with my friends just a few feet away.
Dick and I left shortly after that and gave Lana a drive home.
Today I showed Dick the school and mainly the Torch office. He asked a few questions about Lana and Chloe. I found out that Lana told him
about her and Chloe's dating status. I also showed him the football field where I almost played in a game. I didn't tell him the reason I
missed the game was because I was locked in the sauna with meteor rocks. Dick doesn't know about my abilities.
Again I am left to wonder if he'd even be my friend if he did know. He seems like a pretty cool guy but a lot of people seem cool until they
are faced with something freaky.
At least I don't have to find out. I haven't used my abilities at all since he came. I was so ecstatic that I have kept my end of the
bargain up. When I told dad today he just grunted and went on with his work. Sometimes I wonder if he really is proud of me.
Tonight Dick got a phone call from Bruce. He seemed really down after the call. I wasn't sure what to say or do. He asked if he could spend
some time on line checking on Gotham. I think maybe something happened that he's not telling me about.
It seems like I've failed to keep Dick happy and worst of all I think Lex is unhappy, too. I thought about it a lot today and ever since he
came back he's been off. He seems angry that I'm having a good time and so far we've had two sexual encounters and both times everything
seemed fine while it was happening but then after the high wore off I felt lost.
I feel unsure and I don't know what I did wrong. I can't talk to anybody about it because I feel like maybe I'm blowing things out of
proportions. Maybe I'm seeing things that aren't there and maybe Lex is just tired from all the work he's been doing. I can't imagine how
much it must take to get a new business off the ground.
I feel tense now and I can't run because then I'd be breaking my promise. Maybe I should ask Dick what he does to bleed off tension. A part
of me wants to run over to the mansion and demand that Lex stop being weird, but then I just know I'll be wrong and make a total idiot out
of myself.
I think I'll take a shower and think it over. Dick has sort of withdrawn. I should just tell him he can go home. I probably bored him enough
already.
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Disclaimer: Smallville is owned by DC Comics.