08:39 am
Okay, so it wasn't a perfect night, but at least we got some time alone.
Most of the last day of the year was fine, quiet. Dad and I did work. I can't wait to get back to school on Monday. Dad
is driving me nuts with all his extra attention, trying to prove that he still cares about me and that nothing has changed just because I'm
gay.
At breakfast he apologized, again, for the strip club incident. Mom glared at him. It was kind of funny. My best friend Pete stopped in for
a few hours. We promised that we'd spend more time together in the New Year. I haven't had much time to spend with him and he knows that
farm work can pile up (pun intended). I didn't tell Pete about the club. There was no way I was going to explain that one to him.
After dinner I went up to the loft to be alone. I wasn't sure if Lex was going to come by but later in the evening he finally showed up. It
went as well as can be expected. I'm not sure how long Lex and Dad talked before I ran out to rescue
Lex from my father's wrath. They were
nose to nose and Dad had grabbed Lex by the shirt, but I got there before anything else could happen. I know Dad would never have hurt him,
but I'm still glad I was there to intervene.
Everything is fine. I didn't ask for details last night and this morning Dad just sort of grunted at me when he came down for breakfast.
He's out in the barn right now, doing morning chores. No market today since it's a holiday. At least he didn't apologize again for the club.
That would have been so annoying.
So last night Lex stayed until late with only a few interruptions from my parents. They took turns coming out to ask if we wanted anything.
It was a little humiliating and made me feel like a kid, but I guess having Lex there helped take the sting out of my parent's
overprotective attitude.
Lex and I sat and talked and even though there was no touching allowed, I broke the rule at midnight and kissed him. The first kiss was the
sweetest kiss ever. With only our lips touching, it felt electric, illicit; like I was doing something wicked. Denying my body what it
really wanted made the moment that much more sexy and sensual. Literally we only touched our lips together in passionate, open-mouthed
kisses. Although at one point Lex did touch my chest with his hand. It was such a light touch, and full of promises. I can't wait for him to
fulfill those promises.
The first thing I said after happy New Year was "I love you". I wanted those to be my first words to
Lex in this New Year. I have a feeling
that this year is going to be the best year yet for us.
I can't wait to go over to the mansion. I guess now it's going to be a lot harder to casually tell my parents that I'll be going over to see
Lex without Dad making a face or putting up a fuss.
Dear Lex
I totally love you and all those kisses last night were the best kisses in the history of kisses.
Love
CK
Happy New Year everybody!
~
10:41 am
I woke up this morning floating above my bed!
I was so horny and so happy. This time I didn't crash down to the bed as soon as I woke. I closed my eyes and waited
until I floated back down. It took forever but I don't care. I didn't want to wake anybody up and I didn't feel like banging my head even if
it is invulnerable.
I jerked off in the shower to thoughts of Lex and those kisses we shared. All it took was thinking of his warm, soft scarred lips. Then I
imagined his mouth on my cock, licking and sucking. I pretended he was on his knees in front of me, urging me to push into his eager hot
mouth. I came so hard. I had to bite my tongue so I didn't shout his name out loud. That would have been so embarrassing.
I am so happy.
Life is so awesome right now; I want to shout it to the world.
I am in love with Lex, and he's in love with me!
~
10:18 pm
What a weekend.
This is totally annoying. Dad is grating on my last nerve today. Yesterday was totally annoying. When I asked Mom and
Dad if I could go over to the mansion after dinner, Dad immediately said no way. Eventually he let me go to the Talon with Lex. Dad's is
being such a jerk. When I asked Dad if he'd treat me this way if I had told him I was secretly dating Lana all this time, he had no answer,
but at least he backed down.
Lex came by to pick me up and Dad didn't even say hello to him. Dad chose to express himself by bumping into Lex accidentally on purpose on
his way out.
Last night after an hour of coffee at the Talon and in public, we went back to the mansion and played chess. I teased Lex about the no
touching rule, asking if it applied to the mansion as well. There was no way I wasn't going to do something. I was so horny and happy. I
jumped him on the floor of his office right in front of the fireplace and sucked him off then jerked off on his chest. I love when I leave
him speechless.
I can't even believe I did it. I just thought to myself that I wasn't going to let Dad control how I act with Lex when Lex and I are alone.
My horniness level was way too high.
At least I had that for the weekend. Today was so boring. I stayed home the whole day. Dad came up with one chore after another. I think
I've fixed everything we own at least ten times today. At least dinner was quiet. I was too annoyed with Dad to talk to him. Not that I
didn't talk to him, I just didn't bother to make conversation beyond "pass the salt".
I hope that totally annoyed him. Now I'm going to read and I'm going to read gay stories just to make Dad mad. That way if he checks to see
what I'm up to, I can tell him I'm reading stories about gay people. And I know he'll check on me. He does every single night. I didn't mind
it when I was twelve, but I'm sixteen! I bet he'd check on me if I was fifty.
At least he didn't say anything about Lex today.
~
11:34 pm
Ha! Take that Dad.
Dad: Hey, son. You have school in the morning. You should probably get to sleep soon.
Me: I'm almost done here. (points at laptop.)
Dad walks into room and curiously glances at screen, asking, as I knew he would, what his son is doing.
Me: It's just some stories I found that talk about being gay.
Look on Dad's face: priceless.
Oh and the no touching rule does not extend to the mansion. The mansion is a touch zone and Saturday night I not only touched, I sucked and
made things wet and sticky and Lex loved it! Do I even have to say that I enjoyed every second?
~
06:00 pm
I should have listened to Pete.
A C+ in shop class isn't too bad. It brings my grade down a little. I hate that we have to take shop class. I already
know how to use all the tools. Anyway, I'm just whining now.
I sort of sneaked a peek at our grades in class today. Pete did really well, but I think this one guy in my class who usually gets nothing
but 'A's on everything is going to be really upset when he sees what mark he got.
I stayed a little late to hang with Pete since he was going to the Talon for a while. When I got home Dad was just getting back from doing
the produce deliveries. I usually do them and it totally slipped my mind. Dad didn't mind, but I didn't get to see
Lex. I'll have to see Lex
tomorrow or something.
Now I have to do some homework.
~
09:30 pm
This day started off so well, but the it went completely wrong.
My Dad broke his leg today. He tried to fix the tractor on his own and it fell on his leg and broke one of the bones.
His doctor already sent him home so he's up in bed resting.
I wish Dad wouldn't take everything on all on his own. I wasn't there because I helped
Lana move into Chloe's home. They're living together. I'm
so jealous. They looked anxious to get rid of me once we'd unloaded the last box. I'm sure they wanted to be alone so they could celebrate.
I wish my Dad would be as accepting of me as Chloe's Dad is of her lifestyle choice.
At least I got to see Lex, even if it was for only a few minutes. Right after I found Dad I immediately called Mom and then
Lex. He was at
some event, but he came to the hospital as soon as he could. I found him talking to Dad's doctor. I couldn't resist the urge to tease my
boyfriend about his golf club rampage. It happened right in the middle of Main Street and I think ten people told me about it by the time I
went home to get the truck to help with the move. I wish somebody had gotten pictures. I would kill to see them.
Lex is so darn cute sometimes. I wish I could have kissed him right there in the hallway right in front of Dr. Bryce. That would have been
so much fun. The little smirk on his face when he told me about his encounter with the windshield of a meter maid's car was so cute and hot.
Unfortunately I was on my way out to take my Dad's things to the truck.
I have to go to bed really early tonight so I can get up to do all the morning chores before I go to school.
Back to my friends moving in together.
On my way home I was thinking of how cool it is that they are dating and Chloe's father allowed
Lana to move in with them. Is it because they're
girls? I'm really jealous of them now. I keep thinking about how happy they looked as we moved
Lana's things into her new bedroom.
Maybe I'll leave some things over at Lex's; a toothbrush, some underwear. I wonder if he'd let me have an underwear drawer? Or maybe our
underwear could play in the same drawer. That would be almost like moving in. I could leave my boxer shorts and briefs there and some socks.
That would be cool. I'd make sure they were clean.
I miss Lex and I want to wake up next to him. I know Lana and Chloe have separate rooms, but I am willing to bet the farm that they will sneak
into each other's rooms late at night.
With my Dad out of commission it's going to be a really long week. Mom has been so busy with Mr. Big and her other job that I'm probably
going to end up having to do all my chores and all of Dad's chores. Yuck, I can't wait. I just rolled my eyes in case you didn't catch the
sarcasm.
~
11:56 am
I can't believe her.
This is unbelievable. They just moved in together and what did I see today in the hallway at school, Ian kissed
Lana and
she let him! On top of that, when I asked her about it she told me to back off.
Last night I stopped by the Talon to let Lana know that since my Dad broke his leg I wouldn't be able to help her study for math. I found Ian
talking to Chloe. When I asked him about shop class he told me he'd gotten a really good grade. I know this isn't true. Our teacher gave Ian a
hard time in class about his project.
Then when I had to beg off the study session with Lana, Ian stepped in and offered to help her out. And now
Lana is going to see a movie with
Ian.
This is crazy. Chloe can't be happy about this.
I spent all morning doing the chores since Dad needs to rest. Even though I told him and my Mom that I can take care of that part of things,
Mom still insisted on staying home from her other job. Dad told her to go to work and that he could handle things. My Dad is the most
stubborn man I have ever known.
Pete has to bug me about Lana. I am not jealous just because I want to look out for my friends. I just can't believe
Lana would make a date with
this guy. I guess she can't really say she's already seeing somebody, but she could have said no. Now
Chloe is mad at me as well. I tried to
warn her and she told me to back off.
I want to keep out of things, but this time I just can't. I care about
Lana and Chloe no matter what. I know they're allowed to make friends
with other guys besides me. It just stings that they would both brush me off like this when all I have is their best interests in mind.
Back to class. At least shop was cancelled. Our teacher didn't show up.
~
10:37 am
Freaky things are afoot
Ian is up to something for sure and Pete and I are going to catch him at it. I don't care if he has an alibi in Chloe.
Pete and I found our shop class teacher dead and Ian tried to kill us. Luckily I managed to throw myself over Pete and he didn't get hurt,
but I saw Ian. I don't care that he and Chloe say he was with her the whole time.
Now Lana and Chloe are mad at me. I'm going to set Ian up. I have a good idea how he managed to be in two places at once. I think he has an
accomplice or a twin he hasn't told anybody about.
~
06:15 pm
Ugh, that was totally gross
When Ian threw Chloe over the edge of the dam I didn't even pause. On top of that when I hit the ground I felt no pain
at all. At least Chloe and Lana are both okay. I did feel bad that I used them for bait but Pete and I needed to prove to them that Ian was
tricking them.
And free falling wasn't so bad. I didn't even have enough time to think about how high up I was and what I was doing anyway so I barely
remember what it was like.
Everything turned out fine except for Ian's other half falling to his death. I have no idea how he made another him. It probably has
something to do with the meteor rocks.
Now I have to go meet Chloe and Lana at the Talon. They called and said they want to talk to me. It had better be to tell me they're sorry.
I was right about Ian all along and they totally blew me off. Not that I'm going to rub their noses in it or anything, but still, they
didn't even give me the benefit of the doubt. I still can't believe they would do that to me.
Now to go see what Chloe and Lana want. I sense this is not going to be good.
~
11:38 am
I feel so good this morning.
After the nice talk I had with Lana and Chloe, where they both said they were sorry for not trusting me, I went to see
Lex. I snuck into his bedroom without anybody catching me. Once I was inside I called him on his cell and told him he needed to get some
rest because he works too hard. I wanted to surprise him but he was stubborn until he figured out with a few hints from me that I was
waiting for him in his bed, naked.
Lex is so sexy. I keep falling in love with him over and over again. Every time he puts up with me and my stupid lies and my antics I can't
even believe that he wants me.
I feel kind of crappy this morning because I absent-mindedly said at breakfast that I forgot my cell phone at Lex's place in Lex's bedroom.
Dad was not thrilled. He looked like he was going to blow a gasket but Mom gave him 'the look' and instead of getting angry he told me I
should have told them where I was going. I did tell them I was going to meet with Lana and Chloe at the Talon. Going to the mansion was just
a sudden decision. Of course Dad thinks I should have called from the Talon to let them know that I was going to see Lex.
I felt like a freaking child. Why do I have to tell them every single second of my day? Earlier I called Dad to let him know that I was
about to go to English class. He was not amused. He told me that is not what he meant and that I should stop being a brat. I told him he
should stop treating me like a child and then I hung up the phone. I probably shouldn't have done that, but he's being a jerk.
I don't care. I had the most amazing time ever. Before last night it felt as though Lex and I hadn't had time alone in ages. I was starved
for affection. Maybe that is exaggerating but after we had the most amazing intimate moment ever, I felt at peace. I told Lex that I am very
sure of us as a couple. I wanted him to know that nothing would make me change my mind. Maybe I didn't say it that way exactly. My brain was
kind of fizzled from having Lex straddle me and strip while on top of me. His kisses were incredibly sexy and I thought for sure I would
come before we had a chance to do anything else. But I held out until I was finally inside him and it lasted more than a few minutes.
He is so tight and warm and so amazing. I think about how good he felt last night and I get hard, which, while I'm in class, is not a good
thing.
I won't call Dad to let him know I'm about to go to gym class. I bet that would just make him drive to school and smack me in the head.
In a way it's kind of amusing. Even though he claims he'd do the same thing if I was dating a girl, I still think it mostly has to do with
Lex. I think it's time I forced Dad to face my choice and to accept it.
~
09:53 pm
This has been the most annoying day on the planet.
My dad and I are sort of at war. Last night I went to the mansion to get my cell phone I left in
Lex's bed. I went over
to be with my boyfriend and to give both of us some time alone. It's been such a rough week all around and I needed him.
At breakfast the next day I accidentally let it slip that I forgot my phone in
Lex's bed. Dad's eyes started to twitch. It does this twitchy
thing when he gets really mad and he's trying not to yell. It's not pretty. I took a few steps back from him, I was that afraid. I was half
asleep at the time and my mouth runneth over.
Anyway so after dinner last night I went to get the phone back. Lex was in his office, as always, and we only had a short time together. I
can't even remember what we talked about. It was sure not about my Dad. We kissed and every kiss totally made my toes curl.
Today I have been working non-stop and after that non-stop work I did homework then I went over to the neighbors' and fulfilled some of my
Dad's promised labor for them. They are a little older and need some help sometimes because their son moved to the city. (Totally not
interesting at all). After that I bored Mom to death with babble about how I wish Dad would accept my choice. Dad was asleep at the time.
That was a one-hour conversation in which I rambled with lots of arm flailing and potato peels flying everywhere. Mom needed my help in the
kitchen for a bit, and then I went out to do some more chores. Then I sat in the barn for a while and thought about the implications of
black holes. Are they real?
Tonight I plan on staying in the barn and not talking to Dad at all. I only talked to him when he spoke directly to me and only if I
absolutely had to. Besides, the sky is so clear and I think I'm going to gaze at the stars.
That was my totally boring and uneventful day. I feel like I'm talking to myself all the time now. I probably am. I keep catching myself
saying things like 'It's not that bad.' Or 'He'll come around.' but after the last week I'm beginning to think that maybe Dad isn't going to
accept this so easily. He's sort of accepted it. He's not ordering me to stop dating
Lex. That is a start. I think today maybe I just made
things worse.
Tomorrow I think I'll take a new stance. I'm not sure what it will be, but not talking to Dad hurts.
~
10:25 am
Nothing has changed.
I didn't spend much time with Dad yesterday. We sort of stayed in our respective corners for almost the whole day. At
dinner time we mostly ate in silence with Mom talking about what she needs to do this week. Her other job is going to demand some more of
her time. I told her not to worry, that I could take care of things.
Dad seems to be getting around on those crutches really fast. Not sure how he's pulling that off, but I'm glad he's healing quick. At dinner
we joked that by the time he's healed I will have taken over the farm completely. The subject of
Lex didn't come up once all day.
This morning I woke up very early and did every single chore, but I just know I'm going to come home to find Dad outside doing something. He
hates to sit around with nothing to do. He says it makes him feel useless and I can understand that. Today Mom is going to be in meetings so
we menfolk have to fend for ourselves. That means I have to make dinner. That should be very interesting. Maybe I'll just order in pizza.
This morning school was really quiet. Not sure why. I actually managed to catch the bus and Pete and I talked about going out on motorbikes
in the next few weeks. I miss just hanging with him. He said he's got a new girl. I do not know how he keeps up with it. When we saw
Lana in
the hallway and said hello to her, Pete nudged me and told me to hurry up before somebody else snags her. I just rolled my eyes and told him
that Lana and I are only friends and nothing more. I actually told him that Lana has told me she does not like me that way, but Pete did not let
up. I let him ramble because I know it makes him feel good. Besides, it's not like he knows not to bug me about it so I can't really get mad
at the guy.
I didn't get to see Lex much this weekend. I may not get to see him today. I'll have to give him a call to let him know how busy I'm going
to be.
Back to the grindstone. We have a gym teacher for shop class today. I don't think I mentioned that Pete and I found our original shop
teacher dead.
Hopefully this week will be a better week.
~
11:25 pm
What do I do now?
I give up. Dad is never going to accept my choice. It's not that he says bad things about
Lex all the time. He just
makes this face when I talk about Lex. I don't even think he even realizes he's doing it.
Tonight, when Dad came up to the loft to talk about Lex, I rushed off and told him I needed to study over at Pete's. I just wasn't in the
mood to hear him slam my boyfriend.
Maybe tomorrow things will be better. I can keep hoping.
~
10:17 pm
It was just coffee at the Talon.
It's not like it was a real date, but Lex looked so relaxed with her. He looked like he was having fun. He can do that
with Dr. Bryce and in public. He can do that with me but not the same way.
I watched them for a minute and Lex seemed so relaxed. I haven't been able to spend time with him because of what's happening at home. I'm
always either in school or doing farm work.
I know I can trust Lex, but there is this little tiny voice in my head that thinks that maybe he'd prefer somebody he could take out in
public. With Dr. Bryce he wouldn't have to hide.
She's probably really smart and doesn't have a dad who would hate Lex. She's really pretty, too, and has a really nice smile. The way she
smiled at Lex made me think that maybe she wants him.
I know I can trust Lex and I know Lex won't do anything but when I saw them together a little part of me felt betrayed. It's stupid and I
have no reason at all to feel this way, but there it is.
Now that I see it in writing, it's pretty dumb. I love Lex and he loves me and he's not into her that way. He's into me that way. I wish I
could touch him right now but after a million chores I feel like crashing.
~
09:53 pm
What a day.
This is not good. Somebody at school outed Chloe and Lana. Gym class sucked. I had so many guys ask me if I've seen
them kiss I was ready to punch somebody out. This is so not good.
I didn't have a chance to talk to either of them because I had to run home fast. I had to do chores since Dad still can't go very far. We
finally had a talk about how his attitude is hurting me. At first I didn't want to talk about it. I ran to the storm cellar to look at the
ship. Dad followed me and we talked. I feel weird about it. Part of me feels that maybe we haven't made any progress but Dad did promise to
try harder to accept that I'm with Lex. I hope he keeps his promise.
At least I got to do the deliveries. I totally shocked Lex when I walked into his office and locked the door so I could get on my knees in
front of him and suck his cock. It felt so good to just suck him off. I loved it and all I kept thinking was that he is with me and that Lex
loves me and that I can do this to him any time I want.
He returned the favor and it felt even better to have his mouth on me. He's so good at sucking me off. I came fast. I can't help it. When
his warm mouth and tongue work their magic it takes no time and it feels like it's been forever since we've done anything sexual.
Or at least it seems like it's been a long time. It's probably just my overactive hormones.
After we cleaned up we had a snack and talked for a little while. I miss him already even though I was just over there. I wanted to call
Lana and Chloe to see how they're doing, but I don’t feel like talking to them. They probably need time.
~
10:36 pm
Take that!
Next time Lex has coffee with Doctor Bryce, and he sees me, I hope he thinks
of my cock in his mouth. In fact, I hope he thinks of my cock all the time.
Okay now that is making me think of his cock. I must jerk off several times out in the barn so I can shout his name.
~
09:08 pm
I could never imagine the whole town knowing.
But that's what happened to my friends. The town knows about them dating. Chloe and Lana were outed and apparently Pete
did the outing. I can't believe Pete would do that. I just can't believe he would. Pete knows how to keep a secret; at least I hope he does.
Poor Chloe and Lana. They're all anybody talked about all weekend. Dad asked if I knew about this before and I had to tell him I knew. He
told me he was proud of me for being there for my friends.
I spent Friday afternoon with Chloe. She got into a fight at school with some girl and Chloe punched her. She's suspended for a few days
from classes. I hope her dad wasn't too hard on her. She was so upset and I didn't want her to be alone so I went with her to the Talon. She
said she didn't want to change what she does just because of what happened.
I haven't been able to talk to Pete because he went away for the weekend, but as soon as I see him, I'm going to get to the bottom of this.
I know he'd never do this. He's never told anybody my secret. I just can't imagine him doing this to Chloe and Lana. Chloe was pretty
convinced that it was him so maybe I misjudged Pete. Maybe finding out that the girl Pete thought was 'the girl of my dreams' had a
girlfriend freaked him out.
Chloe and I had a great time at the Talon. She's so brave. I don't know if I could be that brave. The idea of the whole town knowing that
I'm gay and that I'm with Lex scares me. I know with me it's a lot different than with Chloe and Lana because Lex is older than me and I'm
only sixteen. There's no way anybody could ever find out about Lex. People wouldn't understand. If my own father doesn't understand and he
sees how happy Lex makes me, I can't imagine that my neighbors would. Pete for sure would never get it.
Last night Lana stopped by. She was a wreck. I wanted to hold her tight and protect her from everything. I felt this overwhelming urge to
keep her safe. This is not something I'd ever admit to anybody except I can write it here. I wanted to kiss her and tell her I'd keep her
safe forever. I can't ever tell Lex or my parents or Lana. It's not that I want to for real; I just felt this urge in the moment when she
was in my arms and crying on my shoulder to keep her safe. I think I was even a little attracted to her. I felt so horrible after she left.
I felt like I'd cheated on Lex but I didn't do anything. I just thought stuff. That's not cheating at all, but I felt like I did. I should
tell Lex about it. I probably will. I'm just going to wait for the right time to say it.
It's not that I want to be with Lana. I don't. I know she loves Chloe. I feel so bad just writing it here. I told Lana about Dad finding
out. I needed to tell somebody else. She was so shocked.
I tried to reassure Lana that things will work out and that her aunt will love her no matter what. She seemed to think that her Aunt Nell
won't understand. I hope she does. I hate to see Lana so upset. It's not fair that this happened to her and Chloe. This was not something
anybody else had any right to tell. When I talk to Pete, I'm totally giving him a piece of my mind. He's going to hear it from me for sure
if he really had something to do with this.
Chloe is glad it's all out in the open and Lana wants to hide from the world. How did they end up together when their views are so
different? I hope they can work this all out and I hope that they don't break up over it. Lana seemed so unsure.
After Lana and I talked we popped popcorn and watched a Keanu movie. I didn't know what else to say to her. She stayed until she almost fell
asleep and then went home. I think if it happened to me I'd probably hide out too, until it all blew over. Chloe has a lot of guts. I hope
she realizes how lucky she is to have Lana.
Now I have to call Lex and tell him about everything. I was so busy with farm chores and work today that I barely had a chance to breathe. I
hope he forgives me.
~
10:27 am
I don't understand what happened
I just talked to Pete and he says he did not spread the rumors that Chloe and Lana are dating.
Two of my best friends were outed last week and all hell broke loose as they became town gossip. Lana is totally freaking out and Chloe is
glad it's out in the open. I confronted Pete this morning in front of our lockers and he says he only found out just last week along with
the rest of the class.
We ducked into an empty class room when he asked how long I've known then he flipped that I knew all along and didn't tell him. I tried to
tell him it was not my secret to tell. He's mad that Chloe kept this from him. He's also mad because he adores Chloe and has always held out
hope that they'd be able to get together.
I tried to appease him, but then he started getting on me about always letting him talk about Lana and me as if we were this huge love meant
to be. He even asked if I was gay. I lied. I didn't exactly deny it but I told him being friends with somebody who is gay doesn't mean
you'll be gay. He took that to mean no. I almost told. I might have felt better but then this isn't about me feeling better and Pete was in
mourning for his lost chance with Chloe. It wasn't the right time to do that to him.
I believed Pete when he says he had nothing to do with it but then in gym class I overheard a few of the guys from the football team talking
and they point blank said Pete was the one who broke the news. I don't know what to think. I've never known Pete to lie to me, but there's
always a first time for everything. Maybe he was so hurt at finding out that he'd never have a chance with Chloe that he felt the need to
lash out.
I wanted to talk to Lex about all of this but I can't seem to find the time or the courage. I'll see him today during deliveries and we can
talk. The possibility of us ever being outed is there. Maybe it's something we need to consider, just in case.
I miss him. I can't wait to see him and touch him and kiss his lips. All weekend I kept thinking about how lucky I am to have him in my life
and how even after all the stupid stuff I've done he's still willing to have me in his life.
~
03:17 pm
Arghghgh
I could totally punch somebody's lights out right now!
I had a really nice lunch with Lana at the Torch. We stayed there together so she wouldn't have to listen to all the garbage people are
spouting about her. She's so upset and shaken up, I wish there was something I could do for her.
Right after lunch I walked her to her next class and as I left to get to my own class, Brent confronted her. The stuff he said to her! I can
not even imagine that Whitney would be happy to know that his friend treated Lana that way. I was so furious I almost cracked his head in. I
wanted to.
Lana couldn't take it anymore so she left. I finally calmed down. I should have gone with her but she said she'd be okay. She said that she
needed to do work at the Talon and that I couldn't be there for her every second. I did need to get to class but still, I wanted to be there
for her.
At least I stopped Brent from continuing his verbal assault. Who knows where that could have led? It might have gotten ugly had I not
stepped in. He was all crowding her and pushing her into the lockers. How could anybody treat her that way?
~
02:28 pm
Things can only get better
I finally got to see Lex last night. I had to do deliveries and when I went to his office I made sure to lock the door
so we'd have privacy. I needed to talk to him about what happened with Lana and Chloe. It seems like Pete really did out them. I can't
believe it, but all evidence points to that being the case. I feel so bad for Lana and Chloe. Lana's still not handling it well, but I saw
her this morning in the hall talking to her friend Beth, so at least she has somebody to support her. Chloe is still suspended.
Lex and I talked and he reassured me that our situation would never get out. He has it covered and I trust him. I do not trust anybody else
at this point and I can only hope that all the people that do know will keep the knowledge to themselves.
Lex was so wonderful and he made me feel so good. I wanted to be closer to him and I missed him so much. At least we got a few moments
alone. We can always get complete privacy at the mansion. Now whenever I go over I always lock the door just in case we do something we
don't want anybody to walk in on. This time we did something for sure that I wouldn't want anybody to walk in on. I sucked him off on my
knees right there in his office, and he jerked me off and it felt so good. It wasn't just physically good, it was emotionally good. It was
as though he seared his soul onto mine. That's how I feel when he watches me. His eyes see deep into me. They must know my truths. He must
know what I really am. Sometimes I imagine that he does and he's just keeping it from me because he knows that I'm afraid. It's like I know
deep down that he sees me for what I really am and he's just waiting for me to let him in completely.
I feel so safe and comfortable around him. I feel like I can almost be totally me. I think I grabbed his shoulders too hard. I might have
bruised him, but I didn't care because at the time when he was holding me in his hand and looking at me with his all-knowing eyes all I
wanted was for him to be my whole world.
I told him that I love him and he said ditto. I love when he says ditto. It's like a secret code between us. He could even say it in public
and nobody but us would know what it meant.
His touch makes my skin tingle, and I tingle when I think of his hand on my cock. I feel so irrational sometimes about this one thing.
Last night after I got home I sat down to dinner and all I could think about was how Lex touched me and how he looked at me and how he
thrust deep into my mouth. It was a very quiet dinner. After that I did chores. Dad came out later to talk to me about Lana and Chloe. He
asked me to watch out for them and I reassured him I was already watching out for them.
At least it was one moment of happiness for Lex and me. I just wish the town would get over Lana and Chloe so they can go back to things the
way they were. I guess that's asking too much. Things will never go back the way they were. Why can't people just mind their own business?
Most of the talk has died down and none of the guys have asked stupid questions today. Nobody ever really talked to me before so that's not
anything new. I can eat lunch with my two best friends, that is if they're even talking to each other anymore. As for Pete, I'm not sure
what to do. Lex thinks I should choose whom I believe based on what I know about them. He also pointed out that just because people say
something is true doesn't mean it is.
~
08:32 pm
I had an interesting day.
School turned out okay. Lana and I had lunch in the Torch office again. Her friend Beth joined us. Beth is really nice.
She's quiet and she's pretty. I don't know what else to say. I just hope Lana knows what she's doing. I know people can be just friends but
I also know that a while back Beth and Lana had something.
It's not my business so I'll stay out of it. I just wish Chloe and Lana would at least talk. Lana said they're sort of in their own corners
right now.
I just took Dad for a check up. Dr. Bryce said he should be fine and that he's mending really fast. I didn't tell her that he's been doing
farm chores, she just guessed. The look she gave him was so much like the look mom gives him when he's not behaving, it was funny. What
wasn't funny was that she asked me about Lex. She asked specifically if Lex was dating anybody. That was not awkward at all. Nope not in any
way shape or form. Totally awkward and I know I just lied a lot.
I had to say that I have not seen Lex with any women since Victoria was in town. Dr. Bryce is going to ask him out. I just know it. She's
going to ask and he's going to have no reason to say no. So she gets to take him out to dinner and I get to stay at home with my telescope.
Sometimes it sucks to have a secret relationship with somebody so hot. Although I don't blame her for wanting to ask
Lex out, I wish I could
have said 'sorry he's taken - by me'.
Dad gets his cast off in a few days so that's cool. I'm trying to look on the bright side.
~
03:22 pm
I was sitting in the Torch office.
Hi Lex
So I took Dad for his checkup yesterday. Dr. Bryce says he's doing great. She's a really good doctor. While I was there she asked me if you
were seeing anybody. I told her that I hadn't seen you dating any women in a long while. I think she wants to ask you out.
So I was just wondering if maybe that had happened or maybe I was just posting this to warn you ahead of time.
Anyway, you're probably really busy and don't have time to look at your journal. Just in case you see this.
Love Clark
~
10:57 pm
I trust him - I really do.
Okay, so I followed them and watched them on their date. She dressed up really nice. She looks pretty with her hair
down. And nothing happened. They just had dinner and ate and talked. I couldn't hear what they were talking about. After dinner, he drove
her home and even walked her to her front door. He's such a gentleman.
Nothing happened at all, so it's all cool. I just wish I could have been the one sitting at the table with him. I wish we could go out to
dinner without people making a fuss.
I asked him out on a date. Maybe sometimes he likes to be asked out and that's why he said yes to her.
I shot hoops all night if anybody asks. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I was home before Mom and Dad even noticed I was gone.
Maybe I shouldn't have spied on Lex. Suddenly I feel like a total fool for doing it.
~
05:42 pm
Dad got his cast off.
And while I was there I had to see Dr. Bryce since she's Dad's doctor. I happened to ask her if she asked
Lex out on a
date. She told me about how well things went and how she thinks that Lex likes her that way. She wants to go on another date with him. It
was totally weird. She spilled so much I had to change the subject. I guess because I'm such good 'friends' with
Lex she felt she could
confide in me.
So I guess she's planning on doing more with him. I know Lex won't let more happen, but why can't he just tell her 'no thanks'? I guess it
was because he couldn't come up with a good enough reason. He'd have to say he didn't like her that way which is true so he can say that,
but he won't. Instead he says yes and now she thinks he likes her. Why is he going out with her? Is there something I'm not doing right? Is
it because I don't give him something that she can? She's probably way smarter than me and can talk on his level. Maybe that's it. I can
imagine that he'd want somebody he can converse with, somebody more on his maturity level that can keep up with his double meanings.
I can't begrudge Lex a friend. He's an adult so he can tell her to back off if she tries something more. He can tell her that he just wants
them to be friends.
She seemed so excited but maybe that's just because Lex is such a nice guy and there aren't really many guys for her to talk to like him.
She's from the city so I guess that's why they get along so well.
I totally trust Lex and she's just a friend.
I'm going over for our date tonight and I'm going to dress up nice. It's a real date, so even if we can't go out in public the way
Lex and
Dr. Bryce can; it doesn't mean I can't dress up really nice.
~
10:57 pm
Tonight was so awesome.
I went over to the mansion and after Lex ordered pizza in, we went up to his private room and played chess by the fire.
That was all we did. We kissed and touched and talked about stuff, but it was the most romantic date I have ever been on.
A small part of me was afraid that I'd bore him. I'm not sure why I thought that. I don't feel that way at all anymore. He paid very close
attention to everything I said and I engaged him in conversation. It was so much fun talking to him about what I do on the farm. I admitted
to him that it's not my ideal future job.
We had a really intense moment. It was so perfect.
Dad was in the kitchen when I got home. I can't believe he stayed up. He used the excuse that his leg itched and he couldn't sleep. I made
some hot chocolate for both of us because I just knew he had to get something off his chest. He asked how my date went. He coughed a lot but
at least he asked and he actually didn't scowl this time when I talked about Lex. I told him the truth. I told him we ate pizza and played a
few games of chess, all of which I lost. Then I told him that Lex and I had a long discussion about organic farming. Dad spit his drink out
on the table. It was totally hilarious. He told me to warn him when I made a joke and I told him it was no joke.
I think he was impressed. Just as I was about to go up to bed, he asked if I was happy and I told him I'd never been happier in my life. He
nodded and said good night.
I think Dad's finally realized how much Lex means to me.
I feel so much better about everything. Now if only I didn't have to wake up to do chores.
~
09:25 pm
This is amazing.
I can't believe this. When Kyla told me about the legend of Numan, I thought for sure she was just kidding around or
making it up, but those pictures on the cave? They're my life!
She says it's just a legend but it's my life. I fell from the sky. I shoot fire out of my eyes, and I have the strength of ten men.
What if it's true? What if my ancestors really did come to earth hundreds of years ago and leave those drawings on those caves? This is
huge. The indentation in the cave wall looks just like the key to my ship. It's all been here in Smallville under ground all this time, and
LuthorCorp owns it. LuthorCorp owns something that maybe my relatives left behind.
Kyla is so amazing. She looks at me and I feel weird, like if she knew about me she wouldn't freak out at all. I felt like she already did
know. She found me after I fell through the hole down into the caves. I must have fallen at least a hundred feet and she heard Pete tell me
to jump back up. She told me those legends and never seemed freaked about any of it, as if it was totally normal that a man could fall from
the sky, shoot fire from his eyes and be so strong.
It can't be anything else. At first I doubted her, but when I saw that indentation shaped like the key to the ship... what else can it be?
I need to find out more about this. I need to know everything I can find out about Kyla and these legends. I should probably find out if
it's really true before I get so excited.
I have to go back and look at that indentation in the wall. It's the exact size as the key to the ship.
~
09:27 pm
This is all so promising
Dad thinks I shouldn't trust Kyla and her grandfather, Mr. Willowbrook, but this is the first time anybody has been
able to give me some hint of who or what I am. I invited them over for dinner and I think things went really well. I know that somewhere in
that cave is a clue to where I come from, or maybe even more.
After dinner Kyla and I went to my loft to talk and she pointed out a spot in the sky where a star used to be. She said it's where Numan
came from. What if that's where I came from? Her grandfather told us a story about how a man came from the stars and fell in love with the
mother of their people and that the Kawache people were born out of their forbidden affair. He said this happened 500 years ago. I wonder
why it was forbidden.
I showed them the piece of the ship with the symbols all over it and they said they have no idea what it says. I was really hoping that they
knew but it looks like this is all a dead end. All the stories they told sound like nothing but legends that their people passed down
through the years.
I still want to figure out if this cave really is something connected to me. I called Lana and asked her to stop by so I could ask a favor.
Hopefully Mr. Small can stop the construction and we can study the caves.
Kyla hit on me while we were alone in my loft. It was a little awkward since I couldn't say 'sorry, I'm taken by Lex Luthor. You know, that
guy your grandfather hates'. She is so beautiful and I have to admit that I find her attractive. When she touched my hand and held it, I
felt something for her. I'm not sure what, but I kept thinking for sure that we'd kiss. I thought it was going to happen but then Lana
showed up. The way Kyla looked at me . . . I don't want to be attracted to her but I can't help it. I can't stop thinking about her.
I might just be excited about the caves, but I think I kind of liked it when she hit on me. She has this way of looking at me, like she can
see into me and know my secrets. Maybe it's just wishful thinking or projecting. I really need to learn more about the caves. I really want
to learn more about where I came from or who I am or what I am and Mr. Willowbrook said he might be able to decipher the language on the
tablet. It's my people's language.
~
07:25 am
An interesting week end
Chloe and Lana are still barely talking and they still haven't come to an understanding about their opposing points of
view on how to handle their situation. I don't blame Lana at all. She's lived in this town all her life and she's being judged much more
harshly because of it. She also has a business to run and people might decide to drink coffee elsewhere. People have done stranger things.
I've had a busy weekend. On Saturday Pete and I went out on our dirt bikes. I ended up spilling and falling into these old caves filled with
wall paintings and drawings. It turns out this girl I met, Kyla, and her grandfather have been looking for them for years. They're really
cool. The only problem is that they are under a construction site owned by Mr. Big's company.
We're trying to get construction stopped so we can save the paintings.
I haven't been doing much else but hanging out with Kyla. The cave drawings are so fascinating. Kyla and her grandfather came over for
dinner the other night and I got a chance to spend some time with her. She's so interesting.
I just hope we can save the drawings and the caves. So far Mr. Big doesn't seem to care at all that he would be destroying a local treasure.
~
03:55 pm
This is so unbelievable
I just came back from being with Kyla. We were at the caves to take pictures or the wall paintings, and I went with her
so I could get another look at them. The construction above ground was very disruptive.
Kyla knows about me now. I had no choice but to save her from a huge falling boulder. She had climbed up higher to get a closer look and
take photos of some paintings that were high up on the wall. It happened so fast I had to act and she was still awake.
She didn't freak out when she saw me rush over to her and when she saw that boulder hit my back and smash into a million pieces. She thinks
I'm Numan. Maybe she's right. If she is, then I was sent here on purpose for sure.
There were some very interesting paintings on the cave wall that make me think that maybe things in my life are destined, like whom I'm
meant to be with. Kyla said that this painting of a girl with dark hair is a depiction of who Numan is destined to be with. She was wearing
the bracelet in the painting. She said it's been in her family for generations and it's depicted in the painting of Numan's true love.
There was also this one drawing that I couldn't stop looking at. It depicts a two-headed creature that Kyla says is Numan and Segeeth. She
told me about the legend of how Segeeth and Numan are like brothers and that one day Segeeth turns on Numan and they will form the balance
between good and evil. It's fascinating. If the image is supposed to represent something that will one day happen, then there is somebody
out there that will one day become my greatest enemy. I can't even imagine that. It's like Devilicus and Warrior Angel.
After I saved her, I wanted to tell Kyla that I can't be this Numan because I'm already in love with somebody, and it's not a dark-haired
girl, but she told me not to think logically, to just give in. Then we kissed. I kissed back and didn't stop her until she tried to take my
shirt off. I broke the kiss and tried to tell her that I couldn't do it. I wanted to tell her about Lex but I couldn't so I left her down
there.
Now I feel so guilty. What if it's true? What if I'm not meant to be with Lex? What if this picture that Kyla's people drew hundreds of
years ago means I'm meant to be with her?
I can't lie to Lex about this. I need time to figure out what to do. I'm so confused. I feel so bad for kissing Kyla and I can't stop
thinking about her. I thought about her last night when I jerked off. That's the first time I've ever thought of anybody but Lex. She's just
so beautiful and she knows about me and she doesn't care. She still liked me even though she knows I came from the stars and that I can do
all these things other men can't do. If I was with her I wouldn't have to worry about telling her my secret. I wouldn't have to keep looking
over my shoulder.
I have to tell Lex about this. I can't keep putting it off. I haven't even told him that I met Kyla. I think I'm going to be sick. I feel so
horrible right now.
Maybe I can't fight destiny.
~
04:24 pm
There's something I need to tell you.
Lex
I have something to tell you. I met somebody. Her name is Kyla. She's really cool and really nice and I think I like her a lot.
Something happened today in those caves while Kyla and I were looking at the paintings.
We kissed. And I liked it a lot. I'm so sorry, Lex. I don't know what to say. Nobody else has ever made me feel this way but you, and now I
meet somebody else and I feel different around her.
I'm really sorry.
Love Clark
~
05:54 pm
I think the choice was made for me.
I wanted to tell Lex right then in the cave. I wanted to spill every last secret, but I couldn't do it.
I asked him to give me time. I thought for sure he'd tell me to go to hell and leave. I wouldn't have blamed him.
I was asking for a huge favor when I asked him to help bail out Mr. Willowbrook. I thought if I showed him the cave he'd change his mind and
then something clicked while we were down there. Suddenly no matter what, even if those pictures are all true and are about me, I knew that
I was meant to be with Lex and that he was meant to be with me. I love him even more now than ever before.
We drove to the caves and I was so nervous. I wasn't sure how Lex would react. I thought maybe he would tell me I was insane. He was so
quiet and I understand that things between us could have ended forever right then and there. Although I didn't get that at the time, I got
it after, when we drove back to the mansion. I almost lost Lex for good and it would have been totally my own selfish fault. I don't deserve
him at all, but I'm so glad I have him, because if I didn't, I don't know what I would do.
After I showed him the cave and he agreed to help me, I couldn't stop myself. I wanted him right there in the cave. I was so excited and
before I knew it I had him almost completely undressed with his pants and briefs down around his knees. I wanted to worship him so I turned
him around and got down on my knees and did something I never thought I'd ever be able to do without blushing all the way through. I stuck
my tongue in his ass and it was the most amazing thing ever. I loved it, I loved him, and I wanted to do it forever. He tastes so good.
I jerked him off and after he came with my tongue in him, I pulled my pants down and fucked him. I didn't realize it at the time, but we
were leaning up against the wall with the key indentation in it. It was perfect as though it was meant to be. At first the whole thing
scared me and I wanted to run, but then I realized, it is meant to be. It was the hottest thing ever, being right there, facing that wall.
It makes me hard just thinking about it. I want to do it again and again. I told Lex I totally love him and nobody else, and that if he
would just be patient, in time I could tell him my secrets. He agreed to wait, though he looked hurt. I don't want to hurt him; I just want
us to be together. We both said that it was forever and Lex even said that I am the only one for him, which is perfect since he is the only
one for me. I don't care what that drawing of Numan's true love looks like, Lex Luthor is who I want, and I will never stop loving him for
as long as we both shall live. As far as I am concerned, we're married in our souls already.
God that is so much to wrap my head around. I feel so good about everything. I know that I did the right thing. Plus, my tongue was in Lex's
ass. I am so doing that again very, very soon. He has such a yummy ass.
~
09:14 pm
This is so hard to believe.
Sometimes Dad can be such a pain. I just knew he was going to be all excited about Kyla and have all these hopes for
her and me. I told him tonight that there was no way anything beyond friendship would ever happen. I mean, at first I thought something
might, but then I was reminded by my boyfriend who I really belong with.
Lex and I had a moment in the caves and it's a moment I will never forget. I love him more than ever before. I should have known.
I will admit that I had a moment of uncertainty, but I'm past it now. I feel so much better and I did something with
Lex that I never
thought I could do. I think he's probably the only person I could ever be that intimate with.
Chloe did some research and I think Kyla is hiding something from me. Something about her family. It's disheartening because she told me she
was being totally honest and now I have doubts. I know better than anybody that people are allowed to have their secrets, but I've shown so
many of mine to her that I wonder why she is hiding her secrets from me.
My mom came home shaken. A wolf attacked her. Something really bad is happening and I have a feeling Kyla has something to do with it.
Ever since I came back from showing the caves to Lex, I've felt different. I just hope my suspicions about my new friend are unfounded.
~
10:00 pm
You can all relax
Kyla is dead. She died tonight, trying to defend the caves. She thought she was doing the right thing. I feel so numb.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. I wanted ... I don't even know what I wanted, but I know I didn't want this.
I need to be away now.
~
12:19 am
I did it!
OH GOD!!! I told Lex!!! I showed him how strong I am. I told him I am freaky strong and then...
He kissed me and when I said "I love you," he said "Ditto".
I feel numb. I feel exhilarated. I ran home. Then called Lex to let him know I'd gotten home okay. It was five minutes from when I left the
mansion.
I have never heard Lex sound so happy. He's not afraid of me and I love him and he loves me.
Maybe one day I can tell him about the alien thing.
When I told him and showed him, he kissed me. He laughed and it was kind of nervous-scared. I was worried for a second, but he looked so
happy. Oh and he needs a new headboard which he said he'd pay for.
I broke a piece of his headboard off to show him how freaky strong I am.
Totally not related, I love when he touches my hair. It makes me feel loved.
He said I love you and kissed me!!!!! And he said he could never be afraid of me.
~
05:19 pm
He did it
Lex saved the caves and now they are protected.
Mr. Willowbrook gave the bracelet meant for Numan's true love to me. I didn't really know what to do with it, but when we were at the site
and Lex rode in to declare the caves protected, I knew what I had to do. I had to give it to my true love.
I went to give it to him and when we had mind-blowing chair-sex, I lost control and crushed the arm of the chair we were sitting in. Lex
didn't even blink. I felt so bad. I probably bruised him a lot. I know his hips will be black and blue. At this rate I'm going to break him.
He got this look in his eyes when I lifted him up so I could strip us. He wasn't afraid at all. He watched me and saw what I could do and he
wasn't afraid.
It was awesome sex. I locked the office door and sucked him off. Then he rode me and I have to say, I loved it. He was on top of me and it
drove me insane and when I grabbed the chair so as not to crush his legs, he told me to grab him and only him. In the end, I had to grab the
chair with one hand because --fuck-- that was the most amazing ride. He rode my cock to the point of total ecstasy. I can't even say how
great it was to know that he wasn't afraid and that he trusted me not to hurt him. He trusted me!
God I don't even trust me. I never trust me. But Lex does trust me. His body was all for me.
I asked him to fuck me. I wanted him to take me, but it was too much too soon, and I got that, but I just wanted to give him more.
I want to give him everything I can give him. I guess, we all hold back something, even if it's from somebody you totally love.
~
10:39 pm
The bracelet
I gave the bracelet to Lex. It was the only thing I could do with it. I had to. If I am truly Numan -- and how can I
doubt this when those paintings on the cave wall tell my life story? --Then the bracelet belongs to my true love. That's Lex.
Last night Lana stopped by. Whitney is missing in action. She was so upset, I held her for a while, as she cried. I didn't really know what
to say. I was shocked to say the least. I never thought about it but Whitney went away and was sent somewhere dangerous. He's just human and
can be hurt so easily.
People are so fragile. Yesterday when I was with Lex, I grabbed him and I know I left bruises. I know he's probably in some pain today.
I spent the whole day doing chores with Dad. After dinner we watched a game together and just hung out in the living room. It was nice. He
even asked how Lex was doing. We talked about the caves and I told Dad that I totally trust Lex to take good care of them. Dad's worried, as
always, about Lex and how close we get. I didn't tell him what I did. I don't need to tell Dad that I showed Lex my strength. I think I'm
going to tell Mom for sure. I know she'll understand. I know I can get her to understand.
It's totally freaky. I've gone down there again to look at the paintings. That one Kyla said was Numan and Segeeth draws me for some reason.
I don't know why. She said that they were best friends like brothers. There's so much to learn about them. I can't wait to start studying
their meaning. Maybe I can find clues about my home world.
I'm spending the rest of the night relaxing. I feel so burned out after everything that's happened and now the whole town is upset over
what's happened to Whitney. So far this has been a bad year. I just hope it gets better soon.
~
08:51 pm
So glad school is over
Between Pete and Chloe not talking, and a pop quiz in biology, my day went just super. Pete still insists that he
didn't snitch on his friend, or as Pete said to me three million times today, his ex-friend. I had to hear about it all day. I spent most of
my free time with him because I felt totally guilty that I've become Mr. Neglecter since Kyla.
After school I went over to his house to shoot hoops and have dinner with him and his mom and dad. It was a nice change. Pete totally cracks
me up. At least he didn't ask me why I'm not going after Lana. Although he did ask if I'd ever seen them do stuff. He asked about twenty
times, and I have to admit I found it highly amusing, even though I shouldn't. He's a total dog.
I promised him I'd talk to Chloe and try to mend things between them. I still have no idea what to think since he's still saying he wasn't
the ratter (is that even a word? Note to self: look up "ratter").
I called Lex at lunch and tonight. He said he's fine. I was worried that I'd bruised him a lot this time around. I grabbed him really hard
during sex. That was such awesome sex. I fantasized about it when I jerked off. Sunday night I did it in the loft and Dad came up just as I
finished. I have never been so glad that I can move fast.
I've alternated all weekend from freaking out to being excited. I probably should have found a better way to show and tell Lex than what I
did. I keep thinking about the look on his face when he saw what I could really do. He didn't flip. He looked so excited and so interested.
I wonder what he'd think of the heat vision. I can't wait to tell him how that started. When he hears that story, he is never going to
believe it.
I feel so tense tonight. I need to tell Mom what I did. I have to let her know that Lex knows something. I can't tell Dad. There's no way
he'd ever understand and maybe that just might make him rush over to the mansion and do something we would all regret. Then I'd have to
protect Lex, or I could sweep him away and we could run off somewhere far away together. Maybe we could go someplace where nobody cares that
we're gay.
I can dream. But first, I need to jerk off.
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